Confessions of a Military Wife

[babylonsister]

http://questionitnow.com/iraqb/

Confessions of a Military Wife

For the last 4 years i haven’t had a life of my own. i have no home, my husband has been gone, or going for 3.5 years. i’ve spent my birthdays, sean’s birthdays, our anniversary, christmas, thanksgiving, and every other holiday alone. i’ve put down two of my dogs alone. i’ve fixed cars, balanced the budget, packed the houses, stored our things, and driven or flown 100’s of thousands of miles.

NO one around me unless i am with the military peace movement has a clue about how i feel. NO one around me acts as if there is any part of this that affects them in any way. parties go on, shopping goes on, people think that don ho dying is a big deal. people think anna nicole smith dying is a big deal. people think foot ball, basketball and other stupid sports are a big deal. people think i should take anti depressants and anti anxiety pills. people think i should shut up and shop.

i am tired of worrying about my husband’s survival. i am tired of worrying about the fate of this nation in the hands of a madman. i am tired of being alone. i am tired of people who say they are against this war and do NOTHING about it. i am tired of fat ass politicians making pansy ass bills with nonbinding resolutions. i am tired of assholes without courage challenging mine, and supporting the war from the comfort of their armchairs and keyboards.

i want my husband back home, i want him and every other person with the courage to defend this nation home safe NOW, and the asshole liars responsible for the unnecessry death of our troops and the iraqi people HUNG for war crimes and treason and then buried with Saddam Hussein.

and then i want to sleep. next to my husband where i belong. and not wake up with fear in my heart and tears in my eyes.

[Swamp Rat]

1. k&r

[acmavm]

2. That's so sad. And the poor woman lonliness is so pitiful.

There are a lot of women like her.

And there will be for a long long time.

[blondeatlast]

29. And in this war, lots of husbands and children, too,

"Wake up, kids. I have something to tell you..." :cry:

[TwilightGardener]

3. Oh well. Get your husband to get out of the military--he IS a volunteer, you know.

Signed, another military wife.

[babylonsister]

4. Except there's this:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=389&topic_id=972391

[TwilightGardener]

8. Yep, I know that some were kept in service or called back (Stop-Loss), but the vast

majority are there because they are volunteers, and the vast majority also voted for the Chimp that put them in Iraq. My husband and I didn't, but we were apparently in the tiny minority. Even now, there is CONSTANT, knee-jerk and institutionalized Democrat-bashing at all levels within the military. It disgusts my husband, who keeps his mouth shut, because you can't speak against the commander-in-chief, and he also doesn't want to get political, especially with airmen under him--it's inappropriate. I am familiar with the life this lady describes, although I was fortunate in that my husband has mostly served in less dangerous areas of the Middle East. I would be terrified of him spending a long time in Iraq, but I SIGNED ON FOR IT. Because I am five years away from our pension, and I didn't go through all this shit for nothing.

[catrose]

14. It hasn't worked very well

for soldiers to say, "Hey, I didn't sign up for THIS!" You can't give 2 weeks notice and leave. Babylonsister, I hope he's home quickly--and safely--for good.

[No Passaran]

19. amazing

You must be AirForce. You and your husband probably haven't seen combat (I am glad and happy for you). You are probably an officer too so you have no idea what some of us enlisted go thru. I am going to Iraq for the third time only because I missed my PCS date by ONE WEEK. So yes, a lot of us are stop-lossed.

on edit: And having PTSD and taking 3 types of pills every day does not stop you from going to Iraq. Go figure.

[Hekate]

23. Interesting point about officers.I'm a civilian but once lived in a neighborhood full of enlisted...

...personnel and their families. Day in and day out I learned of their hardships at the bottom of the totem pole, and we weren't even at war at that time. Medical care (pediatrics, ob/gyn, etc.) and social services support were especially problematical. At least they had each other for company, because they were near a base that they just couldn't get housing on.

Then a former college roommate and her Navy officer hubby came through, and I heard her sound off about enlisted men's wives. My jaw about hit the table. She just didn't have a CLUE. It was a class issue, in spades.

