In my dream-life: Rep. Weiner's Resignation speech:

[PCIntern]

"I'm glad you're all assembled today, and I welcome the members of the media, who will get another week or two out of my story and sell more Cialis and Chantix during your seemingly unending commercial breaks. Both of these medications, by the way, have been known to cause death, but don't let that stop you from selling these companies extensive airtime.

I'm here to resign from the Congress, but I want a few minutes of your time before I utter the words which you have been awaiting so you can follow Sarah Palin around some more while she lies and lies and lies about everything, and you all just don't have the balls to confront her or the truth. Never mind that that story about her delivery was something from Alice in Wonderland and just the most ridiculous thing anyone has ever heard, but your incredible stupidity to buy such an arrant lie or if she weren't lying, and I find that impossible- I know a liar when I see one after all, then she is the worst mother known to mankind right after Casey Anthony...and by the way, it's just a coincidence that she and I share a name.

So before I go, I want to say a few words about the august body from which I shall be collecting a pension for the rest of my life: the present Speaker is an out-and-out drunk of the first order who cries and cries because if you think that I'm a wimp and inadequate, you should see him in the shower, and believe you me, that spray-tan of his didn't hit all the parts. At least I'm one color all the way around and that you know to be the truth. The rest of the Republicans are carrying on and I am releasing at this very instant into the Internet on five hundred simultaneous sites: who is sleeping with whom, who is gay pretending to be straight, who is a drug addict and from where he or she receives the pills, who is taking cash bribes, and I even have mp3 files of Congressmen making remarks about the more negative aspects, in their minds, of the Constitution, marriage vows, and their very own leaders including, but not limited to Speaker Boehner, former President Bush, and former President-in-situ Dick Cheney.

As far as my Democratic friends go, those who sold me out without a moment's hesitation, I am hereby telling you that each and every one of you shall receive an envelope from me. In that envelope is a letter which contains material which will, when released, cause you as much shame as my behavior has cost me, and why not? One good turn deserves another. These will be released just prior to primary season in order that quite possibly a real Democrat could take your place here.

Well, thank you very much to all of you who demanded my resignation, for here it is. I quit. I hope it was worth it to all of you.

[WillyT]

1. That Would Be... AWESOME !!! - K & R !!!

:evilgrin:

:hi:

:kick:

[leveymg]

2. Not one word in there about Clarence Thomas? You completely ignore the reason Weiner is being

railroaded.

Send the script to Re-write.

[PCIntern]

3. Feel free to write your own!

Everybody gets a shot here at DU!

[leveymg]

5. I wouldn't write Weiner's resignation speech.

There's no reason for the Congresman to resign, as far I'm concerned. Unlike Clarence Thomas, who has committed multiple federal crimes. That is compelling reason for the Justice to turn in his resignation, or be indicted and stand trial.

[SnakeEyes]

6. if you still believe that.'s it..

wow

[leveymg]

7. You don't?

Tell us, then, why did Breitbart, Russert Jr., et. al suddenly develop an interest in Weiner?

[SnakeEyes]

8. Because he tweeted a link to a picture of his bulging crotch

And has had other question actions with other people online via social media and on the phone.

No photo, no way for Breitbart et all to attack.

Unfortunately he did it at the time he was going after Thomas.

[leveymg]

11. Oh, just a coincidence, you say?

[sabrina 1]

13. Really? Here are some facts.

In Feb. Rep. Weiner wrote a letter signed by approx 70 other Democrats asking Thomas to recuse himself.

Approximately around the same time, according to the Smoking Gun's records, Weiner became a target of some vicious attacks by Breitbarts keyboard warriors. The attacks did not stop and escalated into the harassment of some of Weiner's young High School followers. Their tweets and emails have been saved. It is clear that they were attempting to accuse him of having sex with minors which is why they stalked the younger followers on his site.

They spoke about a sex scandal, long before the first photo became public, so they clearly intended to make one up if they couldn't find one.

