Rahm's Parting Shot Foretold by My Dry Cleaner

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Mon Feb-22-10 10:15 AM
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Rahm's Parting Shot Foretold by My Dry Cleaner

Rahm's Parting Shot Foretold by My Dry Cleaner

by LarsThorwald

It looks Rahm Emanuel is done. My dry cleaner in Georgetown is the same place Rahm Emanuel goes to to get his shirts pressed, and he told me that he left a business card in one of the pockets of his Oxford button-downs that was from Dana Milbank, and on the back was written this note: "Eggs, brd, milk." Never has a note been more clearly written to signal the end, the veritable demise, of the vile, mouth-breathing Rahm Emanuel.

<...>

To confirm my suspicions, I consulted a small dish of water, which would provide me with visions of the truth. I just finished reading Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, so please undertand and believe me when I tell you I know what I am talking about. And then it all became clear! By knowing Rahm Emanuel, stealer of light, Milbank gets a cherished inside source so he can seem like he's got the scoop on what's happening in DC! Which--and you must admit this to be true--is completely unfathomable given the fact that Milbank is a political reporter! What business does he have knowing or speaking with Rahm Emanuel?! And conversely, by knowing Dana Milbank, Rahm Emanuel, defiler of all that is good, gets access to a reporter and columnist that very few Chiefs of Staff ever get. I mean, how many Chiefs-of-Staff do you know that just gets to talk to reporters and columnists? I mean, personally know? Exactly! And thus, as the irrefutable evidence disclosed by my dry cleaner reveals, Rahm Emanuel, thief of souls, gets a "hatchet man" that will literally write whatever he tells him to!

My second thought was, "Wow, I wonder if I should ask for light starch this time? My collar seems to be chafing me around the neckal region. Maybe if I go a mediium starch that would--oh, wait! What was that bit about 'Eggs, brd, milk'? That note by Rahm, destroyer of worlds, was odd, don't you think, self? The abbreviation of the word 'bread' is illuminating!. I read a thing one time in an article in Psychology Today, or maybe it was in a product description in SkyMall magazine, doesn't matter which, which I think said that people will abbreviate notes when they are busy! And if Rahm is busy, that must mean he's busy looking for a new job. That means you're already finished there, that note. 'Eggs, brd, milk'. That's what that means!"

<...>

And thus, indisputable evidence that I was right all along, and these guys were wrong. Maybe it's a last minute attempt at a Hail Mary to do something to counter something-something and to avoid something else. I'm not sure, I haven't had my coffee. Or maybe I should have gone with a light starch. But either way, the evidence is overpowering that Rahm Emanuel -- may the forces of darkness forever crap upon his head – means he thinks he is very close to being on his way out the door.

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