I'm at a wedding, and my uncle's right wing friend approaches me.

[ithinkmyliverhurts]

He's a nice enough guy, I suppose. He's educated (an MBA) and likes to be super-macho conservative--guns, hunting, private property, anti-immigration. But I digress.

So he comes up to me (he's about 8-9 years older than I; that would put him between 35-55), we're in a church after the wedding service itself (some sort of Protestant sect); it's been about 7-8 years since we last saw each other. He knows my political ways, knows that I'm religious (he knows better than to argue theology with me, so he never really goes there), and he knows that I'm pretty laid back about things, so he feels free to try to make political jokes while still trying to make his point (all done in good humor of course. OF COURSE!!!).

So he comes up to me, smile spread across his mustachioed face, winks at my uncle (who is also repub.), and says to me, "So, you still liberal?" "Last time I checked." His smile gets even bigger (which means he's just read a really witty email and/or bumper sticker and is going to zing me with it). "You know, God is a Republican." Without missing a beat, without cracking a smile, I respond, "Well, that would explain all the starving people in Africa."

"I suggest we stop now, cause I can do this all night." We talked about the weather in my part of the country.

[Vickers]

1. Har!

K&R

[roguevalley]

37. right now, with all the shit going on, I would have killed him with a spoon.

[happygoluckytoyou]

77. IN A RELATED STORY... it would explain how a virgin was pregnant but doesn't explain 3 wise men

[zipplewrath]

2. And his kid was a liberal

How many times does THAT happen.

[Lifelong Protester]

46. I'm sorta dense, took me a couple of reads to get your reply

and then I laughed my head off! That is a great comeback also!

[zipplewrath]

57. Fairly indisputable

The biblical character known as Jesus Christ was definitely a "liberal". One can dispute various positions of modern day liberalism and their consistency with the Jesus. But the over arching reality is that many of the stories that are told are "liberal" in nature. From the miracle of the wine at the wedding to healing the ear of the soldier come to arrest him. And in between he sided with the prostitute, dined with the tax collector, advocated for the "good samaritan", rendered unto Ceasar (a direct comment upon taxes), and ministered to the sick and the out cast. He preached love, and respect and mostly just got really pissed at the money changers.

[Lifelong Protester]

92. Oh, and I agree with you. I was laughing at my denseness.

I first thought you were referring to the relative at the OP's wedding encounter having a lib son. Then I got your meaning and laughed at myself for being kind of slow today.

[nxylas]

52. More often than you think, I suspect

I grew up in a conservative household and my politics were pretty right-wing until I grew up and started thinking for myself. I don't think I'm that unusual either.

[Chulanowa]

3. Ouch!

Damn, I gotta crib that one

[IADEMO2004]

6. Mushroom Cloud

[JuniperLea]

4. Snappy comeback!

Love it!

The follow up would naturally have to be that Jesus was a socialist:)

[hlthe2b]

5. Good one.

:toast:

I love it when all it takes is a single witty retort to shut them up.

[Berserker]

7. I think I am fucked

I am for guns, I like and support hunting, I am against Illegal immigration, I respect private property, I have a mustache and I am a Democrat. Wow will I be tomb stoned now?

[Warren DeMontague]

9. Only because of the mustache.

[Berserker]

11. AWWW fuck I knew

that would sink me.

[rucky]

10. Not if you shave.

:evilgrin:

[ithinkmyliverhurts]

13. Hah, hah. Funny.

Again, I'm laid back. I've got Democratic relatives who would fit right in with you. I don't hunt, don't have a gun, but don't really care one way or another. I think mustaches are simply awesome when kept a la Burt Reynolds 1970's. I'm writing this from my private property, though I am stealing my neighbor's bandwith. I think illegal immigration is silly in a country as prosperous as ours. But, again, meh.

I think it's great that a woman like you breaks down gender stereotypes by adopting all of these traditionally male issues as your own. It's refreshing.

[Walk away]

15. no, but I can't believe I don't have you on "ignore".....

