Where am I going to be?

[N_E_1 for Tennis]

Will I know the moment it happens, will I realize the day? Will I feel it happen?
Or will it just morph into another moment in everyday life, a little here, a little there,
and I find, upon reflection, I'm used to it?

When you suffer an injury, a cut for example, the wound heals but the site of the injury is never
really the same. A scar, maybe nerve damage, just a little, nothing big, A little less feeling, a little less
response, but at the same time able to get an injury again in that spot, with less knowledge.

Being a Democrat I have been damaged many times. Maybe now I just can't feel.

Can't feel the outrage I felt as a teen, being drafted for the Viet Nam war.
Fought from within the armed services, received many scars.
Can't feel the outrage I felt about the lack of Civil Rights, lived through the '68 Detroit riots, in the City.
Many wounds, many scars. Fought on in spite.
Can't feel the outrage of trying to start a union in a steel plant, many blows to the head, got up fought some more.
We won, but we staggered to the finish line only able to fall, exhausted, across it.

I've tried to be a good citizen, done what I thought was the right thing. Fought for change in America, fought for the beliefs
that I was taught to the correct beliefs. I followed one belief in particular, Do onto others, what you want done to you.
The golden rule. The base line of all humanity.

Others followed a different rule, Do onto others so you can profit. How do you fight this?
We can see the results of this policy all around us. It just does not work. How do you resist?

My "American Dream" is a nightmare. I cannot wake up. I scream. I cry. I want to fight, but I'm tangled in my bedsheets,
I cannot move.

I am 58 years old, put 3 kids through college, started my own business, have been married for 37 glorious years to my
fantasy woman, the only woman I'll ever love.

Now how will I support her in the years to come? I cannot afford to retire. Savings are shot. Government doesn't listen or care.

Never made enough in business to afford any health insurance, premiums just way, way too much. Healthy though, didn't worry before.
Older now, scars starting to hurt. Younger, I thought we would be taken care of by a caring nation, as others in the world are, oh no not here.
Way too much greed. Way too many lies.

Lies, greed, this is the American way.

It's all changing, will I be able to tell when it is complete? Will I feel differently, or just accept it as another day fighting windmills in the sun?

This is just a rant, just an outlet for my frustration, I expect no responses, I will give none. Thank you for letting me get at least this off my heart.
There is more, lots more, megatonnes more. This will suffice for now.

greg.