Flame Warriors

[HughMoran]

I love this site - it has each internet warrior style condensed down into an easy to digest paragraph. :rofl:

http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/troglodyte.htm

Ideologue

The most common variants of Ideologue are conservative and liberal. Smug and self satisfied in their certitudes, Ideologue's opinions are merely a loose collection of intellectual conceits, and he is genuinely astonished, bewildered and and indignant that his views are not universally embraced as the Truth. He regards the opposing point of view as a form of cognitive dissonance whose only cure is relentless propagandizing and browbeating. The conservative iteration of Ideologue parades himself as a logical, clear thinker, while the liberal version trumpets his higher level of mental, spiritual and social awareness. Troglodyte is the natural ally of conservative Ideologue, and for liberal Ideologue it is Weenie. Ideologue is a fierce, but very predictable Warrior.

:hi:

[villager]

1. Interesting "physician, heal thyself" aspect to the OP, yes?

;-)

[HughMoran]

2. .

[villager]

5. Exactly right! The mirror!

You captured what I was saying in an image! ;-)

[HughMoran]

8. Pictures can be an effective tool

hehe - I said tool - hit that one for an ace ;)

[villager]

9. Yes, you said "tool...!"

n/t

[sabrina 1]

74. Lol! n/t

[Warpy]

3. I aspire to be a Miss Manners warrior, not listed on the site

Miss Manners was the master of the subtle insult, so subtle the target would probably spend days wondering if it really was an insult, never quite sure.

Unfortunately, subtlety is lost on conservatives. I do send them scurrying for a dictionary on occasion, trying to find out if they've been insulted (yes, they have).

[SidDithers]

7. Wait. Are you insulting me?...

:)

Good post. Clever is so much better than obvious.

Sid

[MineralMan]

16. Perish the thought...

[era veteran]

57. Yes, gentle readers Miss Manners is very good

[johnaries]

79. "You can damn their hide, as long as you 'bless their heart' "

I always loved that song!

[Spazito]

4. LOL! Very apt description, imo

:rofl:

[Rex]

6. One of the best sites and most accurate descriptions of characters online.

:hi:

[MineralMan]

21. And a completely equal opportunity poker at balloons, too.

Everyone's in those caricatures. Everyone. It's hilarious.

[Rex]

33. Yes! I can't just say I am one of those - I am about three plus traits

from other caricatures. The first time I saw that site (many moons ago) I laughed so hard I actually cried for about 5 minutes at some of the descriptions.

[G_j]

10. Right=Left

OK, I get the point....

[LoZoccolo]

11. I like what I see so far, but

I wonder why we see so many unreccomends!

I also wonder if the author would come up with a few more types specific to DU and it's unique arsenal of weapons (such as unreccomend).

[Scurrilous]

12. Hilarious.

:thumbsup:

[LoZoccolo]

13. I've been wandering around looking for

something similar to the "Munchausen by Internet" type where someone fakes a medical problem and keeps talking about it. But really, on the Internet, a person doesn't need to necessarily have a medical problem to get attention, it could be any long-term aspect of their living situation, including things you brought on themselves.

[conscious evolution]

41. OMC syndrome

[LoZoccolo]

45. Not cool.

[sufrommich]

47. +1 nt.

[JNelson6563]

93. Exactly!

I recall so clearly at some political forum or other where a particularly needy attention whore posted that his wife had just attempted suicide, like the night before or something like that. I remember thinking if that was me and my husband was trumpeting my VERY personal business all over the internet I'd kill him--not myself. Sometime later here comes the sequel "my wife left me".

I'd count that drama in the category you so aptly described.

