How to mess with the May 21-ers' minds.....

[scheming daemons]

Early in the morning of May 21st, gather up a bunch of your old clothes and go near your local evangelical churches and put little piles of them scattered about.

Make it interesting... for example:

- put a pile of clothes behind an abandoned stroller and put some baby clothes in the stroller under a bottle that is half full.

- put some clothes next to a mailbox, and then put a couple envelopes on top of them... maybe have a spilled cup of coffee next to them.


As long as we have to live amongst all the whackjobs who think the "Rapture" is coming to take them, we might as well be entertained. The looks on their faces when they realize they've been "left behind" will be worth it.

[Trajan]

1. LMFAO ! ....

That is hilarious .....

Okay ... now Im thinking ....

[OffWithTheirHeads]

2. +1,000

[immoderate]

27. People in South Florida can come to the FLASH party...

--imm

[Blue State Bandit]

75. It's already started...

Now that's a cause worth laughing about!

[Canuckistanian]

3. "If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody....."

"...Come sit by me"
-Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980)

[geckosfeet]

17. +

[Odin2005]

4. LOL!!!

[Tx4obama]

5. Watch the video on the link below - Left Behind PRANK

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMGrwwHMv1I

[Control-Z]

10. I should be ashamed

but I laughed my ass off. :rofl:

I'm sorry. I could not help myself!!

[Ratty]

50. The more she cried

The more I laughed. What the hell is wrong with me??

[backscatter712]

37. Awesome!!! n/t

[Fuzz]

64. Jesus Christ on a pogo stick

[JBoy]

LOL. "Wait... This is really scaring me...."

They let her off the hook way too quickly.

That was really funny, by the way.

[nadinbrzezinski]

82. I hate to admit this

but this is FUNNY

[CoffeeCat]

6. Oh the fun we could have!

That is a great idea.

To come out of church--only to find empty strollers and clothes lying around.

Hilarious!

[haele]

No, no -outside Buddist temples, Synogogs and Mosques ....

Or outside the strip clubs, bker and gay barsaround homeless encampments to really drive it home.
If you put them outside churches, it just vindicates the rapturist's particular fantasy.

Haele

[rpannier]

7. This must be an event that didn't get any mention in Korea

WTF is so special about May 21st

on edit part I:

Never mind.
A mental hospital is missing some of its crazies
And they have access to a website to post their crazy

on edit part II

Wish I'd known about this sooner. I want Falwell's mansion to live in.
Maybe I'll just move into some large Church building here in Korea after they're gone.

[hyphenate]

8. I really must make my final arrangements

I will need someone to look after the cats, at least.

.


.


.


.


.


.

.:hide:

I guess this means I won't be seeing the new season of Leverage when it starts on June 26. Too bad--I was looking forward to it!

[rpannier]

9. Only fundies Christians are getting raptured

The rest of us get to move into their 12,000 sq foot, 30 room mansions and drive their fleet of luxury cars.
You know, the houses and cars that were like the ones Jesus lived in and rode around in -- Okay there weren't any luxury cars (Luxury Horses)

[dddem]

66. luxury asses, actually.

luxury camels also.

[swimboy]

12. The cats have already arranged for your care and feeding.

;)

[mikeytherat]

52. I'm planning on driving a late-model, pre-owned/recently raptured car to my gig on the 21st.

Hope I can get the McCain/Palin '08 sticker off that Mercedes by showtime!

mikey_the_rat

[swimboy]

80. With our usual inerrant timing

we will witness the end of the world from Newark NJ with a college friend who is an Episcopal priest. There should be a lot of great swag in Montclair if anybody makes the cut.

[piratefish08]

18. problem solved!!

http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/

[KurtNYC]

47. you can buy insurance

for real:
http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/

[SheilaT]

84. Oh that's GOOD!

[nadinbrzezinski]

86. Oh the cats are too aloof, they must know they ARE saved!

there, saved you that worry!

If course if I see a bunch of feathers in the cages and no parrots... I know they were saved...

:hi:

If you find fur and no cats!

[donheld]

11. Theme song for the May 21, crowd

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEDGgXYFFAM

[Duer 157099]

13. Oooooooh, your name is so apt

and I love it! It's brilliant!

But hidden cameras must be installed. I predict YouTube sensations....!

[coalition_unwilling]

14. Nefariously villainous . . . or is that villainously nefarious? The mind-fuck

potential is just soooooo tempting.

