I hate bullies

[Taverner]

I really do.

I hate bullies like Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Dick Cheney, Hannity, Palin and that Brody guy. Ones who shout you down, twist your arm and make you cry uncle.

However, bullies seem to run things to some extent. IN the business world, being a bully will make you a kind of rock star in sales. IN politics, it makes you a strong hawk.

But in my mind, it makes one not worth the oxygen the breathe.

The old adage is 'leave bullies alone and ignore them' but this NEVER works. Its just a line schoolyard monitors give so that nothing bad happens on their watch.

The best way to deal with bullies is to hit them back. Hit hard and furiously. Don't fight fair and don't let them get in a single punch. Then ignore them.

[Al Claybon]

1. The ONLY way to deal with bullies is to eliminate them.

Bullies cannot be taught not to abuse others. The only solution is to remove them from the situation so that they cannot hurt anyone.

Placating them only emboldens them to continue, and escalate, their attacks.

That is a basic lesson the Democratic Party has never learned. That, of course, assumes that they want to learn.

[whathehell]

3. Um...What do you mean "eliminate" them?

Sounds a little, oh..I don't know, illegal?.:eyes:

[Wednesdays]

5. Send 'em to jail, where they belong?

:shrug:

[whathehell]

11. A question of legality. n/t

[Zavulon]

26. Good idea.

We'll send Limpballs, Hannity and their ilk to jail, trusting that when Republicans are in power they won't abuse THEIR authority just because we abused ours.

[Al Claybon]

6. Just what I said - "remove them from the situation so that they cannot hurt anyone" - by any means

necessary.

For bullies in schools - permanent removal from the school.

For bullies in politics - permanent removal from the seat of power.

One can debate the exact technique - but the lesson has to be that they must be confronted by a force at least equal to their own, or they will not stop.

If they cannot be persuaded by words, sanctions of some sort must be applied. The severity of those sanctions is completely dependent upon how determined they are to continue their bullying.

The father who defended his daughter from the bullies on the school bus springs to mind.

He had tried "going through channels" with no success. What was he left with - a choice among (a) abandoning his daughter to the abuse, (b) removing her from the situation, or (c) letting the little shits know that their abuse would no longer be tolerated.

He may have been too strident for some, but I applaud his defense of his daughter.

[whathehell]

9. "by any means necessary" changes the dialogue.

I would hope you're not suggesting murder.

[Taverner]

13. Although, murder does work

Granted, there are a lot of consequences - jail, retribution and possibly execution

And you might just learn that the bully you killed was loved by his mother...


But details, details, details

[whathehell]

14. Oh boy...

:eyes:

[Taverner]

17. Hey - I never meant it should be the only option...

...or even a viable option.

Just stating the facts.

It probably should not be an option - especially since I am against any kind of death penalty

But just saying that it *does* work

[whathehell]

20. Glad to hear that...

I do think it's "workability" was a given.:eyes:

[JuniperLea]

2. Worked for Ralphie with Scut Farkus

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4pmUNQE7llI/SUf_WosugYI/AAAAAAAAFno/cuV3cuXvCTo/s400/Scut+Farkus+and+Grover+Dill.jpg

[whathehell]

4. I tend to agree..At least with the "hit back" approach...I've

stood up to a few bullies in my time, and I agree..It's much better to "ignore" them later!

[jobycom]

7. That works in movies, not in real life so much.

In movies bullies are always secret cowards easily defeated by one tiny man standing up to them. In real life they don't back down, and if you beat them up they make it their life's goal to crush you.

Some people get so hell-bent on standing up to bullies that they become the bullies themselves. That's what America does. We want to stop a bully like Usama bin Laden, so we vaporize half the Middle East just for being close to him. I meet people like that all the time, on the Internet and in real life. They are so afraid that someone is going to bully them that at the first sign of conflict they come after you everything. They are the bullies, and don't recognize that.

More often than we realize, the person we see as a bully is simply someone doing the same thing we are doing but for the other side, however you define side. So going after them instead of using diplomacy just turns us into a bully.

There are real bullies who go after people just to hurt them, because they enjoy the power and the pain. Sometimes you can smash them down, but usually they just enjoy that. I had a brother like that. Nothing would have stopped him--you beat him down, he sneaks up behind you with a gun or drops something in your drink when you aren't looking. He liked being beaten down, because it gave him more authority to go after the beater.

Other than that, the best way to handle a bully is to talk to them. I never backed down from a fight, and I almost never got in a fight. I usually talked it down, and often wound up becoming friends with the person. I was famous for it--I'd go to a bar and get threatened by the meanest, toughest guy in the place, and we'd "step outside," and everyone would moan and tremble at my impending demise. And then we'd walk back in laughing, and things would be cool. Happened more than you'd think.

I had to fight a couple of times. Usually lost. Once I threw a guy into a barbed war fence. I didn't fight, I just did what I could to end the threat. Hit a guy with a garbage can lid once--we became good friends all through high school after that.

There are few real bullies. Most of the time we just see someone who handles things differently than us, and we assume they are a bully. When we attack first, we become the bully. "Han shot first!" is hilarious as a movie reference. In real life it's murder.

