MSNBC: HAMSTERS & VIAGRA, TRUCK ACCIDENT, PLANE IN DISTRESS!

[PCIntern]

They hit the trifecta today!

Plus the crying lady and her monkey.

I'm just exhausted...BTW, are we still in a war? Are gas prices approaching 4 bucks?

Hoo cares?

[RevCheesehead]

1. Ooh, I missed the Hamsters.

What did they do? Form a union for alternative energy resources?

[PCIntern]

5. Can't make this shit up:

They gave hamsters Viagra and they had less jet lag. WTF?

[RevCheesehead]

7. New movie sequal?

Hamsters on a Mutherf*@%ing Plane: The New Batch

[shain from kane]

9. Screwed until their eyes popped out?

[eleny]

2. Don't forget about the volcano eruption in Hawaii

[PCIntern]

3. Ooooh...Pretty, wasn't it...

Chris is just so...flirtatious today. She must be in love.

[Warren DeMontague]

4. Turn that crap OFF.

Cable "Newz" sucks. It's just a shiny, buzzing thing designed to keep people from thinking. Don't bother.

[PCIntern]

6. Don't you understand

I can't turn it off...I might miss...THE BIG ONE!

You know, the WTC type thingie.

[Warren DeMontague]

10. I lost it midway through the 2004 election cycle "coverage".

Probably when they decided that the tofu sandwiches in Dennis Kucinich's hotel room were "ooooh so weird" that they deserved 15 minutes of clucking, winking, smart-assed reporting.

It's crap. Turn it off and don't look back. Seriously, you'll thank me later.

[PCIntern]

13. I want to...

but...but I can't!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's why:

Norah...

[Warren DeMontague]

15. Nah. But if we had that French Anchor, I might change my mind.

And I'm not talking about Yasser Arafat.

[PCIntern]

18. WOWIE MAUI!!!!!! n/t

[shain from kane]

17. One woman on my list to impregnate.

[rec_report]

8. LOL! Great post! n/t

[RevCheesehead]

11. ALSO (and this is crucially important!):

I've learned what Freak Dancing is. :eyes:

[Warren DeMontague]

12. Well, you know, Teens TODAY are -gasp!- having sex before marriage.

Something must be done! :eyes:

[PCIntern]

14. Ya hear why the girls are not face-to-face while freak-dancing?

It's too 'personal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111


Just unbefuckinglievable.

[RevCheesehead]

22. Isn't that the same reason why dogs sniff each others' butts?

Oh, wait....

I guess not. :P

[shain from kane]

27. One mystery solved. Now, why do they scoot along the ground on their butts? Is that "The Limbo"?

[RevCheesehead]

28. I believe it's spelled "Limbaugh."

[shain from kane]

29. Got to have some relief when that anal cyst starts itching.

[flyarm]

16. THE CRYING MONKEY AND THE LADY ..I MEAN THE CRYI NG LADY AND THE MONKEY REALLY GOT TO ME!!

I WONDER WHY MSNBC DIDN'T RUN A FUND RAISERS FOR HER...she needs some 1000+$$ to save the moneky from euthenasia.....come on dig in your pockets folks..this is a big breaking news story!!

the monkey did kind of look blonde..but i don't know if the monkey was female or not...( must have been..i bet it was an aruba monkey!!) ..but ..and this will really get you in the heart..Tissue alert........the monkey watched the TODAY SHOW with the lady every morning!!..tissues everyone!!

blue light special... tissues on isle 4 ...

and the story line below the lady was...........drum roll please..

ILLEGAL RESIDENT...........

i am not shitting you!!


fly

[RevCheesehead]

20. Hey, if the monkey's an illegal resident,

doesn't s/he qualify for amnesty?

Someone call Lou Dobbs, quick!

[flyarm]

23. no kidding..illegal residency by monkeys will cost you $1000+$ to keep alive...

where the hell is Lou when ya need him...

this monkey is dangerous to our yard work!! AND BORDERS!!


lou lou lou..GET ON THIS STORY!!!!!!!!

FLY

[RevCheesehead]

24. Borders, Waldenbooks, AND Amazon.com!

F*$%ing Chimps. They're ruining Amurka. :grr:

[rec_report]

21. But, crying lady w. monkey told story of cops kicking 2-lb dog across...

her kitchen floor, for apparently no reason whatsoever.
To me, that screamed *lawsuit.*
Polar Bear

[shain from kane]

26. Everybody's got something to hide except me and my monkey.

[rec_report]

19. Oh, did they find the attractive little wealthy white girl from Belgium who went missing?

I hope she is found unharmed and is safe.
I am just making the point that certain human-interest stories rank high on MSNBC's priority list, but others don't.
Polar Bear

[MadBadger]

25. Have you actually been watching MSNBC?

Every day now for mulitple times a day they do a story on how today, the gas prices are at record highs. They talk about the war everyday too. But they Should Not talk about the war non-stop because though not as important, there are other news stories that they should cover.

[WolverineDG]

30. Their stories did not change all day

I am not kidding. I had MSNBC on from 8 am until 1:30. You could set your watch by the way they cycled through the stories, although the 2 truck accidents, one fire in NJ, the slow speed chase somewhere in suburban Colorado, and the Dulles plane engine dying stories would trip them up from time to time.

Only saw the crying monkey lady once, though. The only part about that story that gets me pissed is the officer kicking the 2 lb Maltese.

But other than that, the news has been :eyes:

dg