Vox Day: Men shouldn't marry working women

[alp227]

Via ConWebWatch, Vox Day (psuedonym of Theodore Beale, a former video game designer and techno musician) used his latest WorldNUTDaily column to whine about how career women ruined marriage for men (a common talking point among misogynist whiners: liberated women harm men!)

So, what is a young man who wishes to be a happy and productive member of society but does not wish to find himself locked into a life of post-divorce serfdom to an ill-tempered, overweight woman with a legal obligation to children who may not even belong to him? Fortunately, the answer is both clear and easily applied. To increase your chances of marital and familial success in life, it is vital to stay away from what are known as "career" or "working" women.

While this will not eliminate all the risks of what has become known as Marriage 2.0, it will return a man's probability of successful marriage to that of the earlier, more marriage-friendly era. Marriage to a stay-at-home wife rather than one with a full-time job reduces the risk of divorce by nearly one-third. Just the simple act of avoiding romantic involvement with working women is nearly enough on its own to again make marriage a viable option for young men.

Moreover, stay-at-home mothers make for much better mothers as they spend 91 percent more time with their children than working mothers do. The most remarkable observation is that stay-at-home mothers spend 12 more minutes per day on the physical care of their children than working mothers spend with their children in total; the net result of this insufficient attention is that the children of working mothers are 23 percent less likely to pass college entrance exams, 29 percent more likely to be unemployed and are more likely to be overweight by age 11.

91 percent more time? 12 more minutes per day? Children of working mothers 29 percent more likely unemployed? Both of my parents work (at least since I was 12), and I'm not in that category of wrecked children.

Terry Krepel, author of ConWebWatch, responds: "The only suitable woman for Day, apparently, is one who lives only through her children and husband and has no independent thoughts of her own."

[Marrah_G]

1. Even if a mother wants to stay home its almost impossible

Unless you are wealthy........

[Kber]

13. 100% Correct

Frankly, I would have liked to stay home with my children longer, but the the nice bank that hold our mortgage really likes their monthly payments to be made on time.

Don't get me wrong - I generally like my job and I'm luck to have one. But they still have to pay me to get me to show up.

[ProdigalJunkMail]

41. Define wealthy...

because we have several friends who have stay at home mom's in their families and homeschool their kids...and I would not consider them wealthy. However, they have made choices that don't require two incomes...

sP

[Marrah_G]

50. I suppose it depends on where you live

Here in the Boston area the cost of living pretty much requires both to work, unless you are in some type of subsidized housing situation. I'm coming from the perspective of the working class. I am in good shape now only because last year I moved in with my guy and we share a home with another friend and 4 young adults. Up until then I was a struggling single parent who couldn't have done it without the help of my parents and the state just to survive.

[ProdigalJunkMail]

52. Well, yes, as a single parent it would be almost impossible

but for a family, it can be done. We live in the northern suburbs of ATL and the area is pretty affluent...but you can still find homes that can be supported on a single earner's pay.

The scenario that works in this area is :

Earner bringing in a little over $90K
Home price less than $300K
Both cars older and paid off
No Student Debt
No Credit Card Debt
Eating out once or twice a month

The families that cannot do it, on similar income, are in more expensive homes, drive new cars and either have high credit card balances or live rather 'high on the hog' as it were.

sP

[roguevalley]

45. poor baby. what a sad individual. frightened of the big bad women

[Marrah_G]

51. confused.....

did you respond in to the wrong post?

I'm a working mom.....

[roguevalley]

55. YIKES! I meant the man. Not you, honey. ALl the women in my

family including me work. Sorry, honey. This just dropped down. :(

[Marrah_G]

56. LOL

I figured that was the case :)

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. Where in God's good name do these misogynistic men come from?

Damn.

[KansDem]

6. The media?

I don't know...I believe there was a time these loons wouldn't be given air time. Their nonsense would just be shrugged off as that...nonsense.

Kind of like giving air time to every inmate at an insane asylum...

[blondeatlast]

30. Mom's basement. nt

[Common Sense Party]

3. May I buy a verb?

"So, what is a young man who wishes to be a happy and productive member of society but does not wish to find himself locked into a life of post-divorce serfdom to an ill-tempered, overweight woman with a legal obligation to children who may not even belong to him?"

"...the answer is clear"

How can the answer be clear when the question itself doesn't even ASK anything??!? Where's the verb?

[LadyHawkAZ]

15. +1

[Brickbat]

25. The verb is there.

"So, what is a young man who wishes to be a happy and productive member of society..."

