Me and my Daughter are waiting...

[cherokeeprogressive]

She's 18, and Gay. We're waiting for the day when a President will stand up at the bully pulpit and DEMAND that Congress and the American public do the right thing and pass laws that GUARANTEE every American Citizen will be treated equally. She was too young to vote in the 2008 election but called me (she lives with her mom, my ex-wife) almost daily to make sure I was still voting for the person she saw as the one who could and WOULD put an end to the wickedness she saw as her lot on life under the Bush administration, or ANY republican administration. We're waiting for that person who will put on the line their political career and "legacy" in order to do what's right.

My disappointment with the Obama administration grows every day in that context. Few things are more important to me than knowing that after I'm dead and gone, my Daughter will have EXACTLY the same rights and privileges that EVERY other American citizen has. As a parent, it's natural that I would want for her the same life I've been blessed with. I don't think any person possessed of a normal intellect would argue otherwise.

President Obama had the chance to advance the notion that EVERY CITIZEN SHOULD HAVE THE SAME RIGHTS. I think he passed the buck in the context of DADT and DOMA because in his heart of hearts, he DOESN'T believe that GLBT rights are as important as the health of banks and corporations.

Putting off an END to DADT until after the mid-term elections cements that belief. He promised to be a "Fierce Advocate". He promised to put an end to DADT. Putting that decision in the hands of the military (by means of a fucking poll... WTF) was in my mind a calculated way of garnering even MORE of the Gay vote in 2008 than he otherwise would have gotten, while all the while knowing that the mid-term elections would give him political cover by saying that after losing control of Congress in 2010 his hands were tied in the matter.

Yeah, I know that's a very cynical way of looking at things, but I'm a father. I have skin in this game. Some day soon, I'll be gone, and my chance of giving my Daughter the same life I had will have passed. It's a pretty strong political motivation for me. I didn't vote for Barack Obama because of my political leanings, even though I've only ever voted for Democrats; I voted for him because I saw him as the ONE PERSON who would and could make my Daughter's life less of a struggle.

It seems that every passing day puts DADT and DOMA further and further from repeal. I see no one in his administration providing concrete evidence that it's a priority for every American Citizen to be treated equally under the law. Given that he's the FIRST African-American President in our nation's history, how could that be? How can he sleep at night knowing that ANY person in ANY minority is still being oppressed because they don't have equal protection under the law?

For the first time in my voting life, I'm presented with a choice that hurts either way. It's either "vote for US or risk being governed by THEM". At this moment, I feel like neither choice will benefit my Daughter, whose future is complicated and almost guaranteed to be a hard road. Knowing that I'll soon be unable to affect that future is one of the worst feelings I've ever had.

I'm forced to vote for the candidate that gives my daughter PROMISES in order to garner votes who then gives those promises lip-service and admonitions that I should be happy with what I've got. My motivation is supposed to be "imagine how bad it would be with X as your President."

That's not good enough for me folks. I'm about to give up on voting based on my ideology, because those people I thought had OUR best interests at heart were really just blowing smoke up my ass in order to get that vote. I thought only rethug candidates did that.

After all the bullshit I just posted, it's a safe bet that we'll both be voting straight Democratic tickets this November (she for the first time), and again in 2012. We won't hold our noses to do it though; we'll be wearing fucking gas masks, and we'll know in our hearts that it's not about whose rights might be codified by our vote, it'll be about "It's either US whose hands you put your life in, or THEIRS". We'll understand that AFTER the election, it won't be individuals whose lives are affected in the most positive of ways, it'll be corporations and bigots that benefit the most, because they have the most money.

Click here to unrec this post.

[jannyk]

1. big k&r!

[Yuugal]

2. K&R

[sandnsea]

3. Do you ever do anything positive?

All I ever see from you are 2 am rants against the President. Maybe I missed them, but where are your posts about the actions to take out in the real world to draw attention to legislators and legislation?

There was a protest in Florida tonight, while Obama was speaking at Alonzo Mourning's house. At least those folks are DOING SOMETHING.

[Skittles]

4. draw attention?

WTF? It's BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS.

[boston bean]

5. Is fighting for or advocating for LGBT rights negative?

What the hell are you doing on a democratic board pissing and moaning about someone writing about wanting rights for their daughter?

Maybe you should take your own advice and get out there fighting against people like the one who wrote the OP. Go on down to that protest and tell all those LGBTers to get a fucking life and get over themselves and say something positive about the Prez?

edit sp

[sandnsea]

19. Gosh, I complimented people who are down at the protest

I specifically said, at least they're DOING SOMETHING. As opposed to this OP who appears to do nothing but post 2 am rants, over and over and over again.

