who sells rapture insurance?

[jorno67]

I'm pretty sure that the entire insurance industry will still be here to process claims...

[RegieRocker]

1. I do. Send me all your money and a piece of paper with the title

Rapture Insurance and typed goobily goop will be sent to you a.s.a.p.

[jorno67]

2. it isn't like flood insurance...

where it doesn't go in effect for 30 days? I wouldn't want to get bamboozled!

[RegieRocker]

3. Effective immediately, that is my guarantee.

[jorno67]

10. I wonder how many corporations have taken out Rapture Dead Peasant policies

besides walmart of course.

[Ghost in the Machine]

15. You are stealing my gig, dude!

But I don't mind sharing the wealth :-)

Just make sure you have the disclaimer "Not responsible for Acts of God. Acts of God are NOT covered under this policy" so when they don't get raptured, you don't have to pay out. God left them behind because their faith wasn't strong enough, they were phonies, or whatever, but it's their fault they weren't raptured. Being left behind was an act of God..

[RegieRocker]

16. Lol

[jorno67]

17. that's perfect!

[zeemike]

4. Don't just buy any rapture insurance.

My rapture insurance will garintee you a seat on the Rapture Buss for as little as 100 dollars
But there is more....it is good for ever...and if you can afford more like 1000 dollars you get a seat on the Rapture Express which bypasses all the little stops on it's way.
And for those that can afford more, like 10,000 or more we have Rapture Air that goes strait to heaven...first class accommodations may cost a little more.
So don't delay...send what you can right now so you won't miss out.

[RebelOne]

7. I hope all your spelling and punctuation errors

are part of this joke.

[RegieRocker]

11. A grammar Nazi!

[obxhead]

5. Obviously the jokes continue, but I had to google as well

http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/

http://www.verumserum.com/?p=8310

It really is a damn(ed) industry. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[jorno67]

8. I really like the pet insurance, that's so thoughtful.

[obxhead]

13. Yes, very thoughtful.

Take money for an event that will never happen for a service you'll never have to provide. Thoughtful indeed! :rofl: :rofl:

[madamesilverspurs]

6. Satan,

same as all them there other inshoorances.

Amen.


-

[CanonRay]

9. I will, I'll take your money.

[Atman]

12. You're not eligible...they consider intelligence a "Pre-Existing Condition."

You're stuck down here with us.

.

[marmar]

14. They do.......

[slackmaster]

18. The Church of the SubGenius offers Eternal Salvation with a Triple-Your-Money Back guarantee

For only $30.

http://www.subgenius.com/pams/pam2p1.html

[Lucinda]

19. Did you see the post about the pet care service for those who will be leaving?

Planning for the pets they will leave behind...Thats a sweet racket!

[jorno67]

20. nice, I wonder how many rapture dead peasant policies are out there.