I must be slipping. The 'stash is the nail in the coffin!

[whatwasthequestion]

17. I was concerned to about joining in

but....I don't have a mustache....? You two ever have an "agree to disagree" discussion. Me and a cousin spend the entire Holidays going back and forth in some thought provoking "arguments" taking up were we left off at the latest family gathering. Neither has budged, but we each understand why the other person holds their views and look forward to the next gathering.

[eagertolearn]

80. The difference is did you believe Obama was going to steal your guns?

[Warren DeMontague]

8. "...And so is the Easter Bunny, King Kong, And The Leprechaun Riding That unicorn

whose invisible horn is in your ass, dude."


"...Your point?"

[Itchinjim]

12. Ha!

That left a mark!

[awoke_in_2003]

14. Oh shit...

to bad you didn't have a camera, I would love to see the look on his face after that.

[SoxFan]

16. Nothing good can comeof a mustache

[Mendocino]

20. An exception: Charlie Chaplin had one.

at least in his films. :{)

[SoxFan]

22. Yeah, but so did Tom Selleck

[Mendocino]

23. I'll raise you a

Lech Walsea, Fritjof Nansen and a Grover Cleveland.

[glitch]

30. Tom Selleck is trump.

I kid, he's a rightwinger if I recall correctly which means he loses his trumpability.

[pipi_k]

33. Well, I'll see your Lech Walesa, Fritjof Nansen and Grover Cleveland and raise you

my Great Grandmother Nellie.

[Mendocino]

34. Hah!

Mother Teresa! Blackjack

[Moonwalk]

87. And I'll put down a full-house with the greatest Republican Liberal of all....

Yeah, he as a bit of war-monger and a member of the Republican party (which at that time was in many ways more liberal that the Democrats--as he invited a black man to the White House!), but this IS the man who broke up the monopolies, regulated the meat packing industry, created and protected federal land from exploitation and environmental destruction, and, if nothing else, was the inspiration for both FDR and Eleanor Roosevelt.

I'm not a mustache fan myself, but Theo proves that it can lead to good, sometimes.

[cachukis]

89. Nansen was the Balls.

[Mendocino]

90. A true Renaissance Man

Athlete and outdoorsman, polar explorer, mentor to Roald Amundsen, scientist, oceanographer, statesman, ambassador, writer, humanitarian, won the 1922 Nobel Peace prize.

The world does not see this kind of person anymore.

[ithinkmyliverhurts]

35. Damnit, people, I said Burt Reynolds

[Occulus]

48. That needs a WARNING

:scared:

[sasquuatch55]

79. Groucho had one painted on.

nt

[Mendocino]

18. So if god is a republican,

that explains all the hate, misogyny, xenophobia, guilt, and vengeance in the OT then?

[roody]

19. My dad tried to start with me. He said that

Pelosi sure likes to spend her constituents money. I said, "I know. She has voted to fund the wars every time." The subject was dropped.

[mwb970]

21. There is no point in speaking with right-wingers about politics.

It is a complete, absolute, total waste of your breath and time. They are lost, and you will never be able to reach or help them. Never. They like being in a bubble. They like worshipping worthless people like Beck and Palin. As far as I can tell, they like being filled with fear and hate. They have no other life than this, the poor wretches.

Your mission is to change the subject and thank the gods that you are not a conservative.

[AnneD]

60. Amen.....

I have finally learned this. I live in Texas (in a blue zone), but am up to my armpits in RW nut jobs. Mom has been addled by the AZ. heat and Fox so I am just respectable as I can be (she knows how I feel). My brothers are more Libertarian so we can find common ground.

The only thing that changes these folks view point is a life altering change, and even then they sometimes don't make the connection. Hate to be pessimistic, but I don't hold out much hope for us-I think we are on the way to extinction as a species. We have lost that which helped us to survive.