[girl gone mad]

8. Do you ever do anything positive?

All I ever see from you are uninspired attempts to bully DUers whom you don't like.

[bigwillq]

13. Wow, just wow

:thumbsdown:

[The Uncola]

15. Why don't you...

... can the bully routine, and act like a civil human being?

:mad:

[sandnsea]

31. Bully???

For suggesting somebody actually do something positive to fight for change, like so many others do every single day? That's being a bully?? Or is that YOU being a bully and trying to silence criticsm of those who do absolutely nothing but have daily tantrums.

[The Uncola]

37. Damn straight, bullying.

You jump down someones throat with assumptions you pulled out of your ass, because they dare to express an opinion you don't like, in an attempt to silence them. That is bullying.

[sandnsea]

40. Assumptions? I see the rants every day

That's no assumption. I never see a single post about pending legislation, writing an ltte, sending money to an activist group, NOTHING. That's not an assumption either.

NO. I'm not the bully. YOU and your crew are the bullies who always create a gang and attack any poster who challenges your bullshit. I'm not the bully. But every poster who attacked me needs to take a big long look in the mirror and question whether they belong to the most hateful group on DU.

[The Uncola]

41. Welcome to my..

.. ever growing ignored list.

[dionysus]

58. + 50

[Whisp]

59. get over yourself. it's not bullying

but that's a handy word to use right now, isn't it?

*spits

[The Uncola]

67. *spits????

Really?

Aren't you all that and a bag o'chips, eh?

:rofl:

[dflprincess]

48. How do you know the OP isn't out doing "something positive for change"?

You can't make judgements about how active someone is just by what they post here.

[myrna minx]

21. nevermind.

[Parker CA]

32. Geezus. nt.

[cherokeeprogressive]

39. I uh, I guess uh, I guess not. I'm about to something extremely positive right now though.

I'm going to suggest you put me on ignore, so you don't have to worry your beautiful mind about people who like to stand on soapboxes in the park. I don't post for recs, unrecs, or even replies most times. I just post what's on my mind.

I don't know if politicians do what they do for the power, the prestige, or just to stroke their own egos, but I do know that if they put political expediency and re-election above basic human rights they should expect there to be people like me in the park standing on soapboxes and yelling about it. So should you. But, since you don't, put me on ignore and I predict positive outcomes for both of us.

Have a good one.

[sandnsea]

42. Do you stand on a soapbox in the park??

Wow, now that would be an awesome improvement over your 2 am rants. I would take back my entire post if you were actually out there doing something in the real world.

[cherokeeprogressive]

45. Yup. I'm standing on a soapbox in DU Park nearly every day.

"I never see a single post about pending legislation, writing an ltte, sending money to an activist group, NOTHING."

I spent a ton of fucking money opposing Prop H8te, and helping get Barack Obama elected. I don't feel the need to post "Look at me! Look at the good I done!" things, and if ranting about the repeal of DADT and DOMA cannot be related to posting about pending legislation, well then I'm pretty damn confused.

[ZombieHorde]

46. DU posts probably have a bigger audience than a soapbox in a park would have.

The OP is expressing frustration which comes from having a child who is a second class citizen.

[sandnsea]

50. As I said, I've seen that expression every single day

Nobody needs to tell me about the OP. What they might do is make recommendations that would help the OP channel their frustrations in a more constructive way. Neither soap box rants in the park or on DU are enough to make the necessary changes.

[Hello_Kitty]

51. Right, the President's inaction is the fault of insufficient activism by the LGBT community

GMAFB. :eyes:

[ZombieHorde]

52. Sometimes people who have been mistreated need a friendly ear.

I am happy to be that ear for my fellow DUers.

