BEAKING! World Faces Grave Chicken Shortage! Chicken Rationing Certain To Follow!

[BlooInBloo]

This story is gonna get even better, before it gets worse, folks. :rofl:

http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/04/fowl-math-for-a-chicken-based-economy.php?ref=fpa

"Total U.S. health care costs in 2008: $2.3 trillion
US population: About 300 million
Average cost of health care per person: $7,681
Average weight of a chicken: 5.9 lbs
Market price per pound: 85 cents
Average spot price per chicken: $5.02
Average number of chickens per resident needed to cover health care costs: 1,530 chickens
Total number of chickens needed to cover United States health care costs: 459 billion chickens
Estimated worldwide chicken population: 16 billion chickens
Current worldwide chicken shortage to cover U.S. health care: 443 billion cluckers"

[rucky]

1. Can I change my deductible to goats, without having to reapply?

[jody]

2. There's no shortage of Chicken Manure. n/t

[FSogol]

3. Oh NOES111!1 How will I pay my doctor? IM CERES!11

[malaise]

4. BEAKING

Bwaaaaaaaaaaaah hahahahahaha :rofl:

[BlooInBloo]

7. It started as an honest-to-gawd typo. Then I thought better of correcting it.

:P

[malaise]

17. LOL

Even better. :D

[Lagomorph]

60. Absolutely!

+1

[renate]

62. I wish I could give this an extra k&r just for "beaking"

:rofl:

[BlooInBloo]

64. I wish my nick was "cordate", just to complement yours.

[leeroysphitz]

5. This is serious.

[pinboy3niner]

6. EGGSactly!

:rofl:

[mindwalker_i]

31. Now that was a little ova the top

[mzteris]

8. CHICKENS UNITE!!

All chickens should protest and go on strike. (Please be sure to check spelling on all your signs.)

[BlooInBloo]

9. Everytime you vote for a republican, god kills a baby chicky.

Save teh peeps!

[OHdem10]

10. I love it!!!

[Arctic Dave]

11. Don't get fooled by counterfeit chickens.

[BrklynLiberal]

24. Didn't see this when I posted. Great minds..I guess.

:thumbsup: :hi:

[Arctic Dave]

43. Damn, I thought I was being original.

x(

[BrklynLiberal]

45. You were. Yours was first.

:thumbsup: :hi:

[rocktivity]

12. Get your orders in now--click on the pic to avoid the November rush and price increase

:crazy:
rocktivity

[madinmaryland]

13. OH SHIT!! All those chicken, and all the corn flakes needed to bread that chicken

will cause a corn flakes shortage!!

[Gman2]

14. Chicken Inspector, shave and a haircut, ten cents. rimshot.

[rocktivity]

51. One rimshot, coming up!

rocktivity

[naaman fletcher]

15. I think your spot price per chicken is way too high.

I buy fully cooked ones for around that price.

[pscot]

40. Excellent analysis

Given a more realistic spot price of $.40 per pond, the annual chicken shortfall could excede 1 trillion within 10 years, and that's not chopped liver.

[CatWoman]

16. DAMN

I better stock up on chicken wings

NOW!!

:)

[Patsy Stone]

18. The world will go into immediate

McNugget withdrawl. That's gonna get ugly fast.

Thanks for finding this gem. K&R

[BlooInBloo]

19. Actually, nuggets have nothing to do with chicken - so no worries on that front.

:P

[Patsy Stone]

20. ...

:rofl:

[Contrary1]

21. Shouldn't that be "gravy chicken shortage"? n/t

[BrklynLiberal]

22. Lots of DUzys here....

[BrklynLiberal]

23. Beware of counterfeits!!!!

[AnArmyVeteran]

Are PEEPS valid for payment to doctors?

[BrklynLiberal]

42. I guess it would be up to the individual practitioner...

:rofl:

[AnArmyVeteran]

49. When you pay with a $50 bill, they use a pen to see if it's real, but how do they check a chicken?

Do they have a pen to rub over a chicken to make sure it's real? I guess if you just came from the chicken bank your chicken is probably not counterfeit.

[BrklynLiberal]

50. Which makes me think of this......

A woman walked into a very busy butcher's shop. Looking at meats and poultry on display, she suddenly grabbed hold of a dressed chicken, she picked up one wing, sniffed it, picked up the other wing and sniffed it, picked up one leg, sniffed it, picked up the other leg, sniffed it. Just as she finished sniffing the second leg, the butcher walked up to her and said, "Madam, could -you- pass such a test?"