[wolfgangmo]

64. Are you sure that we are on our way to extinction?

I think there is hope. I just don't think that it is doing very "hopey" right now in the US, and especially in parts of Texas. But there are areas where the environmental damage etc might not kill us all off.

[AnneD]

93. Yes I believe we are on our way toward extinction.......

as a species. We have been on the scene for a very short time geologically speaking. And yet in this short time we have irrevocably altered our environment via greenhouse gas, etc. Now add to that mix the natural alterations such as volcanoes and earthquakes. The quake that occurred in Thailand that caused those awful tsunamis gave us low, deep, long shock waves which we had never seen before. I think this is causing a cascade effect from which we will not recover. We are in a downward spiral Will we notice in 10 years? Maybe, maybe not, but the further down the spiral we go-the faster the changes will happen. But we will start seeing widespread weather changes that will cause drought and famine along with flooding in areas that here to fore did nor flood. Eventual there will be migration on a massive scale. We will go the way of the dinosaur. Despite what creationist would have us believe, evolution is very real and we are subject to it. To assume we are above it is the height of arrogance. We are no more special than any other creature.

[wolfgangmo]

63. I disagree.

But then again like many liberals I believe in redemption. To believe that a class of people is beyond redemption is a republican't trait. No one is un reachable or un reformable. It just so happens that YOU can't change anyone else. Change must originate from within.

And as such you may very well be wasting your time and breath. Stop trying to change them and thing of it more of an opportunity to plant the seeds of change. It more about relationships that winning.

That is just my opinion - feel free to pursue whatever course you find fulfilling.

[mazzarro]

71. That was great!

Yes - everytime repugs talked about wasteful government spending they habitually do not include their sacred cow - the military and wars - why?

[Mad_Dem_X]

24. BAM! Great comeback!

"I suggest we stop now, cause I can do this all night." Loved that, too.

[stuntcat]

25. Dang!

:headbang:

[donco6]

26. I can never do that.

It would take me an hour, and then I'd think of six.

Good one! LOL!

[alphafemale]

27. Even if God was a Repulican...

His son was a Liberal

[ShamelessHussy]

28. lol

nice :toast:

[jmondine]

29. Super-macho conservative. Is there any other kind?

[glitch]

31. Super-macho-wannabe conservative. You did ask. nt

[ithinkmyliverhurts]

39. The wall-street conservative.

His $$$ is the bottom-line.

[Patiod]

78. Living in a rich suburb, I actually know more of those types

not gun owners, nothing against homosexuals, not particularly religious -- well, except their religion of Free Markets Now, Free Markets in the Future, Free Markets Forever.

Totally Unrestrained Capitalism is their only real issue - anti-union, anti-regulation, anti-tax.

[MindandSoul]

32. Quick thinking! Good for you!

[kgnu_fan]

36. And Pope defends "Him"

[GreenPartyVoter]

38. Dang! I could never have pulled tht off.

:yourock:

[raccoon]

40. Good going! nt

[revolution breeze]

41. What a great response. n/t

[wizstars]

42. So then, why is His Son a Jewish liberal???

:P

I like your rejoinder, too!! :yourock:

[montanto]

43. Nicely done!

[Soylent Brice]

44. PHENOMENAL.

:applause:

[Froward69]

45. God may be a republican... however Jesus is a Liberal.

Generational rebellion?

[Occulus]

47. You said "He's educated" and then said "(an MBA)".

You really shouldn't contradict yourself like that!

:D

[Chan790]

51. Hey!!!

I'm working on my MBA; concentration in NPO management.

[wolfgangmo]

67. Right.

So you should know better.

MBA's, IMHO, suffer from experts syndrome; the degree with which someone with a great degree of education in a narrow field of study is an expert is inverse to their unjustified belief that they are experts in all fields of study. In other words MBA's tend to be well educated in 1 field of study and many of them somehow decide that their MBA makes them experts in all fields of study.

Just sayin that you should know better.

[liberation]

72. It works both ways...

... some people think their lack of formal education allows them to make all sorts of generalizations regarding those who decided to "waste" their time pursuing formal sources of knowledge.