[coalition_unwilling]

15. FaceBook now has a Post-Rapture Looting Event you can

sign up for to receive updates. Over 27,000 people have signed up so far:

https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=121968371215699

[Warren DeMontague]

16. Where's Banksy when you really need him?

:shrug:

[kentuck]

19. That paints a picture of...

a world-class comedy. :-)

[1awake]

20. lol, that would be funny but

the May 21st peeps are very few and not representative of 99.9% of evangelicals. Being religious myself, thus being possibly one of those... what did you call us.. oh yes, whackjobs.. I won't take offense. All that aside.. I'd be on the ground laughing if you pulled that joke on my church; it would be a good one!

[sweetapogee]

22. 1awake

1awake, You are correct and if I may add, 99.9% of the .1% peeps you call out are not members of any church, evangelical or otherwise. Who are they? They are listeners of a particular radio station.

[1awake]

40. Very true. n/t

[Kievan Rus]

71. An article in today's Pittsburgh Post-Gazette mentioned exactly that

Basically, Harold Camping is a laughingstock among evangelicals; primarily because he can't understand something as simple and explicit as "no man can know the day or the hour," as stated in Matthew 24:36 and Mark 13:32; one of the very few passages in the Bible that Protestants, Catholics, and Orthodox can actually agree on.

[Tesha]

21. It'd be kind of funny if the only beings who disappeared were the mice and the dolphins... (NT)

[Buns_of_Fire]

28. "So long, and thanks for all the fish."

(I don't know what kind of goodbye note the mice will leave.)

[Tesha]

39. They wouldn't leave us any message at all --

We were just part of their grand experiment!

Tesha

[EstimatedProphet]

23. I'd really love to inflate some plastic blowup dolls with helium and let them loose

[HopeHoops]

24. Holy SHIT that's a great idea!

:rofl:

[Ezlivin]

30. See: Six Feet Under - "In Case of Rapture"

They explored that very scenario in the opening sequence: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0701996/

[EstimatedProphet]

33. Exactly. Also, it's an ongoing urban legend.

Wouldn't it be great to see it happen in real life?

[hootinholler]

55. Inflating plastic dolls with helium is an urban legend?

Please a pointer, I'm confused.

-Hoot

[EstimatedProphet]

60. Yeah, it is

Sorry, I don't have a link handy, but the idea for the opener of Six Feet Under came from an urbam legend about a fundy who saw someone lose a bunch of blow-up dolls inflated with helium (being moved to a party) and was so certain that the rapture was happening that she was hit by a car. Six Feet Under basically borrowed the urban legend for a show opener.

[hootinholler]

73. I had not heard that one before!

:rofl:

Hope it's not true.

-Hoot

[Arugula Latte]

46. I would like to dress these blowup dolls in Kirk Cameron t-shirts before their release!

:rofl:

[Yavapai]

72. A friend once gave me a gag gift of a blow up doll,

I hung it up in my rec-room/bar. But it had a slow leak, and looked like someone had hung her self. My nosy neighbor saw it through the sliding glass window
(over a 7 foot solid wood fence) and the police showed up at my door with red and blue lights a flashing, and demanded entrance.

I took it down right after that. Now, I wish I had saved it...

[madokie]

25. My sides hurt from laughing so hard

shit fire and save the matches

[CanonRay]

26. You, sir, have a very devious mind

I like it! :toast:

[IDemo]

29. Be sure to place some clothing together in a compromising position

It may as well be a rapturous Rapture, right?

[DearAbby]

31. Shit!

I'll miss the 2 hour season finale of SUPERNATURAL!!!
:Smileystompingfloorinanger:

[TNDemo]

32. I knew someone in college who was totally caught up with the rapture

Thing. One night about 3:00 am they cleared his floor of the dorm and someone stood at the end of the hall and blew a trumpet. Took quite awhile for the kid to discover everyone had not been raptures and him left behind.

[Angry Dragon]

34. I figure all the churches will be empty on the 22nd

so we can take them over as homeless shelters
and anyone you meet you can call them sinners

[rustydog]

35. I am going to do this at work!

[lumberjack_jeff]

36. Place a copy of an L Ron Hubbard book atop each pile. n/t

[Sheepshank]

38. Do any of these 1% crackpot evangelicals own a auto dealership?

I'm thinking of buying a new car and charging it on my credit card and then disputing the charge with the cc company.

[needledriver]

41. I'm doomed...

I laughed so hard I guaranteed I will still be here on the 22nd.

[FredStembottom]

42. This must be about the 5th Rapture I've been through......

Being in my 50's, I can recall at least 4 other definitely, for sure this time, Raptures that didn't happen.

Be sure to watch for Christian on Christian recriminations, distancing and tortured reasoning leading to throwing the loudest May 21st'ers under Satan's bus.

[scheming daemons]

56. Saturday Night Live should be fun this week...

The world will end right in the middle of their show.

