BP welcomes you to the apocalypse, By Mark Morford

[madokie]

Please do not worry. Please do not fret about that one thing you always fret about, or that other thing, or even that third thing that might have something to do with erupting oil, dead pelicans and that sickening feeling in your gut that Something is Very Wrong Indeed.

I come bearing fabulous news. There is no longer any need to concern yourself with pesky trifles like love, a mortgage, child rearing, planting a garden, dreams, money, shoes, wristwatches, parking spaces, mysterious rashes, foreign policy, baseball, bridge tolls or generally caring about much of anything in particular.

I am delighted to report it will all be over soon. If not sooner. It's true.

And it's a good thing, too, because I was just reading up on six of the worst-case scenarios resulting from the BP spill, all sorts of horrors and tragedies, abuses and unspeakables, from dire seafood shortages to horrifying ecosystem destruction, wildlife mutilation to all the years and decades before the gulf region will be anywhere near recovered. These scenarios all were, in a word, bleak. They were, in three more, thoroughly f--ing depressing. ...



(Full URL: http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2010/06/25/notes062510.DTL&nl=fix)

[Swamp Rat]

1. k&r

[cwydro]

2. K

R

[cwydro]

3. Good article

except that he says the Obama adminstration has stopped BP from spraying the dispersant...WRONG.

They are still spraying it.

[cutlassmama]

4. won't be long now

[Phoebe Loosinhouse]

5. Credible people have worried about methane release for years

but the concern was focused on warming causing permafrost to thaw and allowing methane release. Methane is a far stronger greenhouse gas, it can definitely accelerate the warming cycle, damage the ozone, etc.

Right now we are reading about gargantuan amounts of methane in the Gulf. Why is Morford poo-pooing this? Is it just black humor?

I think there's a reason the EU banned Corexit. But Americans are mostly unaware that other countries won't import American meat because of the hormones and antibiotics and e-coli and what have you. We just trudge on complacently poisoning ourselves and listening to the "We're the greatest country" propaganda without having a clue as to reality.

[Dogmudgeon]

6. You do realize that this is a satirical piece, right?

The quoted articles were written by complete wack-jobs. One is for Euro-racists, and the other is a teabagger blog.

Morford is poking not-so-subtle fun at the scaremongers who are riding the Deepwater Horizon disaster to their 15 minutes of fame.

--d!

[unhappycamper]

7. k&r

~snip~

Here is your grand finale: A new survey says that a disturbingly large percentage of Americans -- 40 percent, to be exact -- actually believe Jesus will return by 2050, likely riding on the back of a flaming asteroid (30 percent think one will hit us by then), waving a cowboy hat and yodeling as he careens toward our hapless blue dot of inequity, pain and lousy AT&T reception.

Jesus will then crash land in Texas, wink at Dubya and Sarah Palin, and then sweep up all the True Believers in their beige Dodge minivans just as the earth shudders and implodes, just like one of those swirling black holes in "Star Trek."

Yee Haw!