Vatican Reverses Stance On Gay Marriage After Meeting Tony And Craig

[joeybee12]

VATICAN CITY—In a stunning and unexpected reversal of long-standing doctrine, Pope Benedict XVI proclaimed the Roman Catholic Church's unequivocal support for gay marriage Tuesday, just hours after meeting Stonington, CT couple Tony Ruggiero and Craig Housinger.

The papal decree—which authorizes priests to administer the sacrament of holy matrimony to same-sex partners and explicitly states that "homosexual relations between two consenting adults is not, and never has been, a sin"—was reportedly a direct result of the pope sharing an afternoon of engaging conversation and hearty laughter with the gay couple.

"Not only are Tony and Craig complete sweethearts, but anyone who spends more than two minutes with them can see they're clearly perfect for each other," said Benedict, who in the past has described homosexual behavior as a grave disease that threatens all of humanity. "They're fun, gracious, and simply wonderful company. And you can tell they have something special just by the way they look at each other."

"They're soulmates, really," added the pope, smiling. "Allowing them to formalize their union in the Church is the least we could do for them."

http://www.theonion.com/articles/vatican-reverses-stance-on-gay-marriage-after-meet,20912/

[xchrom]

1. ...

:rofl:

[joeybee12]

2. If ONLY it were this easy!

:7

[ZombieHorde]

3. The RCC acting decent happens in Onion articles.

The RCC acting monstrous happens in regular articles.

[Aerows]

4. If only...

...it wasn't the Onion.

I'll just keep waiting for that along with the Church actually doing something about their pedophile problems.

[LeftishBrit]

5. Oh, I wish!

Sadly, I knew this would have to be from the Onion.

[hedgehog]

6. I know it's meant as a joke, but it makes me sad. Ironically,

the words put in the mouth of the Pope are actually coming out of the mouths of many, many Catholics. We woke up one day, looked at the members of our families and our friends who were also members of the GLBT community and said "What's all that fuss about?"