[FredStembottom]

95. Good point! Gotta watch.

n/t

[Lynx]

43. It's true

These people believe that they will be raptured up buck nekkid.

[bobburgster]

44. That is hysterical!

would love to see that.

[Arugula Latte]

45. Don't you know it's unacceptable on DU to make fun of "Faith"?

Don't mention Magic Undies, either! :cry: Yes, we can spend our time criticizing Republicans' stupid ass beliefs, but apparently Religion is in a special protected category because you're a Big Meanie if you don't "Respect" the beliefs of those who embrace the supernatural, no matter how batshit crazy and unlikely these beliefs are!

.
.
.

Seriously, though, it would be funny to leave partially singed Bibles here and there with the clothing.

[scheming daemons]

51. As an atheist, I do freely make fun of faith.... but in this case, I am making fun of nutjobs

...

[druidity33]

77. Atheist joke...

"An atheist buys an ancient lamp at an auction, takes it home, and begins to polish it. Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, “I’ll grant you three wishes, Master.” The atheist says, “I wish I could believe in you.” The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist believes in him. The atheist says, “Wow. I wish all atheists would believe this.” The genie snaps his fingers again, and suddenly atheists all over the world begin to believe in genies. “What about your third wish?” asks the genie. “Well,” says the atheist, “I wish for a billion dollars.” The genie snaps his fingers for a third time, but nothing happens. “What’s wrong?” asks the atheist. The genie shrugs and says, “Just because you believe in me, doesn’t necessarily mean that I really exist.”

:)

[LAGC]

91. Good one!

That's one even most religious people can enjoy.

[mikeytherat]

53. Leave piles of "magic undies" all around, as if only Mormons were raptured!

Man, this could be fun.

mikey_the_rat

[BlancheSplanchnik]

92. OMG! That would really make their heads explode!

Two for the price of one, you might say.

See? I even got a little Free-Market Capitalism into the deal.

Not bad! Supply Side Jesus!

[KurtNYC]

48. NBC had rapture scultpure in their plaza right next to the TODAY Show

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walking_to_the_Sky

sponsored by Carnegie Mellon (!?)

[Arugula Latte]

49. It's not a rapture sculpture, though, according to the link you posted.

The piece was inspired by a story that Borofsky's father used to tell him when he was a child about a friendly giant who lived in the sky. In each tale, father and son would travel up to the sky to talk to the giant about what needed to be done for everyone back on earth. The artist says the sculpture is "a celebration of the human potential for discovering who we are and where we need to go."

[KurtNYC]

54. yeah, that's the non-demoninational version of what its about

pretty thin

[Hissyspit]

89. Interview with Borofsky and his "Man With A Briefcase:"

No mention of Christianity.

http://www.cmu.edu/magazine/02spring/borofsky.html

"He is at least a 20th century conceptual artist of note. And at most, a major player in the expansion of site-specific art.

- snip -

CMM: Are you still counting?

JB: I'm not obsessively counting on a daily basis like when I began in 1968-69. That became my daily obsession of three hours of writing numbers in succession linearly on paper every day and picking up where I left off the next. The obsessive ordering, the structuring that the numbers provided and the conceptual side of my brain that it reflected, isn't quite so obsessive anymore.

CMM: You've kicked the habit then?

JB: For me, numbers are like God. They connect us all together in a way nothing else does. Like magic. You and I are now speaking from different parts of the country about ideas, and we're doing it through the use of numbers. Each of our pockets or purses carries all sorts of numbers, printed on plastic cards, which allow us to buy things, call people and do something. That led me to an obsession in the last few years with binary numbers that run every computer in the world. Talk about connecting us all together! We're not talking about numbers zero through 10 or 100. We're just talking about a zero and a one. You put it in a sequence of eight like 01101101. It gives you a letter "A."

- snip -

CMM: You seem interested in victims. Is that part of an interest in the dark side?

JB: The idea of oppression is everybody's fear, and it's been restimulated and in a totally new way with Sept. 11. Can they walk into your home and kill your daughter or son? Can they fly into your home and kill 5,000 people? These are our classic archetypal fears as hunters from millions of years ago when you're protecting your fire and your little piece of land. You have neighboring tribes coming in; you either fight for your people or you lose it. This is very archetypal, very traditional. We put locks on our doors for just that reason, and now we have to put a lock on our country.

CMM: Do you think the nation reacted correctly to Sept. 11?

