A great window into the closet is what Stephanie Miller and Chely Wright gave us today

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http://www.afterellen.com/people/2010/8/stephanie-miller-comes-out

You should listen to both her conversation with Wright and her actual coming out. If you really want to get both the attractions of the closet and the problems of it. It will take about a half hour to listen to both but if you want to understand your gay friends a little better it is worth it.

[Kerrytravelers]

1. I just finished listening to this a short while ago.

It was very informative for this straight girl. Thanks for sharing the link with others.

:hi:

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2. the Barbara Walters exchange was so amazing and sad

I am glad you found it informative.

[LostinVA]

3. Youtube Chely's appearance on "Ellen," too

It will bring you to tears.

[Missy Vixen]

4. One of my friends is still there

He doesn't know I know. One of his friends told me.

So, here's a dumb question, and maybe someone here can enlighten me. I want him to know I support him, no matter what. Is it better to say nothing, or do I wait for a quiet moment when we're alone, explain, and tell him I care for him and I feel lucky to know him?

In the meantime, I hope Stephanie Miller knows how many people are happy she is who she is.

[DURHAM D]

6. I would leave it alone.

If he truly considers you a friend he will tell you.

One of the problems us gay folk have is that some people think being gay is a total non-issue and will go around and tell others or make reference in a social situation. The way I explain it to straight friends is - Its my information so let me decide who gets the information.

I have learned the hard way that some people just can't hold it in because "they" don't think it should be an issue. They use my life to go on a personal and selfish crusade.

If you listened to the program SM indicated that it is her private life and she just didn't discuss it. I have a fairly high profile job and while I don't care who knows I just don't care to have a conversation with others about my private life. On some occasions I have had straight people tell me they "know" and offer what feels like sympathy toward me. That is totally creepy to me as I neither want or need someone's sympathy.

[Missy Vixen]

10. My lip is zipped.

As you said, he gets to decide. It's not my info, and it's not my business to tell other people.

One of my girlfriends is dying to be introduced to him. (She saw photos on Facebook.) I said he was "taken". I have no idea if this is true or not; I just thought it was the best answer to a question I couldn't figure out how to answer.

I'll be listening to Stephanie Miller's podcast this weekend, as I mentioned.

Thank you for your advice, too.

[WolverineDG]

11. That's why I don't like magazines or "journalists" who out people

It's your choice who to tell & when, if ever.

dg

[dsc]

8. you don't mention age or position which might matter here

I would tend to wait until he brings it up. I certainly wouldn't bring it up if he is under his parent's roof or otherwise not independent. I also, it goes without saying, wouldn't talk about him behind his back with others. I will say that one possible senario here is that the friend is being given active permission to out him, if that is the case, then my advice would be quite different.

[Missy Vixen]

9. I don't know if the friend in question had the permission to out him.

They are best friends. I stupidly asked her once if they were dating. Uh, no. Hopefully, he will bring it up himself at some point, and I hope I know the best thing to say without sticking my foot into my mouth. ("I care for you, I want you to be happy, and I'm glad to be your friend," might be nice.)

I will listen to Stephanie Miller's podcast and to the Chely Wright interview. It sounds like I will learn a lot.

Thank you for giving me such good advice.

[PA Democrat]

5. Thanks. Bookmarking to listen later.

I heard the segment where Steph broke the news. I was laughing and crying at the same time. I love Steph. It's great that the gay community will have another great advocate.

[Gold Metal Flake]

7. It was an amazing show today. And I did learn from it.

She is such a wonderful person. Thanks for posting the links to the audio. I was listening to the show as she started that segment but I was reading email and did not really hear her at first. As it dawned on me what she was saying I was surprised, but her courage just makes me love her more.