Tomorrow is ChickMagic's birthday...

[derby378]

...and right now, I'm missing her something fierce.

I've had a few more crying fits than usual, despite thinking that I've been able to move on with my grieving process. But yesterday I participated in a 5K walk/run for ovarian cancer survivors in her memory - Ginny was a 25-year survivor of stage IV. I carried her picture with me for the entire course. I think Ginny would have been happy with the outpouring of support and love from so many at the run who didn't even know who she was. The organizers even gave me a survivor's shirt to wear on her behalf.

There are still some legal matters to settle, and my attorney has been very patient in helping me with the whole process. Hopefully I can get that finalized in a couple of days so that I can move on a little further. Right now, everything is up in the air, and I think the uncertainty of my current situation is getting to me.

At this time, Ginny and I were supposed to be working for our Democratic candidates, hitting the phone banks, maybe knocking on some doors, and getting ready to staff the election site once again. As a team. Wife and husband, working together. And even though I made it to the state convention on my own, the lingering effects of Ginny's passing and my unemployment have taken the wind out of my sails.

So, tomorrow I begin the process of lifting myself up. Finding work. Talking to a counselor. Getting my own affairs in order. Depending on how things play out, I may even have to find a new home. I hope not, but like I said earlier, it's all up in the air.

Please bear with me, folks - it's still going to be a bumpy ride.

[Mnemosyne]

1. She is always in your heart and would be so proud of the grace

you have shown through your pain. :hug:

I miss my Mom every day...

[derby378]

2. I hope so...

We loved each other very much. My mother told me about how Ginny would constantly speak in loving terms about me whenever they talked, even on those occasions when we were having difficulties with each other. I didn't deserve such a wonderful woman, but I'm so glad she chose to spend her life with me.

[Mnemosyne]

7. What a true blessing to have had time with such a love.

I lost a love, in 1985, to suicide. It took years for the pain to subside at all.

I found my sweetest love last year after 32 years apart (we'd been only friends then), in our 50's now and hoping for as many years as we can be blessed with.

Hang in there, the pain does dim a bit after awhile. :hug:

[Arctic Dave]

3. Lean on me, when you're not strong...

DU loves you.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

4. My dear derby378...

Oh, my heart goes out to you...

I have not yet lost my husband, so I can only imagine what you must be feeling...

She will always be in your heart, always...

We have no problem bearing with you...we stand beside you...we've got your back...

Even though it feels as though there will be no end to your grief, it will decrease, and your joyful memories will take over.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[derby378]

5. I appreciate that

I just wish more of you could have met her in person.

:hug:

[madmax]

6. We're here for you all the way, derby

:grouphug: