Would McCain have been elected President if he had had ...

[Boojatta]

a bionic penis and conscious control over switching between firing semen and firing armor-piercing bullets?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. Absolutely. Why even ask?

[alittlelark]

2. I want some of what you're smoking!

seriously!

[ladywnch]

6. just what I was thinking! eom!

[Contrary1]

3. Well that...and the Palin thing. n/t

[rug]

4. If he has a penis it must be bionic.

[Bitwit1234]

5. Because he didn't have one

could that be what set Palin off.

[thelordofhell]

7. He never would have been a P.O.W.

What else could he run on?

[Boojatta]

8. What do sperm banks run on?

Sperm! They offer money, so he could donate sperm and then redirect the money to worthy causes, such as development of a truth serum to be used to discover what newspapers Sarah Palin reads. "All of them" just doesn't sound very persuasive.

[Boojatta]

9. You might have heard of blood serum levels and sperm counts ...

but have you heard of bullet-proof condoms or serum truthiness levels?

[Fumesucker]

10. You brighten my often depressing day with regularity..

Thanks, I got a good laugh out of that..

[Boojatta]

13. Thank you!

:fistbump:

When you bought your DU star, I think that you paid for at least a few laughs. If you paid to see a stand-up comic, you would get jokes, but not necessarily any laughs or politics. I try to include some variety to add spice to DU life.

[sakabatou]

11. O.o?

[Boojatta]

12. O_O is for Kingside castling, and O_O_O is for Queenside castling.

What do the mixed upper and lower cases in your "O.o" signify?

[sakabatou]

14. O.o equals a raised eyebrow

[saltpoint]

15. There isn't a day that goes by when most of us don't

ask ourselves that very question.

There's more than one school of thought on the answer, though.

[Boojatta]

16. Please, Sir, could you provide a quick survey of some

viewpoints associated with at least two of the schools of thought? Is each school of thought on this (admittedly delicate) topic strongly unified or is there, within some single school, a Stalinistically Incorrect emergence of at least viewpoints?

I want details! Feel free to fill in gaps with speculative ideas where you fail to meet the high evidentiary standards of our tea-drinking friends. When you don't know, say very clearly that you don't know. Let me be a role model for one moment as I now acknowledge that I don't know whether or not the current Governor of California was born in the USA. What better way to have a surprise "weapon" political candidate than to create a myth of European birth, and a silly accent to "substantiate" the myth? An exciting horse race between candidate Obama and the Republicans will begin if and when Mr. Total Recall openly announces that he is pursuing the position of Vice President under anticipated President Palin.

[Boojatta]

18. Oops! I meant to write ...

"a Stalinistically Incorrect emergence of at least two viewpoints"

[Boojatta]

17. Kick