from
http://thedesperateblogger.com/2011/05/pawlenty-announcement-to-kick-off-thetribulation/So much for ‘boring’.
Former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty may make the biggest splash of any of the 2012 GOP candidates when he jumps into the ring on Monday – less than 48 hours after Saturday’s much-anticipated Rapture, and exactly two months since he chose the day of the last vernal equinox to announce the formation of his Presidential Exploratory Committee.
According to his campaign manager Nick Ayers, the timing of the announcement, “should demonstrate clearly to what’s left of the American public that Governor Pawlenty not only has a pulse, but also has his finger on the pulse of current events.” Sipping from an oversized margarita during the 2-for-1 happy hour at a St. Paul area Houlihan’s, Mr. Ayers added, “The timing of his announcement shows what a brilliant strategist he truly is.”
Karl and Meegan Toomey, whose Pueblo, Colorado-based apocalyptic think-tank just celebrated it’s eighteenth, and what many in the Republican base believe will be its final, anniversary, concurred with Mr. Ayers – except for the absence of salt. In their just released ‘Pre-Apocalypse Report, Third Edition', they conclude:
“If the most influential block of conservative voters is correct, they will all be long gone before dawn on Sunday and the only voters left will be liberals, Gays, Mormons, Jews, and of course, Muslims. By addressing those voters just as the reality of the End of Days is hitting them, Governor Pawlenty will capitalize on the exact moment they will be willing to embrace the fact that have been wrong all these years… On the other hand, if the expected Rapture does not materialize, he can quickly pivot toward the center, where he has a better chance of winning mainstream support -- and at the same time can woo both independents and disillusioned Democrats by telling the wing-nuts on the fringe of his party to go screw themselves...”
Fox News, which industry analysts unanimously agree is the one network that will definitely still be broadcasting on Monday, will air Pawlenty’s announcement live from an Iowa corn field, beginning with pre-speech analysis on their new morning show ‘666 Fox Boulevard’.
Soon to be ex-Fox News personality Glenn Beck, speaking for what he naively believes will be the last time to his most loyal followers said, “I consider it an honor to have been chosen as chief correspondent for ‘666 Fox Boulevard’s’ inaugural broadcast, and cannot imagine a more fitting way to ring-in 'The Tribulation’ than to introduce the latest addition to the GOP 2012 Presidential field. To me, nothing says ‘Apocalypse’ quite like ‘GOP 2012’…”
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