I Hate The Poor...

[MrScorpio]

I hate the poor... Because they're lazy and worthless and won't help themselves.

I love the rich... Because they employ people like me, so I can have a job... This week.


I hate the government... Because it's out to steal what's mine and hurt my family.

I love the Second Amendment... Because I have a right to keep and bear arms, so I can protect me and my family from harm.


I hate everyone who's not a Christian... Because America is a Christian nation.

I love my church... I can, because we have Freedom of Religion in America.


I hate gays... Because they want to destroy the Institution of Marriage.

I love divorce... Because now I can have a second wife (Or third, or fourth...).


I hate taxes... Because taxes are always too high and the government spends too much of my hard earned money on welfare.

I love the military... Because nothing is ever too much for our men in uniform.


I hate abortion... Because it kills innocent babies.

I love the Global War on Terror... Because we take the battle to our enemies, on their soil and not ours.


I hate illegal aliens... Because they take jobs away from hard working Americans.

I love Right to Work... Because it keeps out the crooked unions.


I hate Liberals... Because they always want to help the undeserving and leave me out in the cold.

I love Conservatives... Because they understand that the best way to help everyone is to take care of those who are on top.


I hate Socialism... Because it would take our freedoms away.

I love Medicare and Social Security... Because I earned the right to have them.


I hate Obama... Because even though he's smart, he has very little executive experience and doesn't know what he's doing.

I love Sarah... Because she's a woman of God and her faith guides her hand.





Why do I feel this way?

It's simple...

Because, I'm a proud, patriotic AMERICAN... And NO ONE can tell me what to think, not even someone like YOU.

[MineralMan]

1. Did you write this yourself?

Did it come from some other source?

Do you have any comment on what you've posted?

I guess I don't understand your reason for posting this garbage here. Maybe you can help me understand.

[Tansy_Gold]

2. I guess I don't understant your failure to recognize sarcasm

from one of DU's oldest members.



Tansy Gold

[MineralMan]

5. Funny. I see crap like that all over the internet. It comes in emails.

It's posted on sites all over the web.

It's not satire. Many people feel exactly that way. Satire requires some special stuff. Just posting what someone might say isn't satire. I know. I write satire all the time.

I don't know the poster. I may have seen posts by that poster here at one time or another, but I don't keep a file on who believes what or who falls into one camp or another. Do you?

I feel that it is incumbent on posters here to make their satirical posts outrageous enough to be recognized as satire. This just sounds like some winger writing the usual crap. I don't see that it serves much use at all.

I wasn't sure. So, I asked. I have not been answered. When I'm not sure of someone's position or motivation, I simply ask. That seems an appropriate thing to do, don't you think?

[MrScorpio]

7. It's satire...

Very subtle satire...

That's how I roll.

[MineralMan]

14. I'll try to remember that.

You may just want to consider broadening your satire a little more, though.

[MrScorpio]

16. I'll take it under advisement, n/t

[WCGreen]

29. Don't you dare...

Consider it for more than a moment without then disregard the advice.

[TalkingDog]

20. "Many people feel exactly that way"...and that is exactly the point

Don't just focus on what EACH line is saying. Look at the commonalities between each SET of lines...

If "they" think Obama is smart but unexperienced, then they must put stock in intelligence and experience. Suggesting they want someone who is a rational thinker who can work through problems.

In the next line "they" tout Palin as someone they like because she uses religious feeling to guide her....just the opposite of what "they" suggest in the first line.


It's like saying: I like apples because they are crisp tart and juicy with an interesting texture.

But I prefer oranges even though they hurt my stomach.


Both are about fruit, but the thought processes behind each item are different and in some ways irreconcilable.

[smiley]

3. sarcasm

not garbage:shrug:

[MrScorpio]

4. I stuck a picture in there...

I hope that it helps you figure out what my point is.

[MineralMan]

6. Yes, that helps. It would have been nice had it been there from

the beginning.

I was not sure of the motivation, so I asked. It was a simple question.

I often contribute satire to DU. I make sure that people know it's satire, by the use of the common components of satire. I post false and comic urls. Even then, some people do not recognize the satire. Every single satirical article I have written here is misunderstood by at least one person, but always recognized by the rest.

What you posted is simply a mirror of what some people say online every day. There was no overstatement of your points. It was just the same as I have seen written all over the web. Same talking points. Same stupid statements.

I suppose I should know who you are and what your positions are. I do not. I don't keep lists of duers.

So, I asked. Thank you for answering.

[MrScorpio]

8. Glad to be of service. nt

[Tansy_Gold]

23. FYI -- DU keeps a list of DUers so DUers don't have to

You wanna know how long someone's been here and/or how many posts they got? Look it up.

If you have to tell someone it's satire, then it ain't workin'. On the other hand, the very best satire is the most subtle.

MrScorpio nailed it like a Mary Lou Retton vault. I'm very sorry you didn't get it.




Tansy Gold, who is NOT good at satire

[Scuba]

21. You like pirates?

Keep posting, thanks.

[inna]

10. :facepalm:

:wow:

:nuke:

[MineralMan]

11. Now, I do recognize your screen name.

I do.

[inna]

13. What a bizarre fucking comment. Why wouldn't you recognize it and who the fuck cares??

:wtf:

[BR_Parkway]

9. What a great example of the various contradictions these people

manage to fit into their skulls at the same time with no inclination that they exactly cancel each other

[Dr Morbius]

12. I would never try to tell you or anyone else what to think.

I will, however, try to teach you HOW. You, Mr Scorpio, already know how to think. This puts you alongside myself in the minority in America. Last year, on kind of a whim really, I checked a college textbook out of the library: A Concise Introduction to Logic. It was a revelation; why I wasn't taught this in school I do not know. Why we weren't ALL taught logic in school is beyond me. I know that if I had learned this before the age of eighteen, I would have made many, many fewer mistakes in life.

Many professional careers, especially mathematics and law, require learning logic. Basic syllogisms are taught in geometry. That aside, few Americans know how to think logically. And you can bet your sweet ass none of them go to "tea parties."

[MrScorpio]

15. Believe it or not, I've never had a single logic class

I guess that it comes naturally to some of us, more than it does to others.

[Dr Morbius]

18. There are nuances, though.

Most of logic, especially the part including argumentative logic, is self-evident, meaning if most people think it through they will come to the same conclusions. Common sense, in other words. But in embracing symbolic logic and logical proof, I became a better thinker. Please don't think I went through 47 years of my life unable to think rationally; that's not the case. I mean the exercises sharpened my mind, and without any disrespect to you - for I've enjoyed your writing since I arrived here in late April, and you clearly are no dummy - I believe it would sharpen your mind, too. It's all about the exercise; flexing the mental muscles.

I think every American kid should be taught rational thinking, which is rudimentary logic, before puberty. I think this will cut abortions in half. I think this will cut teen pregnancy by two-thirds. I think Americans would waste less time on television and entertainment. And I think it would permanently cripple the Republican party, for their base would shrivel up. So it won't ever happen. But I can dream.

[MrScorpio]

22. I agree

A couple a years ago, I came across a pretty comprehensive list of logical fallacies, and I pretty much had the exactly same reaction as you did with that text book.

I found myself wondering, why the HELL is this not taught in grade school?

And you know, you're absolutely correct... If logic was taught very early in American schools, a lot of the foolishness that we see today in this country, well that might just be substituted for some basic common sense.

[HughBeaumont]

17. IOW: "It's all about ME, everyone ELSE is a shiftless FREEloader . . . "

" . . . and I hate (insert racial slur here)s!"

That second-to-last one galls me to NO fucking end.

"I hate Socialism... Because it would take our freedoms away.

I love Medicare and Social Security... Because I earned the right to have them."

