Bachmann: "Somebody's Got to Save This Country From Certain Doom..."

[krispos42]

Somebody's Got to Save This Country From Certain Doom, And Let's Face It, That Person Is Me

By Michele Bachmann
Congresswoman
August 15, 2011 | ISSUE 47•33

Our country faces a moment of extreme crisis. We stand at the verge of an utter breakdown of our economy, our government, and our way of life. Democracy itself is at a crossroads, and without proper guidance, the United States of America will face grave times ahead. During this period of great tumult, someone needs to step in and fix these complex and enormous problems, and when it comes to the question of who is truly up to this task, I think we can all agree that person is—hands down and without question—me, Michele Bachmann.

Look at it logically for a minute. Of the 300 million people in the United States, who stands out as the one most capable of uniting a divided country and fixing a fractured Congress? Talk about a no-brainer. With my track record of urging white people to take back America, attending a church that believes the pope is the Antichrist, and advocating "conversion therapy" as a means to cure homosexuality, I'm clearly the only legitimate choice to become the next leader of the free world.

You know it and I know it.

It's just a plain and simple fact: When you close your eyes and think, "President of the United States of America," whose face immediately pops into your mind? Of course it's mine. After all, this is the face of a woman who instills confidence in the entire populace by having no understanding of basic American history and making a huge public outcry over a proposed change in lightbulbs.

<more>

http://www.theonion.com/articles/somebodys-got-to-save-this-country-from-certain-do,21135/

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. Nope. She is NOT the one; quite the contrary...

Oh damn it. I didn't see this was from the Onion!

:rofl:

[krispos42]

3. The Onion has mystical foretelling powers

Check out the date...



http://www.theonion.com/articles/bush-our-long-national-nightmare-of-peace-and-pros,464/



:rofl:

[Patiod]

7. That is my all-time #1 favorite Onion piece

I've always kept it in my office, where I can see it but my right-wing coworkers can't.

So prescient.

[Name removed]

6. Deleted message

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[MADem]

2. Well, yeah...she most certainly IS "certain doom," and Obama,winning reelection, will do the saving.

She's such a hubris-laden PUTZ.

[madamesilverspurs]

4. Aw, gee, don't say that where she can hear you!

She probably thinks that hubris is a body part you never ever touch, most certainly not with your putz!

[MADem]

5. Ha ha ha ha!!!

Hubris, hoochie, hoo-ha....it's probably all the same to her!

And that bozo husband of hers wouldn't know what to do with his putz if his life depended on it, I suspect!

[polmaven]

9. Oooh my!

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[opihimoimoi]

8. Hitler said the same friggen thing...he was delusional....whats her excuse???

[LatteLibertine]

10. Michele

we need to be "saved" from our broken corrupt Congress.

Want to help fix it? Campaign finance reform and term limits, please.

[Blasphemer]

11. This is the scariest piece that "The Onion" has ever published

The real words and actions of what is now the mainstream GOP are so far out there that is impossible to tell the difference between truth and satire.