As for the current situation -- nobody, but nobody, "volunteers" to be lied to and killed for those lies. The shame falls not on them but on all of us for that situation.

Hekate

[JPettus]

26. They hated me

When they called me back for their backdoor draft in 2004, I had a number of conservatives with me at Ft. Jackson. They wanted to support the Chimp and I took them all on, out of pure anger, and shredded each argument they threw. When they would say something stupid (and most of the freeper crowd can't help themselves) I called them on it each and every time and backed up my case with facts.

Anger went a long way to get me through that time. And I took that anger out on those idjits that supported Bush.

[JPettus]

25. And I'll give an AMEN to that

They called my ass back to active duty TEN YEARS after I had left. Did they need my skills? Were they the least bit concerned about what I could and could not do?

Nope, I was slotted for a "branch immaterial" slot to bring a unit up to full strength so the warcriminal-in-chief could send me to Iraq against my will.

When I took the early out in 1994 I was warned that I could be called back for a "national emergency." Not liking the sound of that, I asked what constituted a "national emergency." I was told it would be like armed troops coming ashore in Miami. No one ever told me that incompetent foreign policy by an unelected moron constituted a national emergency.

I ended up fortunate that an injury I had suffered playing basketball six months earlier kept me from being deployed. I feel for everyone over there and their families in the States. I know it's not easy. (I'm in Afghanistan now, of my own free will, as a civilian contractor. At least this way I have some say over where I go and what I do).

I hate these clowns in the White House. I don't believe chickenhawks should be allowed to exist. If you are a Republican supporter of the coward-in-chief, you need to put on a uniform, stand a post and do 3-4 tours like the volunteer Army that Chimpy is abusing.

And those are my Memorial Day thoughts on Bush and his incompetence. New Rules, indeed!

[truedelphi]

38. Your statement

"If you are a Republican supporter of the coward-in-chief, you need to put on a uniform, stand a post and do 3-4 tours like the volunteer Army that Chimpy is abusing."

I agree. Or if tht is too extreme - let's hike the tax rate up 10000 per cent for anyone who wants these wars. You beleieve in the war you get to pay for it.

Bet that would shut these people up.

[Solly Mack]

13. Who volunteered to go to a war based on lies and trumped up evidence?

If what was happening was legitimate I'd see your point, but there is nothing legitimate about what America is doing in Iraq.

Even the idiot soldiers that believed Bush's lies and enlisted after "911" - they don't deserve death for simply believing their government. It shouldn't be a death sentence to believe your government.

It should, however, be a lifetime jail sentence for the liars in government.

[maggiegault]

17. Oh, Military Wife, How Compassionate of You. Tell me, did my brother "volunteer" to be killed, too?

[Name removed]

24. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[urgk]

31. Hear, hear for Solon!

"No one who has relations with anyone who is in the military would be nearly as flippant as you are towards other military families. To be frank, I think you are full of shit."

I agree. Every, and I mean EVERY military wife is exactly the same. And every military wife in the country would (and should) react to every circumstance in exactly the same way. If you don't fit my mold of the military wife down the the millimeter, I cannot accept your veracity. Every cop's wife is the same as the others. Every cheerleader is the same as the others. Every pro athelete is the same. Every nerd is the same. Every dj is the same. Every advertising executive is the same. Every drug rep. is the same. Every artist is the same. Every librarian is the same. Every father is the same. Every criminal is the same. Every Senator is the same. Every journalist is the same. Every terrorist is the same. Every victim is the same.

Their lives are exactly like football games between a clear favorite and an underdog...they don't even have to play the game, because we have our numbers, we all know the outcome.

(wanders off to the sink to wash the sarcasm off his hands)

[Minimus]

30. Yes, volunteered to support and defend the Constitution of the US

against all enemies. Just how does this oath apply to the war in Iraq?


As a "military wife" you should know that you cannot just "get out of the military". I find it hard to believe that you, as a "military wife", lack any compassion.

[dogday]

5. This belongs on the greatest

The families of soldiers are suffering terribly.....

