The Dittohead at the party

[Cyrano]

To me, parties are a plague. But once in a while I’m obliged to go to a birthday party, an anniversary party, a wedding, etc. And the worst are those where you don’t get to choose where you sit.

So there I was, trapped sitting next to a Dittohead. I didn’t know it when I sat down, or I would have faked some kind of physical ailment and screamed for an ambulance.

It took about two minutes of “conversation” for me to realize my situation and at that point, I was seriously considering the ambulance option.

Without going into detail about the nature of this party, or when it took place, (because there were people there who read DU), I was stuck, screwed and miserable. I couldn’t get up and walk away. I couldn’t change seats. And although death seemed rather attractive at the moment, I didn’t have the guts to stab myself with a fork.

In effect, I was a captive audience. Perhaps I was a bit too polite. My brain instructed me to tell this guy that he was a screaming asshole, but my mouth refused to cooperate. I made a few half-hearted attempts to inform him of the error of his ways, all the while knowing that it’s impossible to reason with a zombie. (There were people there I knew and being rude was not an option.)

Anyhow, the few hours I spent at that party were the longest year of my life.

So here’s my question. What would you have done?

[Ikonoklast]

1. Tell him to keep his politics to himself.

I refuse to listen to cretins repeating what they hear on the AM radio.

I have no problem being rude.


I feelings get hurt, oh well, life goes on.

[wryter2000]

2. I would have found some excuse to get away.

You can always go to the restroom and then wander off. See if you can help out in the kitchen.

If I knew there were people there who were sympathetic to reality, I might have tried to get next to them.

Or, you could try changing the subject to something like sports.

[southernyankeebelle]

3. I would have told him/her that when I am at a party I make it a practice not to talk politics or

religion because people get upset and I want to enjoy your company. So lets find somethingelse to talk about or I will move. If they don't change it than move politely.

[JoePhilly]

4. Gone to the bathroom, closed the door, pulled out my DROID ...

and played chess for as long as possible ... then if asked after, blame my disappearance on a very upset stomach.

[The_Commonist]

5. I am able to vomit on command.

It has come in handy a couple of times!

[verges]

29. YES! Throw up on him! I like it! nt

[Ozymanithrax]

6. I would have asked the host or hostes to move me.

If they could not do that, and I could not tell the idiot off, I would have made an excuse and left. The dittohead was a rude asshole for forcing his opinions on anyone who will listen.

[Bigmack]

7. I'm not lecturing you... I'm lecturing me.

We must be prepared with one-line Crushers for use in situations. Other situations, too.

And then we gotta practice them.... a lot... so that it only takes a second or two to whip it out.

"I won't talk politics with people with your views... it's pointless." is a good one.

Another, that I've used, is (Laughing ruefully... "Jesus.. You don't really believe that shit, do you? Just keep it to yourself and we'll be fine."

"You get your political advice from that Junkie Gasbag... you are hopeless."


And I'm practicing....

[Ikonoklast]

9. Yep. I ask them if they get their political views from a confessed drug addict,

an ex-house painter, or from a cocaine and achohol addicted failed former morning drive-time 'shock-jock'; that is, Limbaugh, Hannity, and Beck.

Then I laugh at them.

[Cyrano]

12. Unfortunately, it was a rather small group and

whatever I said might have been overheard. Further, I didn't want to make a scene, or insult the hostess. (I did, however, want to kill the hostess for inviting me.)

[ellie]

24. That is good advice!

I always laugh at their stupid ideas and mock them to their face. These idiots are so used to people agreeing with them that they will be struck dumb and, if they start yelling, they look like a complete asshole to everyone around them.

[DefenseLawyer]

8. I generally smile and say

"Look, we're here for _______ not to talk politics, so how about we change the subject." If the person persists I would literally ignore him as if he wasn't there.

[gateley]

11. I think this is the best approach. Even just "I'm not really very interested in

politics, so..." and then change the subject. It's soooo tempting to get into it, but at times the situation prohibits it, plus it saves me from having my blood pressure rise.

[erinlough]

10. I'll tell you what I did on Sunday.

Sat. night I have an obligatory party where one of the attendees is the President of the local Tea Bagger bunch. She is also distantly related. I dread it every time it happens. The hostess however has demanded that no politics be brought up,,,,,,but I am still expecting it. This lady is an uninformed idiot, she won't be able to comply. Here is my practiced speech, should the worst happen:

Look, let's not talk about this. Your opinion is your own, however I can tell you mine is 180 degrees from yours and I am informed enough to argue. Because this is not my party I prefer not to be a bitch, although I am highly capable of it.

I'm hoping that said in a quiet, and private way will stop her. If not I plan on being a bitch, and enjoying it.