Julie

[HughMoran]

14. Rebel Leader

Rebel Leader has an uncanny ability to upset the settled order of a discussion forum. Other Warriors may be excellent in single combat, but Rebel Leader's charisma, political instincts and verbal skills enable him to rally collective assaults powerful enough to overthrow the Royals and silence Cyber Sisters. Rebel Leader may draw allies from almost any of the other Warrior classes, but he can usually count on Loopy in the early stages of the conflict, and Sycophant after the revolution is well underway. Once the revolution has succeeded, however, Rebel Leader quickly loses interest in the cause. As is the case with false King-Fu Masters, the bones of wannabe Rebel Leaders litter the battlefields. .

[MineralMan]

15. Highlarious! (misspelling intentional)

I'm sure glad there are none of those Idealogues here on DU...

Whimsy. We need more whimsy.

[PBS Poll-435]

17. Holy crap

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Mimosa]

18. Flame warriors still holds true

Are there any new ones? Why would anybody un-rec this?

[MineralMan]

20. Ah...I suspect that they see themselves reflected in one or another

of the caricatures and it makes them feel all icky inside. The unreccers, I mean. That's the only reason I can think of. I saw myself in one of the caricatures on the site, but it made my laugh out loud.

As my father says, "You might as well laugh at yourself. If you don't others will do it for you."

[lapislzi]

19. Hilarious.

This blogger deserves a book deal.

[azmouse]

22. Love that website!

:rofl:

[HughMoran]

23. Loopy

This one is friggin' hilarious and I can think of several examples of this one (nobody here of course.) http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/loopy.htm



Loopy's messages are incomprehensible to all but himself. Loopy is easily aroused and exuberant in battle and fearlessly flings himself at any Warrior - even Kung-Fu Master. Loopy's main weapons consist of a disarming array of nonsequiturs, tautologies, and bizarre metaphors, which can often gain him an advantage in the initial stages of an attack. Combatants very quickly realize, however, that Loopy is a certifiable nut case and generally avoid further engagement. Jerk and Evil Clown revel in egging Loopy on for their own amusement. CAUTION: Loopy cannot be defeated with conventional weapons - any response to his attacks will provoke a fusillade of incoherent messages, so Loopy is best left undisturbed.

[NJmaverick]

24. That's pretty funny

:)

[nadinbrzezinski]

25. Thanks, I forgot to book mark the site

last time around. I see it's grown too.

[sufrommich]

26. I lost the bookmark for this site . Thanks for posting it. I love it! nt

[RandomThoughts]

27. But some of them don't like music!!!!!!!!

AC/DC - Thunderstruck
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvoeeq-BH4w

[MerryBlooms]

28. What a hoot!

I absolutely love it ... the bad spell-check adds to the 'reality' of the descriptions.
Thanks for the giggles.

[TexasObserver]

29. Sir, You Have No Doubt Hit On Something Insightful.

[SunsetDreams]

30. Cyber Sisters

Cyber Sisters are an extremely fierce confederation of fighting females who act something like a shrill Greek chorus, echoing and amplifying one another's voice until their foes retreat in disarray. They are generally leaderless, but anyone who challenges one Cyber Sister can expect to be savagely attacked by the others. Only the most powerful and battle-hardened of Warriors is strong enough to weather a Cyber Sisters attack.

Where do they get these drawings from?:rofl:

[sufrommich]

31. My favorite drawing from the bunch:

http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/diplomat.htm

It made me laugh out loud.

[Greyskye]

32. Hysterical! I recognize so many...

...this one made me do a double take.

http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/jekylhyde.htm

[HughMoran]

34. Compost

A weak Warrior with few weapons at his disposal Compost flings expletives and vulgarities to keep his opponent at bay. This tactical maneuver can occasionally rout especially sensitive combatants, such as Innocence Abused, but it is generally ineffective against more powerful Warriors. Nanny has little stomach for Compost's ordure and will quickly ban him from the forum.

[HughMoran]

35. Xenophobe

Xenophobe is usually a long-term discussion forum participant and he thinks of the forum as his private compound. Xenophobe regards new forum arrivals as mentally deficient and perhaps even having criminal tendencies, and they are invariably approached with suspicion and condescension. Xenophobe will mount a furious attack if a Newbie has the temerity to make critical observations about the forum's social dynamics, or questions its prevailing opinions.

