1 in 5 urban gay men with HIV? Does this mean

[pnwmom]

they aren't practicing safe sex? Or that safe sex isn't as effective as it's supposed to be?

http://www.salon.com/life/aids/index.html?story=/news/feature/2010/09/23/us_med_aids_urban_gays

A government study found one in five sexually active gay and bisexual men is infected with HIV, and nearly half of those infected don't know they have the disease.

The study is considered the largest to look at urban gay and bisexual men at high risk for HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. More than 8,000 men in 21 U.S. cities were tested and interviewed.

[MrScorpio]

1. I think that more people are living with HIV and safe sex isn't being practiced as much as it should

It's a crap shoot all the way around.

[Cronus Protagonist]

2. There's a dynamic in the system that accounts for that

Guy meets guy.
Both get tested.
Both show up negative.
Both fuck each other without condoms (neg tests give "permission" for unsafe sex)
One cheats and is afraid to tell the other, and continues unsafe sex as it would reveal the infidelity to change the sex practices.
Both wind up HIV+

Lather, rinse, repeat.

I know this because I've experienced the demand to get tested so we can fuck unprotected. And several close friends are having sex without condoms, having received recent neg tests. And many have seroconverted in this manner. Today, gay men, in general, are having more unprotected sex than a decade ago.

[pnwmom]

3. That dynamic is understandable -- tragic, but understandable.

And I guess the other factor is that there are better treatments for HIV now, so people are less worried about it.

Still . . . .

[w8liftinglady]

4. I agree-when I was caring for AIDS patients in the early 90's there was a huge

protected-sex endorsement...free condoms sponsored by area gay and healthcare organizations.
it was very effective in the gay community.The IV drug abuse community-not so much.
The advertisement for this has pretty much disappeared...on to something more profitable,I guess.




2

[paulflorez]

9. Nothing wrong with using a condom in monogamous relationship.

There is a stigma attached to using a condom in monogamous relationship. A "you don't love me" or "you don't trust me" guilt.

Fight that stigma. There are more reasons besides cheating to wear a condom in a committed relationship. For straight people it reduces chance of pregnancy. For anal sex it reduces chance of infections.

Couples also need to talk about situations such as cheating and what to do. Agree to try to avoid snap judgments. Agree to see a counselor immediately if it happens. Recognize that "if you cheat and don't tell me, you could expose me to an STD and that will put an extreme amount of stress on an already fragile relationship".

[Cronus Protagonist]

11. I prefer condoms, myself

Gives more options, protects against more than HIV and let's face it, clean up is easier. Also, I have direct experience of several people who seroconverted while in a "monogamous" relationship that it's clearly foolhardy to believe that your partner can't be persuaded to do something you both will regret later. And that's not just HIV I'm talking about.

[Roon]

23. That, and also

aids is no longer an automatic death sentence and people are becoming lax.

[paulflorez]

5. Common sense...

Don't have UNPROTECTED sex until you are in a committed MONOGAMOUS relationship for 6 months and both of you have tested as negative.

If you are going to have unprotected sex outside of a monogamous relationship:
Use protection during anal sex!
Use protection during oral sex! (does anyone even bother to do this?)
Don't mix fluids, don't swallow!
Don't use drugs or drink (impairs judgement).

Better yet, wait until you are in a monogamous relationship with someone you trust and you've confirmed you are both STD free! You can't get HIV from someone who does not have it!!!

And educate, educate, educate! Promote this message like crazy and combat the message that frivolous, risky sex is fun and acceptable! Young people especially need to hear this!

[Cronus Protagonist]

12. That common sense is what is causing the high rate of seroconversions

"Don't have UNPROTECTED sex until you are in a committed MONOGAMOUS relationship for 6 months and both of you have tested as negative."

It's a fallacy. In this day and age, one must always use condoms. Period. One ought not to be laying their life on the line by trusting someone else. We must take personal responsibility and protect ourselves such that a partner's infidelity cannot threaten our own health. That advice goes out to everyone, straight or gay, young or old.

It's not about trusting the other person with your health, it's about being personally responsible for your OWN health.

[pnwmom]

18. That's what I've told my young adult children.

It's the best advice for everyone. . . . unless you're trying to get pregnant!

[pnwmom]

17. Unfortunately, you can get HIV from someone who tested negative

a month ago -- and afterwards has unprotected sex with someone else. Two people confirming they're STD free only works if both are completely trustworthy and monogamous.

[FreeState]

20. A little more education is good - there are several mistakes in your list

If you are going to have unprotected sex outside of a monogamous relationship: Use protection during anal sex!

