Adventures in American Government stupidity - Hong Kong Consulate

[Suji to Seoul]

Last week, I had to take my mother on a visa. For those who do not know what a visa run is, let me explain:

My parents did not have all their paper work to obtain their Chinese "Z" work visa in the States before coming to China to live, work and open a business with me in Shijiazhuang, in Hebei Province, so they arrived on a multiple entry "L" Tourist visa. As soon as their paperwork came in, I setup a quickie vacation in 香港 (Hong Kong SAR) in order to get the visa switched over. Visa runs are standard practice for foreigners working overseas.

My father was to be attached to my mother's visa since he is the spouse. He mailed us his passport upon rearrival to the States in order for us to get his Z visa in 香港.

We arrive after a cross country train ride from Shijiazhuang to Guangzhou and then the high speed from Guangzhou to Kowloon (Hung Hom station) in Hong Kong. My mother hates flying. When we get the visa office the next day around 11:00, we're told it's too late and to come back in the afternoon. Suddenly, an idea hits me. What are the legal ramifications of mailing an American back their passport?

I go to DHL and inquire, only to be told there would be an "up to four week" delay through customs. Since the American consulate was less than a mile away, my mother hopped a cab and decided to ask our government.

Upon arrival to ACS, we are told we do not have an appointment and would not even be allowed into our consulate. I explode. Words like "what do you mean my government won't see me" fly out of my mouth.

"Well, you need to call and setup and appointment?"

"What's the number?"

"Here. You can call now."

"No I can't because my mainland phone has no damn service in Hong Kong."

The man reluctantly gives me his phone and I ask the person on the other end when the next appointment is to ask a simple five minute question. "July 23rd at 3:00 PM"

"No good. We're leaving on July 16th."

"You could send us an email."

"No computer except in my hotel room and it would take me over an hour to get back there on the Underground. I need to be at the PRC Visa office in 30 minutes."

After a round of circular logic crosstalk by the employee, he gives in and asks me what my problem is. I explain the DHL statement, then ask if the consulate and mail the passport to my father.

"Sorry, we're not a mail service. That's why courier services exist."

"What about the delay?"

"DHL is making that up. I have never heard DHS or Customs holding a mailed passport ever. Just send it DHL or Fed Ex."

I thank the man profusely, calm my nervous mother down, go across the street to the coffee shop, whip out my hookah and relax with iced coffee, an apple fritter and my Jasmine flavored tobacco smoke while the Hong Kong channel sea breeze cools us down.

Later that day, we submit the paperwork but cannot get my father's work visa because we have to ensure he is physically with us (He is currently selling his business in the States), so my fear is justified and we mail the passport back.

Two days later, I get an email from DHL saying there is a "Clearence Delay" on my father's passport. Apparently, the consulate lied. After a four day delay and the work of Congresswoman Giffords, my father received his mailed passport.

But something about the Hong Kong consulate from someone who has been all over the world.

1) This is the first place that would deny entrance to an American citizen to services simply because of no appointment. Seoul didn't do that, Bangkok didn't do that, Beijing doesn't do that and neither does Mexico.

2) This is the first time the American government abroad has openly lied to me just to get me out of the way.

3) My mother posted a strange "if" question: If I were being chased down the street, screaming I was an American as I ran to the Hong Kong Consulate, would they deny me safety because I do not have an appointment?

By the way, my mother fell in love with Hong Kong, especially Hong Kong island. When the time is right, my family may buy land on the southern side of the island. Won't that be good? When that bastard retires or is deposed (finally), rumor has it Robert Mugabe has land in Hong Kong too. . .if it's true, I will have fun throwing eggs through his window!

I am currently on vacation in the coastal city of Quanzhou.