[chrisa]

36. Less than 1000 posts! N00B! You can't possibly know more than me!

Anything I say has 100X more value! :)

[madinmaryland]

37. Signature lines are temporarily disabled due to flame-fests of Narwhalian proportions in GD and GDP

:shrug:

[HughMoran]

38. lol!

I had to check my sig line after that :rofl:

[apocalypsehow]

39. Oh, this absolutely nails it. I even recognized myself among the assembled. And your OP must have

hit an nerve with some folks on DU - I note my Rec was canceled out by some unhappy soul when I returned to your OP from the article.

Thanks for posting! :hi:

[emulatorloo]

40. GREAT SITE! Thanks so much for posting this

[HughMoran]

42. Evil Clown

Evil Clown is very quick with a joke, but his jests always have a barb. He has little patience for in-depth discussions and will often disrupt exchanges between serious forum participants by introducing irrelevant topics, fatuous quips, and offhand comments. His greatest thrill is to taunt and humiliate weaker or more plodding Warriors with his snappy ripostes. Not a particularly powerful Warrior, Evil Clown will attempt to avoid defeat by accusing his attacker of having no sense of humor.

[RandomThoughts]

43. A true clown embraces defeat and beats his opponent to death with it.

Maybe that is not a clown.... But it is funny.

:D


AC/DC - Thunderstruck
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvoeeq-BH4w

[HughMoran]

44. Ahh, you meant Killer Klowns

...from outer space!

[RandomThoughts]

46. Not really, thinking something else there.

Might not be clowns. Something... Air Cav hitting the village seem to be whats in this clip.

Apocalypse Now - The Ride Of The Valkyries
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sx7XNb3Q9Ek


AC/DC - Thunderstruck
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvoeeq-BH4w

[apocalypsehow]

48. Haaaahaaaaaa! Love it!

:beer:

[Odin2005]

56. That one is common in rape threads!

:puke:

[socialist_n_TN]

49. Does anybody else find themselves using

several of these strategies rather than just one?

[HughMoran]

52. Yes

[TheKentuckian]

50. Very funny stuff, Hugh

[Scurrilous]

51. Kick

:kick:

[HughMoran]

53. Klaxon

WARNING!!! YOU MUST READ THIS!!! Klaxon, the internet Chicken Little, raises the alarm for each and every paranoid conspiracy theory, Federal Big-Brother scheme, internet hoax, and latest computer virus. No black helicopter alert is so ludicrous, no urban legend so implausible, that he will not pass it along as accepted fact (in ALL CAPS with multiple exclamation marks). Congratulations, you are recipient 16,747 of today's Urban Myth. CAUTION: Evil Clown or even Klaxon himself may sometimes spread false alarms just to stir up trouble.

[Scurrilous]

62. ..

[SidDithers]

73. That would be a klaxon event...nt

Sid

[TK421]

95. CALL CONGRESS RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!!@@!3333

[Touchdown]

54. Hilarious! I recognize myself in many of them

It's humbling, and funny at the same time.

[Odin2005]

55. LOL, I'm part Ideologue, part Philosopher.

[era veteran]

58. Great & Funny

[TroglodyteScholar]

59. I take offense...

Some troglodytes are very liberal!

[HughMoran]

60. Artful Dodger

Artful Dodger is a nimble and elusive Warrior. When strongly attacked he changes the subject with a diversionary counterattack. For example, if in a moment of pique his opponent refers to him to him as a "sonofabitch", Artful Dodger will not only demand a public apology for the insult to his own mother, but will castigate his opponent on behalf all mothers everywhere. Knowing full well that staying on topic works to his disadvantage, Artful Dodger will not allow himself to be pinned down.