Agree - not only that don't have sex outside your primary relationship if your not comfortable telling your partner. Communication can save your life.

Use protection during oral sex! (does anyone even bother to do this?)

There is very little chance of getting HIV from oral sex. If you don't have a cut in your mouth (flossing, cold sores etc) your chances are extremely slim (I think the documented cases where this cause HIV transmission is countable on one hand). The risk of dying in a car accident is 1 in 4,000 - getting HIV from oral sex is estimated at 1 in 10,000. (see: http://www.medhelp.org/posts/HIV-Prevention/Oral-sex-and-duration-of-contact/show/255592)

Don't mix fluids, don't swallow!

HIV can't survive the digestive fluids that are in your throat or stomach.

Don't use drugs or drink (impairs judgement).

I'd say don't use drugs or alcohol in an environment where you are uncomfortable or plan ahead. Its unrealistic to tell people not to drink or not to have sex.


All that being said - remember HIV is not the only STD you can get from oral sex.

[stray cat]

6. Safe sex just means you think you are safe

[taught_me_patience]

16. What do you mean by that?

Condoms are 100% safe against HIV if used correctly and don't break. You can catch other diseases but they are SAFE against HIV.

[racaulk]

7. I think there are other factors involved.

Certainly gay and bisexual men are becoming more complacent because, with advances in research and the search for a cure becoming more promising, HIV isn't seen as a death sentence as it once was.

Also, education is a key factor. Safe sex programs certainly are not as supported as they should be, especially when abstinence-only advocates try to dominate the conversation and elimate the discussion of any alternatives for safe sex and means of protection.

Poverty and homophobia certainly have played a role in increasing infection rates as well.

[Obamanaut]

8. Just because it is not the death sentence that it once was does not

grant permission to share it with someone who may well be disease-free.

This is true for any/all STDs, not limited to HIV.

[racaulk]

10. Very true.

:hi:

[cyr330]

13. Not practicing safe sex

I live in San Francisco, and the young guys who didn't see AIDS up front when it was killing everybody just think it's a manageable, chronic condition that's "no big deal." Of course, that's not everybody, but I have seen some really prevalent attitudes around here to that effect.

[pnwmom]

19. I've been afraid that was part of what is going on.

People who don't remember what it was like in the late 70's and all through the 80's.

[PufPuf23]

14. A moral sexually active person is aware of their HIV and STD

status and deserves reciprocal treatment. Caution until the relationship is monogomous and has lasted for more than 6 months is indicated.

I am heterosexual and my life, alas, has been serial monogomy rather than a lasting relationship.

However, I have gay friends that have had HIV for 20 years that have unprotected sex and use needles (I have never used needles nor a needle drug) but these are friends from elementary school. They seem to think that the drugs that prolong their life and sticking to fellow HIV travelers is OK.

My home town -- live there now but have spent 65% of life away -- has about 600 people. The most lasting relationship is between a American Indian and a scion of a logging family that got together in the late 1950s; they left here circa 1980 (I did earlier but returned for keeps in 2002-3). What was strange was that the ladies of my grandmother's church and card club (the Indian's mother and grandmother were members of the circle, the Dad one of the last 4 veterans of the local CCC camp of the 30s to pass on) accepted what they called "the boys" as did local timber industry "rednecks" in the 10+ years both worked at the veneer and stud mill back in the 60s and 70s. When the mill closed in 1973, one of the couple was the head of the local CETA program and the other a program boss. Never was there any predjudice by locals and to this day they have not offically come out nor participated in the gay scene but one has a thriving business of many years (on a offramp to Interstate 5) and a long term county job in another rural county.

[pnwmom]

21. I think the town as you describe it was operating on the DADT principle.

I wonder if the couple would have been as accepted if they were more outspoken about their relationship.

[PufPuf23]

22. The older women refered to them as the "boys" chuckle chuckle

They were an obvious couple but some thing similar to DADT may have been a factor.

They had good reputations in an unusual small community that still generations in depth.

[Stinky The Clown]

15. Younger gay men are less inclined/aware/afraid than older gay men.

Most of my gay friends are of my generation - old farts. We've spoken about this very phenomenon for years. When AIDS first hit, it was a SLEDGEHAMMER and people were very damned aware, afraid, and inclined to protect themselves. The same, actually, was true for heteros.

Not so much anymore.

[Stevenmarc]

24. It means the drug companies are winning

Look in any gay magazine at the drug ads and what's the message, some buff hunk rock climbing singing the praise of the drug company that's keeping him hot and healthy.

A new generation has seen a whole different face on HIV than we did in the 80's

[pnwmom]

25. Ugh. n/t