[williesgirl]

6. A well-deserved 5th rec. This is so true and heartbreaking.

[Uncle Joe]

7. Kicked and recommended

Thanks for the thread babylonsister.

[whistle]

9. A truly appropriate Memorial Day message...military families must be

....remembered also for their sacrifices, pain and suffering....thank you

[cpamomfromtexas]

10. You're so RIGHT! No one cares unless they're doing time too!

My husband just got home from a deployment, and I kid you not-- NO ONE gave a damn he was gone except our family.

I had only 1 person offer to assist in any way outside my family and he was prior military.

Because my mom had surgery I couldn't risk her being injured by my kids so I tried not to rely on her much, but she did have to come get them while I was in the emergency room.

Is it just me or was I the only one who wanted to stand in the street, pull my hair out and scream the F-word!

I tell you this, I don't make apologies for how I feel or how much I do now- I'm giving myself some slack for sure.

[Vidar]

11. Highly recommended.

[Hissyspit]

12. Three & a half years is fucking insane in modern times in the advanced society of the United States!

[northofdenali]

15. sister, as always, you've wrenched my heart -

caused my tears to flow, and made my commitment even stronger.

Thank you.

[maggiegault]

16. Proof That Bush And His Merry Rove of Rovian Criminals Do Not Care For Our Troops OR Their Families

Not one iota.

When my brother was killed, my sister-in-law, his widow, said just about the saddest thing in this whole horrible situation. She said, "I guess it won't be too bad, eventually. I'm used to missing Andy. I'm used to living a half-life while he is deployed."

[shance]

18. Bless her and her precious family. I'm so glad she shared with others

this pain she lives with every moment and lives it alone.

Thank you Tammara.

I hope your husband comes home very soon healthy and whole, and I hope all the men and women, girls and boys are home very soon as well.

And I hope justice is served sooner than later.

That's going to take more effort and contribution by all Americans I believe.

Take care in the meantime.

[HowHasItComeToThis]

20. If you control the MEDIA, you can pull off any obscenity you want

THE CORPORATE MEDIA IS THE ENEMY:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

[SoCalDem]

21. In another time, her plea would have resonated more, and politicians might have paid attention

BUT,..the insidious little "problem" we all have to live with is the so-called "all-volunteer" military..

It's very similar to the clever "embedded journalist" program that the government set up..

No matter how shitty things get, they can (and do) always use the fall-back position..
"Hey they did it voluntarily... and did you hear about the big sale at the Gap?"

The truth is that "they" did it because the military is more and more often the ONLY "job option" for many people, and during peacetime..with a normal president and a watchful congress, the military is not all that bad a life (I was an Air Force Brat all during my growing-up years).

The right almost takes perverse pleasure when anyone dares to question the war.. They love to taunt with "hey they did it voluntarily"..and then the plaster the SUV with another yellow ribbon, but most of them "choose" other options for their lives..

People with real choices, usually do not choose the military.. that's WHY we had a draft for so many years..

You offer an 18 yr old guy from a poor family, a 4-yr college scholarship or the Army..and whaddayahwannabet he will choose college?

Our "volunteer" service is great for the guys who want to hang around in the reserves and who want to join the guard (for some extra money every month..with little free time expended) and for the younger poor people who have few skills, but have a wife & a few kids..or are a single Mom or for the career (academy-types) who love the military life...but for most people it's a "job of last resort"..

[peacebaby3]

22. Good Lord this really hits home, doesn't it? I completely understand

what this military wife has to say.

I want to say a big thanks and "I feel your pain" to all of my fellow military wives and husbands!

[Jonathan50]

27. May your man return safe to you soon.. k&r

-Rudyard Kipling-

Tommy

I went into a public-'ouse to get a pint o'beer,
The publican 'e up an' sez, "We serve no red-coats here."
The girls be'ind the bar they laughed an' giggled fit to die,
I outs into the street again an' to myself sez I:

O it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, go away";
But it's ``Thank you, Mister Atkins,'' when the band begins to play,
The band begins to play, my boys, the band begins to play,
O it's ``Thank you, Mr. Atkins,'' when the band begins to play.