[HughMoran]

61. Archivist

Archivist saves and squirrels away each and every discussion forum message. Do you remember having a bad day back in 1996 when in one of your messages you may have said a few things that were...well, perhaps a little...hasty? Don't worry, Archivist still has it and will post it to the forum if you begin to get the upper hand in battle. Archivist can be a very effective and fearsome Warrior.

[HughMoran]

63. Blowhard

Blowhard feels the need to present his credentials before entering the fray - even if they are irrelevant to the discussion. For example, in a movie forum conflict he might attempt to settle the matter by saying, "As a Ph. D. candidate in particle physics I believe I can say with some authority that the 'Beavis and Butthead' movie represents the emergence of a new cultural paradigm." Huh?

[Dank Nugs]

64. Sounds a lot like President Obama n/t

[HughMoran]

65. Which one?

What are you talking about?

[Name removed]

66. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[HughMoran]

67. Obama is an artful dodger?

...or are you?

[KonaKane]

75. Heavens to Mergatroid, another attack on Obama.

Its starting to look routine here.

[HughMoran]

80. Starting?

It's the MO for a majority.

[HughMoran]

68. Troller

Troller is looking for a response...ANY response, and he will chum the waters with complaints, insults, compliments, and inflammatory tidbits hoping that someone...ANYONE, will take the bait. Generally quite harmless - practices a form of catch and release. Nonetheless, he can upset the delicate ecology of a discussion forum. Once a forum becomes aware of his presence, however, all feeding activity ceases and Troller must move on to more promising waters.

[Patsy Stone]

69. Issues is still my favorite:

"Issues has an issue and she won't rest until it becomes your issue, too."

[HughMoran]

70. lol, I was just going to post that one

:rofl:

[Name removed]

71. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Ikonoklast]

76. Thank God It Passed!

*cough*

[HughMoran]

77. .

[HughMoran]

72. Big Cat

Big Cat would rather not fight...he enjoys peacefully observing forum conversations and laconically participates when the moods strikes. He playfully chases interesting threads, and from time to time uses a Newbie or Propellerhead as a convenient scratching post. He enjoys being stroked or petted, and tends to purr loudly. CAUTION: Don't be fooled by his fuzzy, playful exterior. When provoked, Big Cat reacts with lightning speed and almost always lands on his feet after an attack. Big Cat often indulges himself by toying with his victim before delivering his lethal blows.

[HughMoran]

78. Profundus Maximus

Profundus Maximus eagerly holds forth on all subjects, but his thin knowledge will not support a sustained assault and therefore his attacks quickly peter out. Profundus Maximus often uses big words, obscure terms and...ahem...even Latin to bluff his way through battle..

[csziggy]

81. Listening to this song while reading this thread - so appropriate

We Didn't Start the Flame War
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QyYaPWasos

[HughMoran]

82. Here's one to aspire to:

Android



Android doesn't anger, nor does he engage in actual combat, rather he will merely point out the logical inconsistencies of other Warriors. Irony and sarcasm are completely lost on Android, and being impossible to insult or injure in any way, he is invulnerable to conventional attack. If, for example, someone were to call him a pinhead, he would get out a tape measure and after finding that his cranium falls within normal size specifications Android would dismiss the comment as erroneous. Android's circuits are not equipped to process ambiguous or aesthetic input, consequently any extensive discussion involving personal feelings, intuition, art and metaphorical allusions will quickly drive Android from the field of battle.

[HughMoran]

83. Imposter

Impostor is a digital Proteus who changes his persona whenever it suits his purposes. That 21 year old co-ed from Arizona State you met in a discussion forum may, in fact, be a retired steel worker from Pittsburgh. Impostor will claim to be black, white, rich, poor, young, old, straight or gay, and if he's good he can pull it off - at least for a while. Of course, there are sinister, even criminal reasons Impostor would lie about who he is, but more often he fakes it to lend weight to his arguments, or simply to amuse himself. Impostor's requisite imagination and good writing skills can make him a formidable enemy, but even the best Impostors will eventually blunder and reveal their true identity. Once uncovered, Impostor always flees the field, but he may return in another form - you just never know...

