My favorite crazy perennial Presidential minor party candidate

[Recursion]

As use of the word "fascist" to describe Republicans grows increasingly common on this board, I am reminded of the guy who actually does run for President from America's only avowedly fascist party, the United Fascist Union: Jackson Grimes.



(That's a Roman army helmet he's wearing. In his official campaign photo.)

Paranoia Magazine ran an interview with him during the 2008 campaign. Some gems are below.

On economics:

To establish a new form of government in America based upon the economic theories of Benito Mussolini and Saddam Hussein and to create actual equality for all Americans. We believe you can spout all the platitudes you want and pretty sayings about racial equality, sexual equality, this kind of thing—but it doesn’t mean one damn thing unless you create economic equality. That’s why Bush and Clinton and all these other rich men have the common people by the short hairs. Because the common people are all living in bad little apartments that are rat infested and roach infested and broken down; yet, the wealth in this country is tied up by maybe 2-3% of the people. These old money families; they’re all the same mentality. You’ve got to break the system down and you’ve got to create economic equality for all people, and fascism is the tool to do that.

On the media:

Okay, one of the rules we got a lot of comment about says something about strict censorship of the press, and that actually means like an FCC to regulate the newspapers and make them play fair with the people. We used (the term) censorship in the same sense as the Romans used it, but the American people did not take it that way. But we were actually talking about something like the FCC that would regulate things and make the newspapers play fair with the people. This came out largely because newspapers have never been fair with me. I’ve been labeled as a Satanist, as a Nazi, as whatever. And you have no recourse. When they say freedom of speech they mean freedom of speech to do what they want to you. To do what they want with anybody. And what I’d like to see is an even playing field where the papers have to play fair with you.

On the rent is too damn high:

There's an idea I came up with called Universal Price Index, which would regulate everything across the board and you could use it to make America into one big roll back. I believe a newspaper quoted me as saying, which I never said until now. And by having Universal Price Index you could stop inflation, you could hinder the rapid spiraling out-of-control of money like it is in this country. A Universal Price Index would mean that if apartments were $350 in Elkton they would be the same in Baltimore, the same in Philly, the same everywhere in the Northeast region. I believe this could be done but it cannot be done under the capitalist economy because everything in a capitalist country is to make a profit.

I have this apartment but I share with these two girls and we each pay a portion of the rent. There’s no work in Cecil County. The work is in Baltimore. And how much does the average home go for here? Say this home across the street? This lawyer? To be honest with you I’ve thought of buying. I do not know if I’d want to buy in this country. That’s part of the reason we’re renting. Because I see the trends—the way it’s going in this country. Smoking bans, all kinds of legislation that’s designed to really screw the people, and I don’t think I’d like to stay in this country if I could possible leave it.

On religion:

I believe in the old Olympian gods. I believe they’re real. I believe in magic. I’ve practiced magic; what you would call magic. I believe our whole life’s a form of magic and I would be inclined to think that the Olympian gods are more real than these Christian gods. And unlike the Christians, we don’t have bigotry and hatred. We don’t hate those people, but they’ve often said “We hate you.” They’ll see our signs and call us devil worshipers. We have nothing against those people. We don’t worship the devil. The devil doesn’t even exist in our cosmology. Thank god!

No word if he's planning a 2012 run yet. Or if he's planning on addressing the redundancy of his party's name.

[Jack Rabbit]

1. So, I see he has practiced magic

We'll line him up with Christine O'Donnell, who has dabbled in witchcraft.

They should make quite a pair.

[Alexander]

2. He's got nothing on Lee L. Mercer Jr.