There are several answers to that question. The man could be an idealistic dreamer, a self-centered asshole, a pragmatic twit and so on.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

4. I don't even know what he wants.

Women who stay home with a gaggle of children are usually far more unhappy, in my experience.

[madmom]

7. They don't care if the women are happy, just so they are....n/t

[whathehell]

32. +10 n/t

[Maru Kitteh]

43. Exactly. As long as they don't have to wash their own clothes or vacuum a floor, that's all that

matters. They want a mommy they can hump.

[reggie the dog]

39. my mother

always said she was happier being a stay at home mom than working, she had no boss at home, she ran the house, she was the boss, my dad is not the kind of guy to tell my mom what to do, i am sure they arrived at the choice after a discussion.

[monmouth]

5. It's "Mad Men" redux. They loved the little women at home while

they had to work late. Egads!

[pipi_k]

8. Well damn...

I have a son and three step-sons-in-law who are gonna be real surprised to know that they're not supposed to be happy with their lives because their wives have careers.

Who knew?


:shrug:

[dipsydoodle]

9. Is that as in "working girls"

:shrug:

[WCGreen]

37. That was my first thought....

[abelenkpe]

10. Completely untrue

There was a study recently that pointed out that divorce rates among couples that both had higher educations and both worked was much lower than any other group. Besides, why would a young man or woman want to marry a dependent in this economy? Seems like younger generations need two working adults to just get by. It's all about teamwork, isn't it?

My mother stayed at home, was continually put down and belittled by my father and pretty much ignored us so while she was there, she wasn't someone to look up to or want to emulate. Dysfunctional family though, I'm sure some can make that arrangement work and still be mutually respectful.

[yellowcanine]

11. "post-divorce serfdom to an ill-tempered, overweight woman with a legal obligation to children who

may not even belong to him?"

Words fail. And wouldn't this scenario be LESS likely with a career woman? As in:

Career women have their own means of support so are less likely to be awarded alimony by a judge.
A man has a legal obligation to his children whether he is married or divorced. If his wife or former wife has an income, the financial cost of the children is less on the man.
As far as I know there is no evidence that career women is any more likely to have a child by a man other than her husband than a stay at home mom. This is basically a slander on career women as in "career women are more slutty."

And the "overweight" part is plain old misogyny, as is the rest of course.

[Iggo]

49. Yeah, it's like they're actually trying to piss me off.

Fuckin' momma's boys.

[Skidmore]

12. Considers himself a "Christian libertarian," eh?

That label doesn't even make sense.

I don't understand the mindset of the women who enter relationships with these kind of men.

[Blue_Tires]

31. Yeah, I looked up his wiki...

I'll never understand this current crop of self-styled "libertarians of convenience"...They go full hardline constitutional scholar when it comes to defending their freedoms and personal interests, but everyone else not in their little circle can go to hell...A few years back a former co-worker and I were debating the South Park Allah controversy, and I was wowed as he put up the most spirited "Everything must be allowed or nothing can be allowed" -defense of the First Amendment that would make the ACLU weep...Some months later there was a minor controversy in the news over some rap artist -- "Oh yeah, he's a piece of shit...They need to ban his stuff from the airwaves" He told me this with a straight face completely unaware of any mental disconnect...

And I've known quite a few libertarians, and mindsets like his are the rule and not the exception...

[RadiationTherapy]

14. Except for the sex/gender specifications, the basic premise is correct.

Two full time employee/spouse/parents have a lot working against them. Keeping a home is a complex and vitally important task.

I think 2 part-time employees make for a more peacable home for those of modest materialism.

[dawg]

16. It would be great if all families could afford a stay-at-home mom or dad.

Most cannot.

And some that can, choose not to. And that's fine.

I don't know how the divorce statistics stack up, but I intuitively believe that a working man will find more in common with a working woman than with a stay-at-home. If the stay-at-home families have a lower divorce rate, I expect that is due more to the stay-at-home spouses being intimidated (financially and otherwise) moreso than working spouses, who are able to get out of the marriage more easily.

[ismnotwasm]

17. Well well

Good luck with that. I don't think that plan will go over well in the 20 to 30 something crowd, male or female.

How about working men and working woman who choose to start a family simply share responsiblity with a family plan (as well as family planning)

How about Dad staying home? Working mothers should be ok then, right?

Besides, My dauther stays at home and works her ass off. I find the idea that a woman who stays at home to raise a family is not 'working' offensive as hell. Fuck that shit. What the hell does this person think, raising children and hearth-tending entails? Sitting at home watching soap operas?

What a disgusting buttmunch.