[Number23]

84. How the heck did I miss this thread??

Too late to rec but I can kick!

[Scurrilous]

85. The Swarm

A Swarm hive is almost impossible to detect. When a hapless victim stumbles on a forum that houses a Swarm and disturbs it with an offending message, the Swarm will erupt and fly at their victim from all directions. Taken one at a time the irrelevant, often mindless individual attacks can be easily brushed aside, but because of the sheer volume of the assault even the strongest Warriors must eventually yield. WARNING: Only those who are highly skilled in Swarm management techniques should attempt to wade into a Swarm hive. but even with protective clothing opposing Warriors should expect to suffer a few stings.


:rofl:

[HughMoran]

86. Crybaby

Although sometimes a male, Crybaby is usually a female, and often a close ally of Innocence Abused. When teased or attacked Crybaby will pitch a loud public temper tantrum, holding her breath and kicking her feet. If that defense fails she will run to Nanny for comfort.

[Swede]

87. Thanks for posting this Hughmoran.

This has hours of fun written on it.:hi:

[HughMoran]

88. de nada

It is fun and we all can see ourselves in one or more of these characters :D

[Scurrilous]

91. Indeed.

:P

[HughMoran]

89. Atheist

Atheist is Deacon's cyber-doppelganger. Deacon and Atheist hold equally fervent, though diametrically opposed beliefs about religion, and both feel compelled to share those beliefs at every possible opportunity. Should an unsuspecting forum member make even a passing comment about faith or spirituality of any flavor, Atheist will descend like one of the Furies, mercilessly hectoring all of the ignorant and delusional believers about the sordid history of the church and the pernicious effects of religion on society. After a few of Atheist’s anti-religious jeremiads most other Warriors will avoid the subject altogether, though Evil Clown may egg him on a little, and Philosopher may amuse himself by pointing out flaws in his reasoning. If a forum has the misfortune of having both Deacon and Atheist as members, the bickering often continues until Nanny or Admin pulls the plug. Bliss Ninny can also sometimes squelch the conversation by saying, “Well, everyone has a right to their opinion.”

[Cleita]

90. Some idealogues have facts and history to back their

statements. Some don't. Let's say Amy Goodman, ideologue with facts and researched sources and Glenn Beck, ideologue with no facts and who often engages in magical thinking.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

92. "...moderation in principle is always a vice." Thomas Paine

"A thing moderately good is not so good as it ought to be. Moderation in temper is always a virtue; but moderation in principle is always a vice." Thomas Paine

Durned ideologue that Tom Paine feller.

[HughMoran]

94. Admin

Admin is the janitor, the cop, the mayor, the judge and sometimes even the forum doctor who tends to Warriors injured in battle - in other words, Nanny on steroids. Because he runs the forum and sets the rules Admin has the power to pull the plug on any Warrior who gets a little too frisky. Sometimes his efforts are appreciated, but like any authority figure he is also resented - especially by Jerk, Evil Clown, Enfant Provocateur, Ego, Rebel Without a Clue, Yuk Yuk, Troller, and other Warriors who would like to turn the forum into their personal playground. Most Admins are generally fair and even handed, but the adage that absolute power corrupts absolutely is as true on the internet as it is anywhere else, and it is a rare Admin who can resist bringing the hammer down if seriously pressed by a determined foe. Sycophant and other suckups will also attach themselves to a strong Admin to form a defensive perimeter around him, and more often than not Admin's enemies will be driven off without him ever having to brandish his ax. CAUTION: Admin is the most powerful of all Warriors and drawing him into direct battle invites almost certain defeat. Rebel Leader does pose a limited threat to Admin's power by fomenting a revolt and causing forum members to jump ship

[guitar man]

96. I love them

Plenty of these get tossed around here :P



http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/grenade.htm