[scarletwoman]

25. In view of this crisis, I expect all you men to step up to the plate and pledge

to stop choking the chicken.

[BlooInBloo]

26. Hey! You can take my chicken from my cold dead hand!

Well, except there's probably laws against that. Eew.

:rofl:

[Mari333]

36. super DUZY

[myrna minx]

61. Leave it to you to win the internet!

:hi:

[scarletwoman]

70. Oh dear!

Couldn't I just win a chicken instead? ;)

:hi:
sw

[malaise]

27. Rachel is going to have some fun on this as well

:fistbump:

[Mari333]

29. she already is hahahaha

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=385x458190#458249

[BlooInBloo]

30. Aw damn missed it watching the draft. :(

[malaise]

44. She had more fun again tonight

:D

[Mari333]

28. hahahaha

[Sancho]

32. I bought chicken derivatives! I may be the first US chicken billionaire!

Sorry, got to go to the store for some chicken wire and feed...

[spanone]

33. it will be hugh!!!! can i use my chickens at walgreens?

[AnnieBW]

34. Buy stock in Perdue and Chik-Fil-A!

And the Chik-Fil-A cows will be painting "Spend more chikkens" on everything!

[AnnieBW]

35. Pro-Lifers will be protesting at Denny's

Because every time you crack an egg, you're aborting a chicken fetus!

[Mari333]

37. why did the chicken cross the road?

can I use a chicken at my ATM>?

[BlooInBloo]

38. I don't get it, but I lol'd anyway.

:)

[rocktivity]

54. More to the point, since Sue Lowden is a casino exec

How do you get a chicken into a slot machine?

:eyes:
rocktivity

[James48]

39. Average chickens don't weigh 5.9 pounds.

At least, not at market price. By the time they get to market, the average chicken (fryers) weigh only about 3 pounds.

Broilers and Fryers, by U.S. government regulation, fall between 2 1/2 and 4 pounds.

http://www.fsis.usda.gov/factsheets/chicken_food_safety_focus/index.asp

In fact, the weight of a chicken was part of a significant legal case (at least to the participants) more than 40 years ago.

http://law.scu.edu/FacWebPage/Neustadter/contractsebook/main/cases/FrigalimentInterp.html

And while it is possible that a chicken can grow to 5.9 pounds, the vast majority of chickens which are eaten in this country are of the smaller, younger, Broiler or Fryer classes.



In short- I think we need to double the amount of chickens you are talking about here.

[AnArmyVeteran]

41. Chicken payments will increase health care costs! But be a boom for employment!

All doctors will be mandated by republican law to have chicken coops in their offices or hospitals. Chicken handlers, feeders and veterinarians will have to be hired to keep the chickens flowing. Truck drivers would have to hired to transport the chickens to processing plants or markets.

Hell, now that I think about it, this chicken payment system will lead to a boom in employment.

[pipi_k]

46. Well I'm not waiting for the chicken crisis to hit

Turkey bartering will be the next big thing and I've got mine...

[rocktivity]

55. Sorry, Sarah Palin's already beaten you to it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VCBCoZY1vM

:headbang:
rocktivity

[pipi_k]

58. Yeah, but...

she's so stupid she doesn't realize that dead turkeys don't propagate...


:+

[shugah]

47. rec'ing just for the "BEAKING" n/t

[Sancho]

48. Is Fox watching the chicken coop?

Maybe Glen Beck has a chicken shit comment...

[Cresent City Kid]

52. I think I can solve the chicken shortage

We can keep the real chickens in Fort Knox, redeemable for paper chicken notes.

[BlooInBloo]

53. We'll move to The Chicken Standard! Genius!!!

[jmondine]

56. Are we going to have to bail out KFC?

[jmondine]

57. The WH will replace Tim Geithner with Foghorn Leghorn

[Bobbie Jo]

59. The Bovine Coalition responds...

[Born_A_Truman]

63. Don Tyson sending lobbyists to congress ASAP!!

Tyson Foods calls fowl:

No plucking way will we take this lying down!

[scarletwoman]

67. You mean *laying* down, don't you?

[wizstars]

65. Sell your KFC stock NOW!! n/t

[era veteran]

66. This smells foul to me

Barnyard pimps on the run.

[Naturalist111]

68. I am going to invest in chicken feed!

[flvegan]

69. This is a conspiracy against vegans!

Animals are not ours to eat, wear, experiment on, use for entertainment nor use for currency!