please review my latest ltte re: poverty before I publish...

[w8liftinglady]

especially for spelling,sentence structure and facts..thanks as always

As we have our little banter about politics,a real crisis is entrenching Texas. This tragedy didn't happen overnight,but is worsening as we turn our heads and ignore. It effects almost all walks of life,all races,all faiths. Yet we continue to praise the cause and ignore the cure.

Poverty in Texas has risen substantially between 2000 and 2009. The population living below the poverty level in 2000 was 14.9 percent ,or 3.4 million Texans. In 2009,it was 17.9 percent,or 5.2 million Texans. This number would have risen substantially had it not been for the large infusion of money from the Federal Government. For a family of four,the poverty level is approximately $21,000/year.
http://www.statehealthfacts.org/profileind.jsp?ind=14&cat=1&rgn=45

Unemployment in Texas has risen from 4 percent in 2000 to 8.9 percent in January 2010. That is the highest it has been since the oil field bust in 1984. Underemployment,or workers who have taken a cut in hours/pay due to economic reasons , has risen from 10.0 percent in 2000 to 17.9 percent in 2009. The areas that have seen the largest drops have been construction,manufacturing and trade,transport and utility companies.
http://www.cppp.org/files/8/423_SOWT.pdf

Texas,unfortunately,leads the nation in residents without health insurance. In 2000,we had 20 percent of the population between 18 and 64 with no health insurance. The last information available is from 2007. At that time,5.7 million Texans between 18 and 64 years of age had no health insurance.
http://www.census.gov/did/www/sahie/index.html
1.3 million residents under the age of 18 had no health insurance. That number would have been significantly larger,but 522,000 children are enrolled in CHIP.
http://www.hhsc.state.tx.us/research/CHIP/ChipRenewStatewide.html

Despite all these facts,Texas politicians continue to support policies that have accelerated these tragedies. They have supported tax breaks for the top 2 percent of citizens,despite two wars and increased poverty. They have fought against expanded health care for all Americans despite the support of over 70 percent of Americans and 14,000 physicians. They have supported exportation of American jobs and industry,despite the effects it has had at home.

We can choose to turn our heads and pretend this doesn't exist. We can keep the same destructive policies that are escalating this yearly. After 10 years,you would think our politicians would have acknowledged these destructive policies. Maybe it is time for Texans to consider some new representation. It isn't too late... yet.

[suston96]

1. Good writing. Two spaces after a period. nt

[w8liftinglady]

2. Thanks...done.

[Contrary1]

3. Extra space after commas?

Getting too old here... :)

[w8liftinglady]

4. LOL...obviously-I need the help.

[Contrary1]

5. No...I meant that *I* was getting too old to remember my grammar school lessons.

:hi:

[w8liftinglady]

6. hehe-change that to "we" and I'll agree.

[Greyhound]

19. Not since typewriter ribbons were widely used. n/t

[RKP5637]

7. It looks good to me when the changes are added... n/t

[bobbolink]

8. All I see is the need for space after commas.

I really like the format you have used with this. Rather brief info, with link to further depth.

That is very effective with people who aren't familiar with the information.

Very good, and I thank you profusely for taking this on!

:applause: :yourock:

[w8liftinglady]

9. thank you...I have corrected things on my rough draft

[bobbolink]

10. Great!

So, are you now available for correcting *my* rought draft?

:rofl:

Again, it means so much to me to see you taking up this issue! :pals:

[w8liftinglady]

13. lol...I'll leave the "draft correcting" to you.I'll take care of the medical stuff...

[pinboy3niner]

11. Another excellent letter, w8liftinglady!

Thanks for your courage and persistence. :thumbsup:

[w8liftinglady]

12. Thanks,bro-barton ought to love this one...

[bobbolink]

14. One nit....

Second paragraph:

"Poverty in Texas has risen substantially between 2000 and 2009. The population living below the poverty level in 2000 was 14.9 percent ,or 3.4 million Texans. In 2009,it was 17.9 percent,or 5.2 million Texans. This number would have risen substantially had it not been for the large infusion of money from the Federal Government."

It could be because this is morning and I don't do mornings, but that second "substantially" doesn't seem to me to be exactly the word. If I am reading it correctly, the rate would have increased...is that correct?

If so, maybe a word meaning "more" or "increased" would be a good choice?

Or maybe not... maybe its my new glasses that aren't working... :)

Still, as I said, that is a nit, and this is very well done! :yourock:

[w8liftinglady]

16. yeah-I saw that,too..I changed to

"This number would have risen higher had it not been for the large infusion of money from the Federal Government. "

[bobbolink]

17. Very good. Pretend I didn't say anything, because it is really good, and you were waay ahead of us.

:)

[billlll]

15. Love it!

Edits

Readers r impatient

Begin with the paragraph about tax breaks. Cancel all before.. That is well known. Then in the rest,

Trim any excess words.
Editors favor short letters.
Overall, excellent

You have impressive stature as a human being.

[w8liftinglady]

18. Thank you!I'm lucky the editor loves "meaty" letters...it sells papers...

[Greyhound]

20. "...a real crisis is entrenching Texas." I don't think entrenching is the right word,

but then I may not get exactly what you're saying.

[w8liftinglady]

21. yeah-I have trouble with that sometimes-this is the definition I used

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/entrenched

entrenched - established firmly and securely; "the entrenched power of the nobility"
constituted, established - brought about or set up or accepted; especially long established; "the established social order"; "distrust the constituted authority"; "a team established as a member of a major league"; "enjoyed his prestige as an established writer"; "an established precedent"; "the established Church"

[Greyhound]

22. Perhaps "is entrenched" would work better?

ETA; I didn't say what a good piece this is. It is and I'm sorry.

[w8liftinglady]

23. I appreciate the input-the message is hidden if the grammer is poor...