JB: In an ideal world, it's probably not the right response. For me, it's very understandable given the world and the human beings in it. It's quite traditional. somebody comes into your house and kills your mother, you go out and get them. You don't want those killers roaming the streets killing other mothers or other people. In a perfect, ideal world, I'd like to grab those people, isolate them and study them as prisoners. Find out what made them go wrong. But how to do that so clinically and cleanly without going in and bombing the hell out of a country most of the people are 18th-century peasants. Unfortunately this is what's happening. It doesn't feel right. It feels stupid to me to be dropping a $2 million bomb on a tank in the middle of some desert. Is that really going to solve the issue? It goes back to people feeling disenfranchised like a Columbine student who might be picked on enough to feel bad about himself, feel hated enough that he wants to get back at those people that he feels weaker than, and finally goes out and gets the gun and shoots it all up. Do you call up bin Laden and say, "You just killed 5,000 of our people. You can't do that again. Let's have a meeting because I want to hear your gripes." It's just not going to work. It probably would have been better because there's going to be a lot more people killed on both sides because we can't do that. The natural instinct of the human being is they killed 5,000 people; well, there's no way I'm going to sit down with that guy and talk to him. I'm going to sit down with him and cut his head off. It's understandable what we're doing. I wish there was another way."

MORE

[Hissyspit]

85. Not a big fan of Borofsky's stuff, but I don't think there is any indication he is an evangelist

If you live in Baltimore, you are very familiar with this: http://www.borofsky.com/index.php?album=malefemale

He seems to have a theme of connected human conciousness to his work, so I suppose you could argue that as "spirituality:"

http://www.borofsky.com/index.php?album=hsmeijer

It is kind of cool the way, at some point, you might go 'Wasn't that a giant woman sculpture, wasn't that a giant male sculpture? Oh, wait...'

http://www.borofsky.com/index.php?album=hssanfran

[MrScorpio]

57. I need a car

Think any of them want to give one away?

[scheming daemons]

58. Just wait til they disappear... then you'll have your choice .....

...from all the ones idling on the side of the road.

[Thav]

59. And the end of the world shall come

in tumpty tumpty tumpty one, or three or seven. But not six, because there's not many words that rhyme with six.

Read "Good Omens" by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. Laugh riot.

[Dj13Francis]

61. Funny!

I think I may just do that.

[the_chinuk]

62. Since their minds are already messed with … would they notice? n/t

[Rosa Luxemburg]

63. thought the Rapture thing is 2012

must be coming early?

[dddem]

67. only if you're Mayan

[SHRED]

65. They have minds???

[edbermac]

68. I'd dress up a skeleton in clothes.

[colorado_ufo]

69. Had dinner at a restaurant with The Husband a few nights ago.

In making conversation, I told him that some say "The Rapture" was going to happen on May 21st. The Husband, a Catholic, asked what "The Rapture" was, and I explained that some Christians believe certain people will be taken up into Heaven in advance of Armageddon, to spare them suffering. To give an example, I said, "Two people could be dining in a restaurant, like this, and suddenly one of them would disappear." To which he responded,

"It would probably be the one who got stuck with the check."

Almost fell off my chair.

[Kievan Rus]

70. The thing is, even most evangelicals know Harold Camping is a crackpot

I read something today in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, and a local Christian radio guy says he's never even heard of Harold Camping. Most of the article was about how other, more rational evangelicals think he's a crackpot.

[prismpalette]

74. laughing out loud

this is the first post in a long while that actually had me laughing out loud. I love this, I really really love this

[Broderick]

76. Seriously

how many are there?? Like 20. LOL

[Chorophyll]

78. Your DU name suits you!

:evilgrin: :evilgrin: :evilgrin:

[sabrina 1]

79. But what if they're right?

:scared:

[LAGC]

90. God willing...

If all the Christians just up and disappeared in rapture one day, it would be heaven on earth for everyone left behind.

Tribulations? More like emancipation...

[tomm2thumbs]

81. sounds like fun - 'Andromeda Strain' watching parties to commence immediately

[RedCloud]

83. Will they will us their belongings?

[BlancheSplanchnik]

87. Scheming daemons, this sure lives up to your name

Absolutely hilarious! Malevolently hilarious!

No, more like Mischieviously Malevolent.

And so DO-able......
XXXXX!!!!!!!!! Oh crap, better edit that.... I meant the idea! IDEA!

Billionnaires for Bush could divert some energy to a new side group, the Kristians' Auxilliary.

:P

[struggle4progress]

88. I feel rather sorry for them and am not inclined to torment them further: they'll know

they were wrong on 22 May

It might be more useful to try to understand the psychological dynamics behind phenomena like this: whatever complete despair, about existing circumstances, leads people to expect such resolutions of our problems?

[RowdyRacer]

93. I am hosting a big motorcycle race on the 21st...

I hope JC lets us get the main events run and the champagne sprayed!!

[2banon]

94. that is funny..

I love this idea.... wonder if it will catch on?