[merqz]

10. My experience differs

At least when it comes to grade school and high school bullies, the ONLY thing I ever saw work was to hit back. And yes, it worked.

With rhetorical bullies, the only thing that works is to counter bad speech with good speech.

[Taverner]

12. Hitting back works

Granted, your hit has to hurt

And yes, you may have just made someone try to destroy you

[jobycom]

30. Probably means they thought you were the bully.

That's usually how it is. Bullies often feel like the other guy is the bully. They hit, you hit, and the world has two more bullies.

Diplomacy is the only thing that ever changed a bully into something else.

[awoke_in_2003]

18. That has been my experience...

I have dealt with 4 bullies- two backed down, two didn't. The "didn'ts" weren't a lot of fun :)

[Taitertots]

24. The voice of reason

So many wanna be tough guys looking for someone bullying them so they can start a fight with them.

When the real victims of bullying are unable to fight back. When people tell them to start a fight with a bully it is the stupidest advice. It is sure to cause only one thing to happen, getting beaten up.

[felix_numinous]

8. Bullies want you to play their game of dominance

and hitting them back is playing their game-unless you follow up immediately by changing the rules and assuring there will be consequences to their criminal behavior. Laws of the land, as I see it, are created for sociopaths who cannot govern themselves. Without enforcing the laws against theft and violence, we are all not free but enslaved by bullies.

The trick is to change the paradigm and not get caught in the cycle of violence that will merely change the guard of bullies. Right now that sounds like a miracle.

[G_j]

19. good insight

it's all about breaking the cycle, changing the paradigm,
which is, no doubt, impossible, due to the fact that as a culture, we have not even begun to recognize the existence of cycles or paradigms.

[felix_numinous]

22. Cultural progress happens slowly

teaching children, practicing good conflict resolution skills, this takes time.

Unfortunately I think cultural decline into violence and idiocy does not take as long as it takes to heal it. :)

[socialist_n_TN]

15. I hate bullies too. It's one of my flash points...............

I stood up to bullies before I knew how to fight and I'll CERTAINLY do it now that I've had 3 decades of training in physical confrontation. That said, when you've got a lot of training you DO have to change the paradigm.

If it's an immediate threat, you defend yourself or others. If it's bullying talk that involves threats, you report it to the cops, even swear out a warrant. YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE IT ON RECORD THAT YOU'VE BEEN THREATENED. At that point, if you have to act, you have SOME cover.

Also you have to know how to be appropriate in your response. I've told students before that you don't break some drunk's neck because he called your GF a whore. I believe in self defense, but it's got to be appropriate to the situation. If it's verbal, respond verbally. If it's physical, respond physically, but with the appropriate amount of force. If somebody's trying to kill you, you have the right to use deadly force. Appropriateness.

All that said, I will stand up to bullies. If you don't, you're just enabling their bad actions.

[opihimoimoi]

16. Bullies in our Pol System is KILLING US...and ROBBING US TOO

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Field

all about BULLIES ands what they do

Family, work place, politics, etc

awespme link

[Eric Condon]

21. Some bullies need to get dealt with Bobby Hill style

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bobby_Goes_Nuts

[Roon]

23. When I was in middle school, I was hassled and bullied by a gang of girls

Every day, all day, in between classes, these girls would not leave me alone. Then one day they were following me down the hall and taunting me. Then their "leader" tried to push and trip me. I snapped, turned around, grabbed the girl's hair, and uppercutted her in the face a few times.

This girl had a gangster boyfriend and I really thought I was toast.The other girls told me to wait until her boyfriend finds out what i did.

Nothing ever came of it..the boyfriend never approached me and the girl gang left me alone and never bothered me again for the rest of the year.

I know I shouldn't hit girls, but this was a special case. They targeted me because I was fat and wore hearing aids. I put an end to it though. :-)

[LWolf]

25. Hate and fear are the tools of bullies. nt

[LaurenG]

27. We will always have bullies

as soon as one matures and grows up another takes its place. Don't waste your energy hating them, they're just lost or paid off people needing a reason to exist. Pathetic really.

[lunatica]

28. I have found the best way to deal with bullies is to expose them as such or just walk away

Bullies like to be sneaky and underhanded. When they're young they may be more overt, but as they learn their ways will get them in trouble they becomes stealthy. Instead of beating up on others they'll spread slanderous lies to get people fired or they'll be verbally abusive or accuse employees of making mistakes they don't make. In jobs they kiss up and kick down. Part of kissing up to the boss is to talk trash about other employees and take credit for the work of other employees. They either fool the boss if he/she is a good person into believing their lies or if the boss is a bully also, they find a comrade so they can gang up on whoever their next mark is. The next mark is usually someone who does their job professionally which could make the bullies look bad.

Confronting the bullies in front of others will usually make them back off. Standing up to them at all times helps, but they usually just go after someone else who they think is an easier mark. Then you find yourself defending the other victim. Bullies just don't stop. They move on maybe, but they never stop.

[revolution breeze]

29. You can't ignore them,

You have to be smarter, quicker. From Sun Tzu's The Art of War "Know thy self, know thy enemy".