Oh the DRAAAAAMA! "Because NO ONE ELSE works AS HARD as I do!! NO ONE@!!1!!! YOU'RE the lazy bum and YOU'RE where you are because YOU FAILED!! HA HAAAAAA!!!"

[MrScorpio]

19. You know, I almost forgot to include that puppy

And that was one of the worst types of bullshit that they loved to pull.

Glad that I could grab your attention like that

[Child_Of_Isis]

24. I liked it Mr.Scorpio!

This one was my favorite:

I love Conservatives... Because they understand that the best way to help everyone is to take care of those who are on top.


It kind of blows that whole I hate socialism thing out of the water, doesn't it?

[MrScorpio]

25. That is a main pillar of "Conservative Principles"

Something that's fueling that whole rich-get-richer-and-the-poor-get-poorer trend thingy in this country.

Why Joe and Jane Sixpack allows the GOP to get away with this shit is a mystery to me.

[Child_Of_Isis]

27. Socialism for the rich, capitalism for us. n/t

[HughBeaumont]

31. Because of this good ol' cornpone American fantasy -

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horatio_Alger_myth

[Caliman73]

37. Because they think that they can eventually reach that level.

We have all been exposed to the conditioning that "if you work hard enough, you can become rich." We are also conditioned to see government involvement as a obstacle to all that "hard work" in order to give chances to people who don't work as hard. Liberals tend to grow out of that and tend to want a more collective improvement in life for everyone, which implies that everyone's lot improves, but individual people do not get significantly more than one another. To a conservative that is not acceptable.

The Republicans have tapped into the self preserving instinct in people which pushes them to see their struggles as a direct result of a scapegoat rather than as a mix of internal and external situations. Success is internalized. "If I make it,it is because of my talent and hard work." Failure is externalized, "If I don't make it, it is because someone else (government/immigrants/Blacks/etc...) have caused me to fail." Conversely, they see the success of others, mainly groups that they deem "less worthy" to succeed only as a result of hand outs, while viewing the failure of said "unworthy people" as a natural result of their inferiority.

[AnArmyVeteran]

26. Good analysis of the tea bagging wrong wingers...

[Child_Of_Isis]

28. wrong wingers...lol

say wrong wingers fast 10 times...

[AnArmyVeteran]

41. Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! Dumb!

There, I did it! :)

[RagAss]

30. This is Right Wing Authoritative Disorder to a T !

[bvar22]

32. Good Job....K&R

:patriot:

[Dr. Strange]

33. This is disgusting, MrScorpio.

I love Sarah... Because she's a woman of God and her faith guides her hand.

I thought sex threads weren't allowed.

[baldguy]

34. Channeling your inner freeper?

[fascisthunter]

35. The Real Tea Party was Opposed to Corporate/Government collusion

these idiots have been suckered into thinking they have a noble-American cause, when in fact, they are fascist tools of the wealthy class.

[LeftyFingerPop]

36. Great post. Complete contradictions reduced to talking points...

that require a bit of thought to see the enormity of the contradiction.

The problem is that 99% of the American population would not recognize the contradictions because they require one to move only slightly past the mental process required to absorb a sound byte.

KNR.

:kick:

[Dr Morbius]

38. No, I disagree.

We accept contradictions readily if we can explain them away, so we develop the ability to explain away contradictions. We want to have everything and feel good about it, so we embrace dichotomy. We all do this, to some degree. I want to save my planet, but I buy stuff in plastic packaging (I buy cheap groceries and make no apology for it - I've no choice). The difference between the left and the right, really, is that the left doesn't allow such a dichotomy to interfere with how we treat one another. Or maybe that the left sees the role of government with different contradictions than the right does.

[LeftyFingerPop]

39. I disagree...

Personally, I don't explain away contradictions, I recognize them. I want to save my planet also, so I shop with a reusable canvas bag.

In situations where I do something contrary to my beliefs, I recognize that I am being contrary.

:hi:

[Curmudgeoness]

40. Well done---sarcasm like this makes me smile. And cry.

Too sad that this could possibly be a real post by one of those patriotic Americans.