Approx. two weeks ago a virtual bombshell regarding Thomas was dropped, evidence that he had lied for 20 years about his income, having originally said his wife's income, from far rightwing sources was not a conflict for him, since he was not the recipient of it. It seems that was a very big lie. Almost immediately the Weiner scandal began via Breitbart, Fox, Drudge et al, and the media, instead of covering the Thomas, actual real scandal, became totally obsessed with sex.

Of course it all could be a huge coincidence, but imho opinion, he stepped on some really powerful toes.

[SnakeEyes]

15. you're still ignoring the fact that Weiner tweeted the photo link

without that they have no scandal.

[sabrina 1]

19. And just what is scandalous about naked photos?

The AMerican people don't care.

Here's what I think of as a scandal.

Bailing out crooked bankers with a trillion dollars of tax-payer money while ignoring the American people's loss of jobs, loss of their homes, and then turning around and demanding that the American people, already in financial distress, pay for the gambling debts of those who spent THEIR money to run a scam on their investors, on this country and on the American people. And to add to that, those same corrupt Wall St. gamblers, give themselves million dollar bonuses, while the people suffer, and despite a bi-partisan Senate investigation finding that crimes were committed, not one of them has been held accountable.

And that's just one scandal I could list. Don't get me started on the corrupt wars and the money stolen for them out of the SS trust fund.

Compare that, 15% of this country's wealth stolen, to some sexy photos of a US Congressman and you tell me which is more scandalous.

Sorry if my priorities are different than yours. Amazed to see Democrats like Nancy Pelosi, Steny Hoyer, Debbie Wasserman et al actually working on the weekend. But NOT to do something about the plight of the American people, incredibly they went to 'work' to demand that, against the wishes of his constituents, he resign because of sex.

The spectacle of them outdoing their Republican colleagues on finger wagging about morality and the 'dignity of Congress' (excuse me while I laugh) was mind-boggling. It took me back to the Clinton days when I could not watch their counterparts gathered around the microphones calling for the resignation of Bill Clinton because it made me ill, an that was before we knew what hypocrites they were, because of sex.

So now we're the party of family values? Shame on them. They should have kept quiet and let the people decide.

But the people don't get to decide anything, do they?

[demwing]

17. It was satire

enjoy it

[inna]

4. not really funny because Weiner should NOT resign

[sabrina 1]

9. He should reserve a special moment for Breitbart.

And now, a moment of silence please. I leave you with an exclusive. I present to you this photo of the (limp) penis of the man who now controls the Democratic Party, Andrew Racist Breitbart, sent to me by one of his boyfriends.

Good night, good witch hunting and may the bluebird of happiness poop on your talking points!

Edited to add: No way should he resign, but since the Party left him, he should become an Independent and maybe start a new party. It's interesting what this whole thing has revealed. Breitbart never targets DLCers, only Liberal Democrats. Only Liberal Democrats so far have stood up for Weiner. DLCers are calling for his resignation, but welcomed Party Traitor, Joe Lieberman back with a standing ovation.

I think this party is split beyond repair repair and there is no room in it for progressive Democrats anymore. Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe Liberal Democrats need to leave the DLCers to their own devices and take the Party back. DLCers could call themselves 'The Reagan Democratic Party' eg.

[LadyHawkAZ]

18. I like your ideas.

I'd like to see a real progressive party that cared more about issues and less about penises.

[aquart]

10. Childish bleh.

[PCIntern]

12. Sorry, the sophistication on this board is overwhelming...

I'm going to see the Woody Allen movie...he only married his stepdaughter, so big deal...maybe he should resign too.

[Liberal_in_LA]

14. His 'democratic friends' didn't make him twitter his private parts, so why the pay back?

[eridani]

16. That should happen only if Vitter the Shitter resigns first n/t

[Raine]

20. I would like to hear that too. What has come out on

these politicians which includes BOTH Democrats and Republicans is probably only the tip of the iceberg on what they are doing. I wish that just one of them would rat out all the rest of the scum and expose EVERY dirty secret that EVERY ONE of them has. They are probably all afraid, they know they could never ride safely on a private plane again either that or afraid they won't get a hedge fund job afterward.