I went into a theatre as sober as could be,
They gave a drunk civilian room, but 'adn't none for me;
They sent me to the gallery or round the music-'alls,
But when it comes to fightin', Lord! they'll shove me in the stalls!

For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, wait outside";
But it's "Special train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide,
The troopship's on the tide, my boys, the troopship's on the tide,
O it's "Special train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide.

Yes, makin' mock o' uniforms that guard you while you sleep
Is cheaper than them uniforms, an' they're starvation cheap;
An' hustlin' drunken soldiers when they're goin' large a bit
Is five times better business than paradin' in full kit.

Then it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy how's yer soul?"
But it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll,
The drums begin to roll, my boys, the drums begin to roll,
O it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll.

We aren't no thin red 'eroes, nor we aren't no blackguards too,
But single men in barricks, most remarkable like you;
An' if sometimes our conduck isn't all your fancy paints:
Why, single men in barricks don't grow into plaster saints;

While it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, fall be'ind,"
But it's "Please to walk in front, sir," when there's trouble in the wind,
There's trouble in the wind, my boys, there's trouble in the wind,
O it's "Please to walk in front, sir," when there's trouble in the wind.

You talk o' better food for us, an' schools, an' fires an' all:
We'll wait for extry rations if you treat us rational.
Don't mess about the cook-room slops, but prove it to our face
The Widow's Uniform is not the soldier-man's disgrace.

For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Chuck him out, the brute!"
But it's "Saviour of 'is country," when the guns begin to shoot;
An' it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' anything you please;
But Tommy ain't a bloomin' fool - you bet that Tommy sees!





-Mark Knopfler-

Brothers in Arms

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5JkHBC5lDs

These mist covered mountains
Are a home now for me
But my home is the lowlands
And always will be
Some day you'll return to
Your valleys and your farms
And you'll no longer burn
To be brothers in arms

Through these fields of destruction
Baptisms of fire
Ive watched all your suffering
As the battles raged higher
And though they did hurt me so bad
In the fear and alarm
You did not desert me
My brothers in arms

Theres so many different worlds
So many different suns
And we have just one world
But we live in different ones

Now the suns gone to hell
And the moons riding high
Let me bid you farewell
Every man has to die
But its written in the starlight
And every line on your palm
We're fools to make war
On our brothers in arms

[bonito]

28. Who cares

Are the only ones that will bring change. Hello Congress... anybody there?... Hello?

[tomreedtoon]

32. You shouldn't have won "Bachelor: Officer and a Gentleman."

On salon.com, when I mentioned that the woman who ended up marrying that Navy officer would regret it, I got sooooo much flack... "She'll never have to live in roach-infested on-base housing. She'll never have to beg for food stamps or charity. He's a Navy doctor. He makes $100,000 a year!"

It was all lies, fostered by a joint project between ABC and the BFEE. I wish I could drag those idiots with old Tom Cruise movies running in their heads over here, to read this post by this lonely, tortured woman.

[GenDem]

33. I hope we as a country can collectively begin to pay attention

to the husbands, wives, sisters, brothers, and children that are being separated two and three times from their loved ones for longer and longer periods of time. Deployments that are becoming more dangerous and deadly.

Just found out that one of my student's father has been called up again. This guy is in the reserves and was called up and served over there once a couple years ago. He will be leaving his wife, brand new baby, and 8 year old again.

This is so wrong.

[Toots]

34. The husband that finally does return home will not be the same man as the one that went off to war.

There is a lot more heartache in store for this woman I am afraid...

[iamahaingttta]

35. Here's what I don't understand...

I certainly feel bad for those who's loved ones are caught in this meatgrinder.
They should never have been put there, and the people responsible for the lies that got them there should and will be held accountable.

However... I'm on the "they volunteered for this crap" side of the argument.