[bluestateguy]

13. It's not patriotic to go against the President of the United States in a tim of war

Not now. Not when we have troops in the field.

[arcane1]

15. We have a winner! n/t

[lpbk2713]

14. You have my admiration for your self restraint, Cyrano.

Me, I would have been manifestly uncouth.

[JHB]

16. Just sniff the air and note...

..."Your mouthwash just ain't makin' it."

[MrScorpio]

17. By the time I was done with him, he'd be screaming for mercy

The one thing that I can not suffer is some fool

[DefenseLawyer]

23. No one wants to see a shouting match at a kid's birthday party or a wedding reception

If you take the opportunity to get into it with him in that setting, even if he started it, even if you are right and he is wrong, even if you have him "crying for mercy", you still look like just as much of an ass as he does to everyone else.

[tularetom]

18. Turned down the invitation to the party

The only parties I would attend are the ones we have here at the house where we can control who is there.

Unfortunately the family holidays like thanksgiving are the ones we have no control because we have to invite our asshat relatives.

One year I had to ask my nephew to leave because he kept bitching about the "N-words" that got jobs that he had applied for.

Even the other family wing nuts were glad to see him go. Even his wife.

[WitchyWoman57]

19. Don't get sucked in....

I've been in the same situation. I just say "Whoa...politics! Way too heavy for a party" and then change the subject. It works every time.

[Kelvin Mace]

20. You don't have to call them an asshole

or behave impolitely. I have found that mildly amused incredulity works very well. You treat them like you would a five year old who is explaining their views on brain surgery.

I routinely deal with truck drivers, very, very reactionary pro-Limbaugh types. I had one ranting about how unions were "destroying America and jobs". I smiled and responded:

"I might agree with you except for this curious article I read in the Financial Times during the Detroit bailout talks that while the U.S. divisions were broke, the European divisions were making money. This was strange since European countries have unions, plus severe (by American standards) laws about minimum vacation time, maternity/paternity leave, short work weeks, plus socialist programs like universal health care. It would seem to me that if unions, stringent government safety/work rules, and massive socialism are bad, then all of these companies should be broke, yet they made money while their American counterparts, lacking all of these disadvantages, bled money."

Always smile, always be polite, but make your point. If they get upset, let them shout. I have driven many a loon to apoplexy with this approach.

[Enthusiast]

34. That is one great answer!

I have made the same point several times. Of course this argument is NEVER heard on TV or radio.

[Obamanaut]

21. It is not requred to listen to someone who is offering opinions with which

one disagrees. If the listener stays in the group, that listener has chosen to hear the opinions - the unwanted opinions are not being forced upon the listener. It is possible to move to another spot if seated, or to walk away if standing.

[Dr Morbius]

22. I would have made him or her see the stupidity of his/her views.

It only takes three or four questions to demonstrate conservative ideological "truths" make no sense at all. I am much disliked personally and don't get invited to parties very often, though, so take that fact along with my response.

[Canuckistanian]

25. I guess gnawing off a limb wouldn't help

But I can sympathize. We all have greater social priorities that preclude the expression of our true feelings.

That "vomiting on demand" thing seems to be a handy thing to learn.

[RagAss]

26. Next time...force a few farts out !

That'll move his cretin ass away from you.

[lonestarnot]

27. Shut the fuck up works for me.

:evilgrin:

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

28. If I had gas I'd fart loudly in his presence.

One rude act deserves another.

[verges]

30. Just giggle at every ridiculous statement.

When asked what you're laoughing at, reply "Surely, you don't really belive that?" Then just continue giggling. It'll look like you're actually having a good time.

[The Second Stone]

31. I'd rather hear you pass wind

than listen to your political opinions, which stink more.

[WillYourVoteBCounted]

32. my siblings are dittoheads

and they are educated! All have masters or phds.

They also watch Fox news.

Oh, and when they spew hateful stuff about Pres Obama or Democrats,
they expect me to sit there and take it, but
when GW was in office, they would never stand for criticism r/e GW.

[Touchdown]

33. I'd excuse myself to the bathroom, then find the hostess

Apologize for my new five minute old stomach ache, and leave.

I've done this at political rallies where the speaker who won't shut up is saying everything I agree with. There no way I'd stick around to listen to that shit.

Saying goodbye early is better than resenting her for inviting you. She probably knows parities aren't your thing anyhow, so she most likely appreciated you just showing up.

[rbixby]

35. I end up in this situation relatively frequently

and I just say "Lets keep things friendly and leave the politics at home".

If they keep pushing, then I let them have it, but I do my best to keep that from happening.

[southern_belle]

36. Say his name is Harry...

I would say, smilingly, "Oh, Harry, Harry, Harry, you are so funny!"