spousal abuse victim dead, pushed out of 25th floor apt

[Liberal_in_LA]

Josh Hilberling Pushed Out Window (by 8 months pregnant wife), Dies, in Alleged Spousal Abuse Case

Josh Hilberling, a 6-foot, 5-inch, 220-pound former football player, died after he plunged 17 stories from his Oklahoma apartment building, an alleged victim of spousal abuse.

Tulsa police say Hilberling, 23, was pushed out of his 25th floor apartment window at the University Club Tower on Tuesday by his wife, Amber Michelle Hilberling, 19, who is being charged with first-degree murder.

"We taught him to never hit a woman, but what we didn't think to teach him was to get away," his mother, Jeanne Hilberling, told ABC's affiliate KTUL. "We just will never forget him. He's one of a kind."

"Anybody that knows Josh is going to miss that smile, but no one more than his proud military parents who wanted the world for son," she said.

The couple had been married only a year, according to his parents, but just last month their son went to Domestic Violence Intervention Services looking for help. It had been hard, they said, for him to admit he was a victim.

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/josh-hilberling-pushed-window-dies-alleged-male-spousal/story?id=13813096

[seabeyond]

1. i am so so sad. nt

[MrScorpio]

2. That's one less decent guy in this world...

That another woman who actually needed one could have had.

[Liberal_in_LA]

4. well..other parties claim abuse on both sides

[FLAprogressive]

15. Of course she's going to say that. She's being charged with murder.

[ej510]

3. That is insane.

[WinkyDink]

5. Ya know, she's probably the perp, but "alleged" would still be the order of the day.

[Liberal_in_LA]

8. agreed

[Corruption Winz]

6. Obviously, it's very difficult to know the circumstances of the situation...

But if hitting that woman in the face would have saved his life..... I wouldn't have held it against him.

Sad story, either way.

[Liberal_in_LA]

7. she's 8 months pregnant. he would have gone to jail for sure

[Corruption Winz]

9. Very, very likely...

Personally, however, I wouldn't have blamed him. It would have been a survival instinct. And if she weren't pregnant... forget it. I would have minded if he drop kicked her if it was all he could do to save his life.

But, I get what you're saying. Legally, he would have been screwed.

[Liberal_in_LA]

11. He's so much larger and stronger than her, I can't imagine 'drop kicking' her was his only defense

maybe push her aside and run out the door.

[Corruption Winz]

30. Correct. However, I can't imagine being beaten by a woman either...

And if I was in the situation, I would do what I had to do to survive. Drop kick, double axe handle. Tombstone pile-driver. Whatever it takes. Whether or not he's bigger shouldn't matter. If you feel threatened and feel you must do THIS to survive an attack.. then do THIS.

[KingFlorez]

10. If she was abusive, he should have left before she could go that far

Leaving is the best thing that can be done.

[elehhhhna]

12. Yep, BUT consider that he couldn't leave and

still get custody of the poor baby once it's born...which I HOPE to GOD was his "plan". She's going to plead that her hormones drove her temporarily insane. At least I would.

[FLAprogressive]

16. Or that she was abused, of course he won't get to defend himself and people will probably believe it

[n2doc]

31. Very hard for the dad to get sole custody. Even with an abuse record on the spouse n/t

[Riftaxe]

13. And he should have known better then

to wear provocative clothing to, eh?

[KingFlorez]

27. What is your point?

I'm not blaming anyone, just pointing out the obvious solution.

[FLAprogressive]

14. Yeah, if all those "victims" would just get up and leave there wouldn't be any abuse would there?!!?

:sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm:

[KingFlorez]

28. Save the dramatics

In response to the person who said he needed to hit her, I said that leaving is the better solution.

[tammywammy]

22. ...

Josh Hilberling's father told ABC that the day his son died, he had been trying to leave the relationship for good.

"That's the only thing people need to know is that when you're trying to leave, it's the most dangerous time," said Jeanne Hilberling.

[ergot]

23. He went to the apartment to pick up his belongings. My brother lives in that building

and heard talk (well, gossip I suppose) about them 'fighting' even in the elevators and the parking garage.

[chrisa]

17. There's no situation where you should ever hit a woman in the face.

[lumberjack_jeff]

18. Self defense is legally justified.

But it is incumbent on someone for whom self defense is necessary to get out of the situation.

There are as many excuses to stay with a batterer as their are victims. He needed to get out, and it's socially important that advocacy groups be available to help.

[provis99]

19. I guess he deserved it then.

Hell, he probably started it, right?

[NotThisTime]

24. When you would be dead otherwise I disagree....

I'm glad we taught our son how to get away, now I hope he never has to... saddest damn thing.

[Name removed]

20. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[tammywammy]

21. According to his parents he was getting ready to leave her for good

"Josh Hilberling's father told ABC that the day his son died, he had been trying to leave the relationship for good.

"That's the only thing people need to know is that when you're trying to leave, it's the most dangerous time," said Jeanne Hilberling."

[Wind Dancer]

25. Very tragic!

Abusive relationships often end in murder, sad to say.

[Blasphemer]

26. It's a shame that he wasn't able to get out before she killed him

I wonder if he told her that he was planning to leave her and that's when she killed him? Horrible. I feel sorry for their unborn child. Hopefully both sets of grandparents will be able to have a good relationship with one another.

[cali]

29. per the article: protective orders had bee issued on both sides

[Liberal_in_LA]

32. interesting. So one of them shouldn't have been in the apartment, probably him

[tammywammy]

33. The POs were dismissed when both failed to show up to court.

According to his parents he was at the apartment packing up to leave.

[Liberal_in_LA]

34. oh.