Doesn't everybody on the planet know that people in the military have ALWAYS gotten fucked over by the civilian commanders/king/emperor/etc.? Haven't the grunts in particular ALWAYS gotten the short end of the stick? Weren't there riots and marches on Washington after the Civil War and WW1 for soldiers to get back pay? The post-WW2 era, I believe, was an anomaly. The GI bill, etc, was all a great idea and the way our soldiers SHOULD be treated, but didn't we go back to fucking them over in Korea and Vietnam? Hasn't it been this way for THOUSANDS OF YEARS? for as long as groups of humans have been warring on each other? Why are we shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, at the treatment that our soldiers are now suffering at the hands of their own government? I don't know about you, but I certainy expected all of this, knowing that George W Bush was the president. I expected all of this the minute he took office. You mean there are people out there who didn't? What's wrong with you?

Sorry... but I think that anyone who has been paying ANY attention to ANYTHING that has happened in this country in the last 30 years or so should have known that the Bush Crime Family only cares about its own interests. I've known a number of suckers who joined the military after 9/11, and frankly I have no sympathy for their problems WHATSOEVER. People who joined during the Clinton years, I may feel a little differently about, except they have a choice too. If it's evil and you don't want to participate, then leave! True, you may suffer certain legal consequences, but would you rather kill innocent people and maybe be killed yourself? You make the choice.

I suppose my Memorial Day message is this: Remember, you got yourself into this mess by volunteering!

[alarimer]

36. I guess you are right BUT

Most people who "volunteer" may in fact be coerced into joined by 1) unethical recruiters who promise them all kinds of things and they don't deliver; and 2) they circumstances of their lives- they are too poor for college and not good enough to get scholarships, so they are forced into the military because of the alleged "educational benefits".

Now I am convinced that recruiters lie to fill their quotas and ensnare people who would otherwise not join.

Of course this does not explain the officer class, many of whom are like my brother-in-law (in the Air Force, fortunately in Illinois instead of the middle East) and buy into all the crap. I don't know why, he was college-educated; he should know better than to buy their lies. Hopefully he will spend his 20 years in Alaska predicting the weather or something but well out of harm's way.

[Texasgal]

40. My Grandpa raised a family

of SEVEN on a military paycheck.

Serving in the military is an honorable profession.

It really ticks me off when I read crap like " well, you should of known better" :puke: "it's voluntary" DUH! If you don't know that then something is WRONG. People sign up for various reasons, not because they are stupid as you suggest.

I love it when people such as yourself sit there typing on their precious computers yakking about how " just leave if you don't like it" ...

Yeah right me tell me O' great one... how does my 22 year old nephew just LEAVE Basra? Take a cab? Walk to Jordan? :eyes:

Your Memorial day message is an insult to ANYONE that ever served. You should be ashamed of yourself!

[iamahaingttta]

41. Serving in the military IS an honorable profession...

...IF you've got honorable leaders!
How many honorable leaders have there been throughout history?
A handful? For the most part, I think they're self-serving scumbags, and always have been. Maybe that's just me, however.
How many just wars have there been throughout history?
Is there such a thing? I suppose stopping Hitler was a just war, but as we now know (I've known this since the Iran-Contra days) our current president's grandfather helped finance Hitler.
How many times have our leaders lied to us and our wars been unjust?
Most of them?
When did your 22 year-old nephew join the military?
Does he WANT to be there?
If not, why did he join?
If he doesn't want to be there, does he ever get a leave?
If he does get a leave, why does he go back?
Why did he sign up in the first place?
Why should I be ashamed of myself, for pointing out TO ME what is clearly obvious and has been for all of my adult life?
I was not insulting the people in the military who do not want put into harm's way for a lie. I was insulting the people who put them in harm's way. And, I was insulting the people who are then SHOCKED that our leaders would put the military in harm's way based on lies. That's been happening for thousands of years. Hasn't it?

[Donkeykick]

37. I will betcha...

that there are plenty of others that feels the same way too. Just to frightened to admit it.:scared:

[sallyseven]

39. You should be able to.

This war is a joke. Wait until the Iraqi's find out they have to sign their oil away to the american oil cos.