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You marry a farmer’s daughter, and he gives you two cows.
You outsource their milking to increase profits.
You set up an offshore shell corporation on a Caribbean island to avoid all taxes.
You manipulate the futures markets to vastly increase the price of milk.
You sell all your milk on the international market.
You start a faux-political party to escape all criticism and responsibility for rampant unemployment and milk shortage at home.
You obfuscate the truth of your manipulation and treachery with your party's battle cry, "Milk baby milk!"
Production increases at your overseas slave labor milking operations but all the milk is still sold on the international markets.
You get your paid congress-critter to gut food safety regs.
You get the Supreme Court to outlaw class action lawsuits, so when milk contamination kills 400 people each survivor must sue on his own. You tie them up in courts for decades.
The milk market collapses so you get bailed out by the taxpayers whose jobs you outsourced.
You get billions of dollars in government subsidies from the politicians you bought with your profits.
You tell the unemployed, starving workers in your now depression ravaged country that it's their own fault and they'd better get used to it because this is "The new normal".
It's all OK because you still keep all profits, pay no taxes, continue to manipulate markets, and still get government subsidies.
You are convinced that American Capitalism is the best economic system ever.
You try to convince everyone else of this obvious fact or else you'll accuse them of being un-American.
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