Roots and bullying... (and how that affects us even decades on)

[nadinbrzezinski]

so as many of you know I went down to bury my dad.

And we went to the cemetery where we walked by familiar names\photos... what can I say? And later brother and sister were talking about how they got real roots in Mexico City. And it struck me... due to the extensive bullying when I was growing up... I could not wait to get away... FAST.

In fact, I really do not share that with them. Roots is not something I can say I got.

This is what happens to many kids who get bullied at school. No, I would not justify taking a gun to school and shooting the place up... but lord knows I get it.

And this is why we need to deal with this subject, as painful as it is, and stop going, but kids will be kids.

One of those random thoughts that at times come back to me.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

1. Here's that famous study that claims that popular kids are the bullies

Popularity Increases Aggression in Kids, Study Finds


Popular kids — except those at the absolute top of the social ladder — are most likely to act aggressively toward other kids, a new study finds.

It isn't aggression that makes kids more popular. But becoming more popular makes kids more aggressive, said study author Bob Faris, a sociologist at the University of California, Davis — suggesting that those kids see tormenting others as a way to gain and cement status.

Faris and his co-author, Diane Felmlee, reviewed a study that followed eighth-, ninth- and 10th-graders in North Carolina over a year. (Article continues at the link).

http://www.livescience.com/11737-popularity-increases-aggression-kids-study-finds.html

[nadinbrzezinski]

2. Yep, it was the popular kids

funny, I met one at temple... she tried to pass herself as buddy buddy... she does not remember the bullying I do.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

4. What a bunch of jerks. I was a teacher here, I took particular pleasure...

I took particular pleasure embarrassing the popular kids whenever these embarrassed or humiliated the less popular ones.

Fortunately, they got very angry at being embarrassed in front of the class, and reported it to their parents, which gave me a superb opportunity to tell their parents what a little sh*thead they had created. Not in so many words, but you get the picture. Generally they said they had never had trouble with any other teachers. Of course not, they sucked up to the teachers. However, I despise the mistreatment of the more helpless, and it just burned me up when bullies mistreated others, so bullies never fared well in my classes.

The funny thing is, when a popular 'leader' bully is embarrassed in front of the class, her/his followers would take a step back and remove themselves from her/him. The leaders would try to get their followers to do things for them (like the lackeys they usually were), and when they failed to, the leader would threaten them. It was fascinating!

Sometimes I kept them in my own detention after school, read them the riot act, and questioned them.

Why do you pick on so-and-so?
Do you realize I notice every time you do that?
Are you aware that you're not very nice when you do that?
Would you like that done to you?
Why do you do it? Is it your way of seeking popularity?
If I see you doing that again, this year will not be too much fun for you.
I'm going to call your parents right now and explain to them that you've got a 500 word essay to do this evening explaining why you bully others.

I have a suspicion that excessive praise, excessive leniency, excessive freedom, excessive materialism, etc., is a surefire recipe to creating a little monster.

[nadinbrzezinski]

6. I wish more teachers did that

I really do

But what amazes me is every time we have an insert here school shooting, we all go, but what could have triggered the kids?

I know exactly what could.

Years later as a medic, given my experience I identified with the kid, I talked one off a ledge.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

7. It's important to be cautious tho. Popular bully kids will often try to find other ways to

take it out on the scapegoats, unless the teacher gets really mean and makes life a living hell for the popular bully.

One very popular bully girl that I kept after school in my classroom asked me (buttering me up), "Why do you hate me? I never did anything bad to you."

For some reason they seem to think that adults like them a lot. I imagine they never get much grief from adults. Adults are to blame.

[bluestateguy]

3. And as I continue to say, we should not be afraid to promote self-defense against bullying

It's all fine and good to demand that the adults protect everyone, but that will not always be possible.

[nadinbrzezinski]

5. oh when I did that I ended up in front of the principal

:-)

As I said, I could not wait to leave... and leave hard... I also get it why kids ... kill themselves,

[AndyTiedye]

8. k/r