Bullying...

[nadinbrzezinski]

When in school I got it in spades. One fine day I stood up to one of the many assholes, and... After hurting his poor knee, after he kicked me...I was sent to the principal's for ahem starting it. Never mind there were witnesses to the contrary, including a school bus driver.

It got so bad that at one point I went were those kids went. I had a strong support so I never carried out those desires. But the strong thought crossed my mind. It took moving schools. And quite frankly, from what I hear things have just gotten worst.

Those who have fhe fantasy that standing up to bullies works, perhaps for you. Going to get an adult, unless it is your parents.

To this day I will not even acknowledge those folks in the streets. I actually had to treat one as a patient, and I remained professional. But it is time to start treating it like a crime, even if that means fhe football team goes to jail. No, not stereotype, many Jocks do that.

What will it take to stop this bs of kids will be kids?

[bluestateguy]

1. I have a friend who got suspended for fighting back

A middle school friend who was suspended for fighting back against a bully. The school had a bullshit zero tolerance policy and suspended my friend. His parents, knowing full well that he was just defending himself couldn't convince the school to change their mind. So the next day, his suspension day, my friend spent the day at a baseball game with his father (who took the day off).

He said it was all worth it and he would do it again, and he got a day off from school too!

[nadinbrzezinski]

3. I know

Apparently so was my school.

Hell it was me who was the problem because I got this treatment, not the perpetrators.

[elleng]

2. What will it take? Their bullying parents have to be forced

to recognize that society no longer condones this behavior, and the parents should be held accountable.

[nadinbrzezinski]

4. Both parents and children

If you are 16 and torture a classmate you are old enough. An eighth year old, not so much.

[elleng]

5. Yes. my premise was younger.

and torture, as distinct from bullying, is a crime. 8 year old and torture, something.

[Odin2005]

6. We must have bullies unrec'ing this thread!

I also suffered by being punished for standing up to bullies. Apparently students are not allowed to defend themselves because that is also "violence".

[nadinbrzezinski]

10. And I can honestly say it is not limited to the US

Not that it makes it better.

[Warpy]

7. A kid who fights back will be blamed

so it's always best to do it off school property.

Parents are useless. They just keep denying the problem exists or it's bad or that there's anything that can or should be done about it. Boys will be boys and children will be children oh look, DWTS is on.

So are most other adults. They just couldn't be bothered, they're afraid the bully's parents, often bullies themselves, will complain if their darling child is criticized in any way. Adults are terrified of adult bullies.

I don't have the problem of acknowledging those people on the street. I left that stinking town like I was shot out of a cannon and I'll never go back. Reunions? Oh, please. I never want to see those assholes again.

I would suggest, however, that we're getting to a critical stage with this stuff, and that someone is going to have to start to figure out what to do about these bullies of all ages if we're to have any sort of a country left.

[nadinbrzezinski]

9. The fact we have so much talks

Yes I think we're reaching critical mass.

And it was the school one reason to move me to another school.

It literally saved my life.

And reunions pleeze!

[vixengrl]

12. I hear that--I don't have much interest in seeing "How people turned out"

That I myself turned out anyway at all is the more interesting thing to me--the heck with them!

[dsc]

13. I went to my 20th and am glad I did

it exorcised a lot of demons for me.

[Dawson Leery]

17. Sounds familiar.

I know of such a person. They got nowhere with the administration, so they(parents) always voted against the school budget (most New England towns require a citizens vote for the municipal budget to pass)

[laughingliberal]

8. K & R nt

[vixengrl]

11. I tried to be above it when it was happening to me, but it wasn't easy.

I tried to tell myself that they were immature, that I knew bullies were insecure people themselves, that they'd get tired of the sport if I never played along, that it didn't fucking matter, that I was still me, and they couldn't touch that, that I wasn't giving them the satisfaction, that words didn't hurt, and I knew better than them, that they were the ones who were fucked up and not me, but it still hurt. When I got a death threat in a note passed to me, I ended up telling a teacher. The ringleader got sat down with a conselor, and things tapered off. I did it in as off-handed a way as I could, because I didn't want to be labeled a "snitch" because I thought that would make things worse.