[jaxx]

6. I hope the congress will repeal the DADT law by the end of the year.

They're the only ones who can do it, and when they do the President can sign it into law. I'm sure you know how the right wing is throwing boulders in front of the legislation......

snip// On May 27, 2010, the U.S. House of Representatives approved the Murphy amendment<1> to the National Defense Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2011 on a 234-194 vote that would repeal the relevant sections of the law 60 days after a study by the U.S. Department of Defense is completed and the U.S. Defense Secretary, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and the U.S. President certify that repeal would not harm military effectiveness.<2><3> On the same day the U.S. Senate Armed Services Committee advanced the identical measure in a 16-12 vote to be included in the Defense Authorization Act.<2> The amended defense bill passed the U.S. House on May 28, 2010.<4>

On September 9, 2010, the policy was found unconstitutional in Log Cabin Republicans v. United States of America; an injunction will be issued to bar its enforcement nationwide. This decision was handed down by Virginia A. Phillips a Federal district judge of the United States District Court for the Central District of California. <5>

On September 21, 2010, a filibuster led by John McCain prevented debate on the Defense Authorization Act, which included the Murphy amendment, in the United States Senate.<6>

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don%27t_ask,_don%27t_tell //

It appears that the repubs are going to do all they can to block this legislation, why aren't they getting the complaints?

[Autumn]

30. Democrats are getting the complaints because,

they are the ones who are supposed to be in charge. We don't have a republican administration. They lost, and they never campaigned on Gay Rights. So we complain about the ones we elected to advance our agenda and that seem to have pushed it aside.

[Dragonfli]

7. K&R I wish your daughter well and hope someday she will be treated as the citizen she is

I have long ago run out of excuses for the inexcusable, no more excuses for the bigotry and hatred that has failed to move the hearts of those that pretend to care. It appears the money continues to win over basic human rights.

I am heartbroken by the loss of representation for people that are not wealthy or imaginary (corporations).

Perhaps your daughters generation will save us all and rekindle the values that should be guiding our leaders now.

We can only hope, not the add campaign hope, but the real kind.

[Dragonfli]

9. Kick to offset the bigoted unreccers that disagree with your daughter having rights

[uponit7771]

17. Drama

[Dragonfli]

22. True nonetheless, having a heart appears dramatic to those that would unrec human rights

If it isn't bigotry that causes such behavior, I am at a loss to explain it.

[CakeGrrl]

26. No, I suspect unreccing is occurring for REDUNDANCY

This OP has made the point over and over and over again. This is seriously some preaching to the choir for the umpteenth time.

[Dragonfli]

28. Calls for civil rights in the sixties were "redundant" but just as necessary No free pass for bigots

[CakeGrrl]

29. You're missing the point - no policy is being set here on DU

The OP is just getting recs from the usual crowd who keep saying they're still waiting and still saying they agree with each other.

Do you think preaching to the same audience who is already with you is going to make DADT repeal go any faster? I don't. Tell me how shouting the same stuff in a cyberspace echo chamber suddenly galvanizes into action.

[Bluenorthwest]

35. The message is 'you are not alone' and apparently it is not

a message you need. The 'usual crowd' is a tidy way of saying 'those people'. The usual crowd? You mean the front line in the Civil Rights battle of our time?
We are the ones who have done all of the work to get what rights we now have. This is what it looks like, it is called activism and community.

[CakeGrrl]

38. No, the "usual crowd" meaning

"Regular posters".

I'm not understanding the hypersensitivity here.

My point is that I, for one, know where this poster stands. I know that because they've said the same thing before.

I get it.

I agree with him. Shocker!

But I just don't see the point in railing at the President here, except if one needs catharsis and to know that the same people who already agree with them are, yes, still posting on this messageboard.

Community? Yeah, I'll agree with that.

Activism? Not from behind a keyboard typing to the same people you can count on to rec your posts again and again. At least not the way I think of activism.

[Name removed]

61. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[ZombieHorde]

47. You want people to quit posting about their sorrows and the causes of their sorrows?

This is what you seem to be saying.

[CakeGrrl]

57. Nooooooo, that's not what I'm saying

What is so confusing about my words?

My point was, to those who wanted to dramatically imply that unreccers are oppressors and haters of equality :eyes:, is that rather than that, maybe it could be an issue with redundancy and preaching to the choir. I guess maybe it's cathartic, but otherwise what is the producive point to restating something that has been said a number of times before to the same people whom you know already agree with you?

[ZombieHorde]

62. "What is so confusing about my words?"

These are the words I was referring too.

"This OP has made the point over and over and over again. This is seriously some preaching to the choir for the umpteenth time."

You seem to see it as preaching to the choir, I see it as someone posting about their sorrows and the causes of their sorrows.

[Drunken Irishman]

34. And everyone who unrecs a positive post about Obama must hate him because he's black.

Racists.