[reggie the dog]

40. i would much rather stay at home and raise my kid

and run the house than have a boss. but when we fathers do that people say we are lazy and leeches.

[Maru Kitteh]

48. Nonsense. The neighbors next door have that arrangement. She's a professor, he's a stay-at-home dad.

I've never heard a single person in the whole neighborhood express anything but positive comments about him, her, their family situation or their children.

And I live in rural Nebraska, not some idyllic blue-state hamlet so if it works here...

[KamaAina]

18. A pox on Vox!

:dunce:

[damntexdem]

19. Well, then, the simple solution is for women to marry working women.

So the author should be for marriage equality. ;-)

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

20. Just read his thoughts on rape

What a vile creature.

[Blue_Tires]

21. If he's married, I'd love to read a comment from the wifey...

If he's divorced or never married, then the punchline writes itself...

[JoePhilly]

35. She's not allowed to use the computer or the phone.

And her movements are limited to the kitchen, bedroom and laundry room via a remote controlled collar.

[Aerows]

22. He's 42, single and works for WorldNetDaily

..better known as World Nut Daily. He doesn't even live in the US, yet he wants to tell Americans residing in the US what to do?

What a douchebag.

[gkhouston]

29. Well, now we know where his "facts" came from... n/t

[JoePhilly]

36. He's probably down in mommy's basement.

[Le Taz Hot]

42. Can't understand why the guy's still single . . .

I mean, what a catch, heh? :rofl:

[alp227]

53. actually he's married n/t

[LetTimmySmoke]

23. Not to mention the fact that a stay-at-home wife is a financial death sentence.

[ProdigalJunkMail]

46. Bullshit...

how so?

[Luciferous]

47. Really? I stay at home and we are doing just fine financially.

How exactly did you come to this conclusion?

[ProdigalJunkMail]

57. they obviously came to this conclusion through prejudice

and not any sort of supporting evidence...

sP

[Ikonoklast]

24. Holy shit is that guy nuts.

He's a high-functioning lunatic.

[surrealAmerican]

26. Let me get this this straight ...

... if he's married the children's well being is the most important thing, and well worth sacrificing for, but if he's divorced his children are merely a financial liability, whose needs can be ignored?

I hope he never has kids.

[eilen]

33. Basically that is how it has been for a long time

When you are married, your children are an investment in the future. When you get divorced they become another monthly bill. My parents divorced in the early 1970's and my father was very bitter about that $25/week per kid he had to pay. That is why I told my husband the only way out of this marriage is a casket. My kid(s) are not growing up as an afterthought.

Oh, I work part time but have worked full time and there were periods when I didn't work at all. Same for dh. Life happens. That guy quoted in the OP is a flaming asshole.

[BlueIris]

27. Sounds like he really enjoyed "The Handmaid's Tale"...all of it.

And not in the good way. One of the first social consequences of the totalitarian take over of society in THT is women being forbidden to work. Which the main character's husband likes a lot because she is forced to totally depend on him for everything.

Sicko.

[seabeyond]

28. "lives only through her children and husband ". this is as offensive as women should not work

as old and tired.

can we let this one go?

if a parent decides the job they chose is staying home and taking care of that environment is worthwhile, must we denigrate them?

[PerpetuallyDazed]

34. Newsflash: "stay at home Moms" are working women, too.

These misogynistic whiners need to join the real world and redefine their definition of work. I think the key to marital and familial success is having BOTH spouses capable of preparing a meal, doing laundry, helping with the children, ect... it's sad when women are literally trained from childhood to do these multitudes of jobs and men are being left behind.

[reggie the dog]

38. i would have loved to have been a stay at home father

or had a stay at home mother for a wife if finances allowed it,

my mother was a stay at home mother, she and my dad discussed it and agreed to live modestly off of his salary (meaning overtime for college fund and dad's motorcycle) that she could stay home IF SHE WANTED TO. This is how it should be. IF a woman or a man WANT TO stay home and their family can afford it that is probably what is best for the child.

[WinkyDink]

44. Newsflash to Moron: Wives and mothers worked outside the home in the 1950's, also.

[cherish44]

54. I guess I married an oddball

He wanted me to work and was in fact pissed that I decided to stop working outside the home for a couple of years after i had a became a mom. Apparently I was being "leechy" taking care of the house and the kids. (we're divorced and his current wife stopped working after the I do's were said.. and she loves to shop and has expensive taste, but she's his midlife crisis trophy wife so it's all good...only thing is she's pissing way my kid's college money and inheritance and that idiot will be frickin bankrupt if he doesn't put a stop to it)