Besides MBAs are not really a "formal" education venue, as they are for the most part contact building workshops, with academic and theoretical concerns coming at a distant second or even third place.


People with PhDs, however, we're the ones who don't know jack... but the view from our ivory towers is awesome, plus we get free wifi.

[drmeow]

49. Alternative to the "Jesus is a liberal"

response - "And Jesus was a community organizer."

[mrfocus]

50. Awesome comeback....

Congrats...maybe we should start a thread with "best comebacks to Republican/Conservative inanity"

[BlancheSplanchnik]

62. start it!

Great idea!

especially for the quick-retorts-to-absolute-stupidity challenged, like me. Maybe it's ADD, but I can't verbalize my thoughts very well. Drives me nuts--I know they're misguided fact-less blinded ideologues, but I can never think of a reply. I do better online, where I have time to think and fact-check.

[asdjrocky]

53. Assuming a God...

I'm sure he/she would not see fit to belong to either main party.

[janet118]

54. We need a Snappy Comeback Cheat Sheet . . .

for those of us not so quick on our feet.

[DesertDiamond]

55. OMBG!!! You ROCK!!! I'm going to remember that one!!!

[krispos42]

56. !!!

:spray:

:rofl:


I'm going to remember that one!

[marions ghost]

58. Excellent!

:toast:

My old 82 yr-old-dad lives in a very conservative small-town area, but he's a liberal (journalist originally). He's had people come up and say, "So I hear you're a Liberal?" (with some put-down in mind for when he says yes). So now he says, "No I'm not a liberal, I'm a radical!" And he puts on this wicked, I want to pluck-your-eyes out kind of cold stare. They give it up instantly...

[AnneD]

59. Classic case of...

Jokus interruptious. Good on ya mate. :spray:

[EVDebs]

61. H L Menken's quote

HL Mencken: "In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican."

[LynneSin]

65. Seriously, at a family event I try to to discuss things like Politics or Religion

Especially a wedding - it's not about Obama or the GOP - it's about a couple wanting celebrate their marriage with family. I'd rather not get into a political fight with something stupid.

[The Backlash Cometh]

66. I would never have your poise.

I envy you.

[Toucano]

68. Wait a minute!

How come he's "8-9 years older" than you, but he could be "35 or 55"?

LOL!

That means we can assume you could be 26 but you might be 47.

[beac]

69. Well done!

:applause:

[Xenotime]

70. Yea!!! Way to shove it down his throat.

[Political_Junkie]

73. That's awesome!

Wish I could think that fast.

[BrklynLiberal]

74. fan-TAS-tic! Just gorgeous. a three-pointer from way behind the midline...

:thumbsup: :headbang: :fistbump: :yourock: :woohoo: :applause:

[DesertFlower]

75. good for you.

if jesus were around today, i know he'd be a democrat.

[DesertFlower]

76. fortunately i come from a democratic family.

my grandfather was president of a democratic club most of his life.

unfortunately my in-laws (who are gone now) were republicans. thank god hubby can think for himself. his sister is a repub.

[Divine Discontent]

91. ditto. the few that are GOP in my list of relatives really have no clue about the facts of what is

going on, and apparently either pay little attention to the details, or get their 'facts' from Faux.

[ZombieHorde]

81. Awesome! nt

[WillyT]

82. Bravo !!! - K & R !!!

:rofl:

:applause:

:kick:

:hi:

[Jeffersons Ghost]

83. K&R

[craigmatic]

84. nice wit

[southernyankeebelle]

85. When I have a bible thumper tell me something like that I say to them Gee, God is really mad at you

republicans for screwing the country so bad that he made sure a Black democrat won the election. He thought you all might need to learn how to be more humble and stop hijacking god. That usually shuts them up.

[davidwparker]

86. "Well, that would explain all the starving people in Africa." - Oh, SNAP! n/t

[HughMoran]

88. Nice retort

:)