[Dragonfli]

36. If they unreced a post about black civil rights? Yes! bigots get no pass from me

[Drunken Irishman]

43. LOL

[Whisp]

60. so anyone who unrecced is a bigot now?

or perhaps it's because this engorged rage against Obama is just a bit overdone and crisped to nothing. Spend your bile on hateful posts to fucking Pugs - they're the enemy just in case that has been forgotten.

talk about bullying. my god if anyone has a slightly different opinion in threads like these, THEY are the ones that get bullied and piled on by the posse du jour.

[cordelia]

10. K&R

Best wishes to your daughter.

And all of us.

[mstinamotorcity]

11. There are others

who vote because we must move forward. Civil Rights are just not for ehtnic backgrounds and cultures. It is for everyone. I also hope for the day of equality,and will be voting for that day.

[bigwillq]

12. K and R

:thumbsup:

[The Uncola]

14. Sadly...

... this is but one of many huge disappointments for a large slice of us, with this administration. I wish I could say you were wrong, unfortunately you aren't.

[uponit7771]

16. What are you and your daughter doing to get MORE dem congress people? Stop waiting on Obama and

...pick up a phone or a ballot or take vacation and drive somewhere and canvas.

TIA

[Name removed]

18. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Hello_Kitty]

53. People can do both. Work to elect Dems AND criticize the President for his inaction.

Because the poor opinion people have of Pres. Obama on LGBT issues is 100% his own fault.

[TriMera]

55. +1. n/t

[Jakes Progress]

63. Why would you do this?

Why would you attack the OP for expressing her views about GLBT issues and the lack of movement and support from Washington?

Why would write a silly post about the OP and her daughter suggesting that they aren't doing somthing? Please quote me the lines where the OP says that they aren't phoning, voting and canvassing? (What does taking a vacation have to do with this? Were you just spitting bitterness and couldn't control your typing?)

Why don't you do something to help get Democrats elected? Why don't you volunteer? Why don't you send some money to the DLC? Why don't you protest inequality.

See? If you can infer that the OP isn't working, we can infer that you aren't either. So why don't you get off the keyboard and actually do something to help the country?

[Bluenorthwest]

20. Having to vote for candidates that say I should not have rights

is very difficult to do. Very.
Thanks for standing up for your daughter and all of us. Equal is equal. Peace.

[impik]

23. You lost me at::

"because in his heart of hearts, he DOESN'T believe that GLBT rights are as important as the health of banks and corporations".


This is bunch of baseless bullshit. I won't unrec this, because i agree 100% with your overall massage, but i won't rec it either. I had enough with the Obama bashing.

I hope you'll get to see full equality soon.

[Bluenorthwest]

25. The President is oppsed to equal rights for my people

Deal with it. If you support full equality, you do not agree with Obama, because he opposes our equality. Own it. If it bothers you, become useful and lobby the President to enter the modern age and dump his prejudiced views.

[Name removed]

24. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[TriMera]

27. Rec. (hmm), Here's a kick. n/t

[Parker CA]

33. Kick and Rec!

[polichick]

44. I'm waiting for a truly fearless principled Democratic prez too...

Until then, we can vote for teeny tiny incremental change. Far better than going backward several decades - but not nearly good enough.

[treestar]

49. If the President DEMANDED it, and it still did not pass Congress

would you still be blaming the President?

Were you as pissed off at Bush, Clinton, Bush, Reagan over the same issue? Not saying you weren't, but sometimes I wonder why Obama, who has done more than anyone else on the issue, gets more heat than those who ignored it or made things worse.

Giving up voting? Are you kidding?

You're pretending you've already won over the bulk of the voters. You haven't even begun to. Many of the posters on DU seem positively to be trying to alienate the straight majority that they need to be on their side.

I'd read up on the civil rights movement to get an idea where to start. Just demanding that the President decree things is not working.

[TriMera]

54. So, let me see if I have this right.

"You're pretending you've already won over the bulk of the voters. You haven't even begun to. Many of the posters on DU seem positively to be trying to alienate the straight majority that they need to be on their side."

It sounds to me like you are in favor of the public voting on civil rights. I think you're the one who needs to read up on the Civil Rights movement. Folks don't get their rights through a popular vote. So, we don't have to kiss your ass to get what is rightfully ours. Try again.

[The Uncola]

56. Spot on.

[Jakes Progress]

64. Kick and Rec too. But it seems

the usual crowd has named your post as a target.

Many of us agree with you. Many of us were hoping we wouldn't have to hold our noses to vote any more.

[liquid diamond]

65. 0 votes as of now. How telling. n/t

[Catherina]

66. Rec'd, I'm waiting too. n/t