Hyperbole and a Half: Dogs Don't Understand Simple Concepts Like Moving

[Fumesucker]

I laughed until the tears were rolling down my face and I was gasping for air..

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/11/dogs-dont-understand-basic-concepts.html

Packing all of your belongings into a U-Haul and then transporting them across several states is nearly as stressful and futile as trying to run away from lava in swim fins.




I know this because my boyfriend Duncan and I moved from Montana to Oregon last month. But as harrowing as the move was for us, it was nothing compared to the confusion and insecurity our two dogs had to endure.

Our first dog is - to put it delicately - simple-minded. Our other dog is a neurotic German shepherd mix with agonizingly low self-esteem who has taken on the role of "helper dog" for our simple dog. Neither dog is well-equipped with coping mechanisms of any kind.

When we started packing, the helper dog knew immediately that something was going on. I could tell that she knew because she becomes extremely melodramatic when faced with even a trivial amount of uncertainty. She started following me everywhere, pausing every so often to flop to the ground in an exaggeratedly morose fashion - because maybe that would make me realize how selfish I was being by continuing to pack despite her obvious emotional discomfort.



Much more hilarity at the link..

[hlthe2b]

1. Amusing as this may be, I have intentionally tried not to make

a needed move from my residence because I could not bear to traumatize my aging and beloved girly dog. It even entered into some consideration for selling my old subaru, which had been her "traveling home" throughout her life. Dogs do remember. She continues to look for and has recognized from a half block away a dog she had "palled" with as puppies. I see her looking at similar little white dogs from a block away, wondering if that is "Jackson" but only when she becomes sure and the scent has confirmed do her ears slick back and she becomes like an excited little wriggling child. Likewise she remembers intently the park we spent so many days when she was in her first six months of life before moving to our current location and her long term home and adjacent park.

Even packing for trips, usually has me looking for a way to hide the activity from her--sometimes leaving her out in the car if the weather was cool while the activity progressed, to avoid the stress.

Yup, dogs like to experience "adventure," on occasion, but they likewise seek regularity.

[pipi_k]

2. Don't you just love her blog?

I get her updates on my Face Book page.

Like you, I always find myself laughing to the point of tears... :7

[smokey nj]

3. One of the funniest things I've read in a long time.

[uppityperson]

4. Oh. My God. I live with a simple dog, THANK YOU for sharing this.

Laughing tears here.

[nc4bo]

5. LMAO!! Thanks for the Sunday joy! nt

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[beam me up scottie]

6. Thank you for posting this, I sometimes forget how good it feels to laugh, I mean REALLY laugh.

I needed it - we recently moved all of our belongings including several house cats and two porch cats. The porch cats were amazing, they accepted and enjoyed their new digs almost immediately.

The house cats just keep rebooting.

[varelse]

7. Freekin' awesome

As someone who is on the implementation team for a new computer system at my company, I can tell you that some (most?) people don't cope with change a whole lot better than those dogs.

I laughed till I cried - and I think I may have pulled something :D

I'll definitely share this one with the rest of my team ;)

[tammywammy]

8. That's the funniest thing I've read in awhile

"We were beginning to think that our dogs were permanently broken. Nothing we did helped at all to convince the dogs that we had only changed houses and our new house was not, in fact, some sort of death-camp and we weren't actually planning on killing them to fulfill an organ harvest ritual. Despite our best efforts, they continued to drift around in a sea of confusion and terror, pausing only to look pitiful."

[surrealAmerican]

9. Very amusing.

"I made food: I'm magical!"

[Obamanaut]

10. We have dial up. It took forever. It was worth the wait. Thanks. nt