Joke: How to Spot a Republican

[kpete]

Joke: How to Spot a Republican

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be an Obama Democrat."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."

http://www.truthdig.com/eartotheground/item/joke_how_to_spot_a_republican_20100617/

[Arkansas Granny]

1. LOL! Perfect.

[tallahasseedem]

2. This is just...

awesome!

Thank you for posting it! :)

[ladywnch]

3. +1

[The Wielding Truth]

4. This is soooo great!!! Hot air rise! Perfect! Remind you of anyone?

There are few Republicans I can think of lately who have not risen by atrocious political blusterings.

Words mean little or nothing to them. They are like spoiled babies crying for competitive attention.

[ladywnch]

5. this should be permanently fixed to the home page! n/t

[depakid]

9. It really should find some permanent place of distinction

[AspenRose]

6. And what the hell is an "Obama Democrat," anyway?

But yes, republicans talk just like that...as if adding OBAMA to "Democrat" makes it more ominous or sinful somehow.

[Bitwit1234]

7. That's and oldie but still a goodie.

[Lugnut]

8. That's a keeper.

K&R

[salguine]

10. Frankly, in this little allegory, BOTH sides are right.

[vademocrat]

11. I've seen this before - it's been updated with "Obama Democrat"

In 2004, a 70-something friend sent this to me with just generic "democrat".

It's perfect.

[ChairmanAgnostic]

12. Wrong, no self-adoring Republican would ever admit

being lost, in error, or not knowing what to do next. They simply haven't the capacity for that kind of self-awareness.
Exhibit 1 - Sarah Palin.

[Demeter]

13. I was going to recommend using tar and feathers....but this is better

[HughMoran]

14. Love it! n/t

[burnsei sensei]

15. Pleased to be the 99th recommender of this

insightful joke.

[leeroysphitz]

16. WIN . n/t

[FailureToCommunicate]

17. Great! More! More! (Reminds me of the "Boy with the newborn -Republican- kittens" joke)

[valerief]

18. Good one! nt

[dotymed]

19. Unfortunately

This has become true of both parties. There is no plan to help the average person, just the corporations that keep us indentured. America has lost her way too.

[Silent3]

20. Mertzon, TX

Just in case anyone was curious where 31°14.97'N, 100°49.09'W really is. Not much water right there for a boat, but if you move east to 100°48.79'W you do hit a small river.

How's that for taking a joke with too much geeky literalism? :)

[Jackpine Radical]

21. I was actually going to look it up for the helluvit too.

Glad you saved me the bother.

[raouldukelives]

22. Good one!

[Rozlee]

23. Just e-mailed it the the Repub brother-in-law we all have in our families

Snippy, snippy. Got to score more political points. He said if it wasn't for capitalism, that Obama wants to take away, (he was watching Glenn Beck bloviate on Kapitalism a few days ago) we wouldn't have GPS systems. I looked it up and smugly told him that Ivan Getting, with the Department of Defense, had invented GPS at a cost of 12 billion taxpayer dollars. But, it's a great joke. Very appropriate.