What the Republicans are really saying is that BP is God

[NNN0LHI]

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/06/04/AR2010060402701.html?hpid=opinionsbox1

If oil spill is 'an act of God,' BP merits divine retribution

By Dana Milbank

Sunday, June 6, 2010

God spoke to Moses through a burning bush on Mount Horeb. He apparently speaks to Republicans through a spewing oil well at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico.

Rep. Tom Cole (R-Okla.) delivered the startling revelation last week that the BP oil spill was caused not by a faulty blowout preventer but by the Almighty Himself. He explained the spill to an Oklahoma City radio station like this: "Acts of God are acts of God." With this curious theology, Cole has joined the ministry of Texas Gov. Rick Perry, a fellow Republican, who last month said of the oil spill: "From time to time there are going to be things that occur that are acts of God that cannot be prevented."

So if God is responsible for the spill, and BP is the spill's "responsible party," what these men are really saying is that BP is . . . God?

This interpretation is at the very cutting edge of ecclesiastical thought. In the past, our Heavenly Father has involved himself in floods, droughts and the occasional earthquake, but this may be his first foray into industrial disasters.

The Valdez spill was an act of Exxon. Bhopal was an act of Union Carbide. But the BP spill is an act of God. Oiliness is next to godliness.

[spanone]

1. God didn't poke that hole in the earth, bp did.

[malaise]

5. But but but

oil money is their gawd.

[Scuba]

2. Assuming for a minute....

...that there is a God, he/she sure doesn't seem to like people very much.

How's that Prayin' for Peace thing workin' for ya?

[Tsiyu]

3. This time, The Almighty had to cut corners

He made the world in six days, but these damned oil rigs were taking months to get up and running properly.

Gawd sed: "I, Gawd, em sick of reggalations. I em sick of pelikans and dolfins and pesky fishermen too.

I know. No more workin blow out perventers!

That'll take care of it"

And it was done as Gawd commanded. And the profits were great. And there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. And death and destruction.

Jest like Gawd likes it.

It's all in the Bobble if'n you peeple will reed it ever...

[SpiralHawk]

4. But I thought the Republicons already had Rev. 'Second Coming' Moon as their god?

I mean, can a Republicon really have TWO gods at the same time?

Or is this a part of the Trinity Mystery where you need Republicon-style New Math or Glenn Beck (R-chickenhawk) to understand?

[blindpig]

6. No, Mammon is god of Capital

Kill Capitalism