It didn't in my case because I took it just that quietly. It was clear I wasn't in the wrong. But it nearly led to me failing a class I was good in that I just couldn't go to because I hated being near the people who were riding me. And I find I sometimes get a little angry even twenty-some years later. I still want to smash in faces. I still feel like something was stolen from my happiness--then.

I'm better now. I like to think I stole it back by still being me.

[nadinbrzezinski]

14. Oh I hear yah

Hell I even defended them when an injustice came.

But once a mark...

And yes they took something but they gave me something else. School library was the safe place. Been a reader ever since.

[vixengrl]

18. Funny--that's where I spent my lunches--in the school library

for a couple years in high school, because the assholes who didn't like me never would have gone there. Sure, it meant I wasn't really eating lunch. But on the other hand, I had a fortress of words. I became a poet. I contributed to the school magazine. I embraced my weirdness. And I think it helped me to be openly a lot of things I might not have been if I were popular. Once you have had your reputation drug to hell and back, you give less of a shit what people think of you. I was one whacky-ass teenager, out, slutty, irreligious, and protogothic. And yet I didn't do the thing 'til 18, and observed a lot of rules adults know and preach about booze and drugs. Maybe being bullied taught me circumspection in that regard. I dunno. But my mind was free. That was the righteous thing. I could think the unthinkable--because I no longer respected where respect came from. It was bullshit. It was a set-up. It was people who knew their own friends from forever and decided you were the wrong kind. It was lame, and I got over it once I understood it had nothing to do with me. In retrospect, did bullying make me tougher?

I still don't recommend it. I'll always say it's the lowest human denomenator at work and a bad deal. But I grew from that muzzle just a little. I just don't think it helps everyone.

[deaniac21]

15. Why do you capitalize jocks?

[nadinbrzezinski]

16. Sub group orr error

[jotsy]

19. It is worse than I remember during those years growing up in the 70's.

I got lucky though, lost my temper on a boy and did a bit of damage in a public setting just before starting high school. I think it discouraged a lot of people who might have wanted to pick on me, I'd been considered pretty much an outlander kind of dork up until then.

As a parent though, with my youngest at 13 and oldest at 29, all independent and free spirited, have had their bouts with kids who liked to mess with 'em. My little eighth grader is bearing the brunt of the bad stuff comparatively speaking, and it's odd b/c of my three, she's the most engagingly social. We've concentrated on one, her ability to defend herself, should it be required; two, trying to help her understand a bully's objective. The bottom line is bringing negativity, and whether or not that's a thing proper to take pride in. Envy is always involved, when she understood that no matter how much harm someone could bring her, it would never serve to make her want to be like them it seemed to empower her some. Things are quiet now, but my guard is always up.

As for the increase in the harsh of it? A couple of things, first, each generation is looking to 'push the envelope' on a variety of levels. The other factor for me is about perceptions among the public that accountability is addressed selective, and most bullies I've encountered believe they should get to be the exception.

I wish I could say I think it's gonna get better; and it will. Probably gonna get a little more worse first.

[undergroundpanther]

20. I despise bullies

So if a bully acts like an asshole I'll kick that asshole as many times and as hard as it takes the bully to leave people ALONE.

If everyone was INTOLERANT and hostile to bullies,there would be NO MORE BULLIES.
Why? Because bullies are chickenshit,they try to build a bully lovin' posse of fellow chickenshits,if the bully is targeted from the minute he starts shit,the bullies posse will think twice,if you are serious about not letting a bully get away with anything,the bullies posse if their leader is getting an ass kicking,won't stand up for the bully,because cowards don't stand up for anyone.But all it takes is one bystander to say that's it..and attack the bully,and most the time that's it.I have been blamed by a bully playing victim,I just had to refine my tactics.