You've Got To Be Carefully Taught

NanceGreggs

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Wed Apr-07-10 07:57 PM
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You've Got To Be Carefully Taught

Edited on Wed Apr-07-10 08:23 PM by NanceGreggs

It is obvious that in view of the current state of the nation, the story of Constance McMillen may seem unimportant – that in the great scheme of things, a young girl’s tale of a disastrous prom night doesn’t deserve yet another retelling, by me or anyone else.

And in most other circumstances, I would tend to agree.

But there is this: When you think about everything that ails us as a nation, and as a global community – aggression, war, torture, corporate greed, a lack of empathy towards others, a sense of entitlement to power – and trace them back to their beginnings, you will undoubtedly find the kind of meanness of spirit that Constance was subjected to at the very core of the cancer that continues to creep, unabated, throughout the body of humankind.

Having been denied access to her own prom because, as a lesbian, she intended to bring her girlfriend as her date, Ms. McMillen – with the able assistance of the ACLU – had her day in court, and was told by school officials that her prom had been officially cancelled. Of course, that “official prom” was later reinstated, or so it seemed - until
Ms. McMillen arrived at the event and realized that she, along with seven others, were the only attendees.

In the meantime, students, teachers and parents had arranged for an “alternate prom” – one to which Ms. McMillen was decidedly not invited.

To say that none of this could have taken place without a massive effort on the part of said teachers, students and their parents is stating the obvious. And not quite satisfied with things as they were, insult to injury had to be added – as the students who attended the “alternate prom” posted their photos on Facebook, delighted by the fact that they’d managed to pull the wool over McMillen’s eyes.

The fact that two students with learning disabilities were also directed to attend McMillen’s “official prom” speaks volumes about a community that apparently decided that people who are different, by virtue of their sexuality or their disabilities, are equally deserving of exclusion.

Looking at these students from the vantage point of my advanced years, I see them as “kids” – not in the sense that they are immature, incapable of adult behavior, or not old enough to accept responsibility.

I say it in the sense that their young minds are still open to persuasion, malleable, capable of being led in the right direction, or misled into believing that the lessons recently taught by their parents and teachers – i.e. that discrimination is acceptable, that circumventing the law is completely permissible, that those who are “different” are deserving of exclusion from society, that downright meanness is somehow a good Christian value – are lessons that should be taken to heart.

And there was another lesson offered up as part and parcel of the aforementioned; the lesson that choosing to stand up for what you personally believe to be just and fair can have its consequences as well.

I think it safe to assume that not all Ms. McMillen’s fellow students felt that the actions of their parents and teachers was appropriate or justifiable. But once the mob mentality was allowed to take hold, (and the writing was on the Facebook wall, if you will), the choice presented was clear: you either stand with the perpetrators, or you stand with the victim – and, in doing the latter, you are fair game for the same kind of ridicule Ms. McMillen was subjected to.

Those of us who are politically active often comment on the policies of our elected officials; we opine on the greed of corporate powers-that-be, we wonder how some people can be so callous in their speech, so unethical in their business dealings, so lacking in sympathy towards their fellow citizens.

We ponder what kind of upbringing, what kind of family background could lead to such easy dismissal of the rules of law – as well as the rules of simple decency. We wonder how self-proclaimed “Christians” can be so bereft of empathy, so brazenly selfish, so without regard for the wellbeing of others – and not even seem to be aware that they live their lives in complete contradiction to the religious tenets they publicly pride themselves as adhering to.

This is where it starts. It begins with accepting discrimination, on any grounds, followed by a pat-on-the-back from parents, teachers, and the community-at-large for having done so. It is encouraged by a wink-wink/nod-nod, don’t worry, you’re one of US mentality given free rein. It is nurtured by a pseudo-Christian philosophy that says the end always justifies the means – even if you have to break a few commandments here and there along the way. It is allowed to flourish when otherwise good kids are taught how to go along to get along, lest they find themselves on the receiving end of the next round of harassment and ridicule.

And where does it end? I think we all know the answer to that question.

It ends with an insurance company CEO who feels entitled to a multi-million dollar salary, even if it comes at the price of thousands of people denied healthcare. It ends with crooked politicians who firmly believe the law is something to be twisted to their personal satisfaction, or ignored entirely because they are above it. It ends with warmongers calling for the deaths of those whose religion or color renders them somehow inferior because they are “different” . It ends with people who, once having attained some form of political or monetary power, use that power to live as they have been, oh, so carefully taught – with regard only to their own ambitions, and without regard to anyone else.

It ends with some of those things, many of those things, all of those things – and sometimes it even ends with a twenty-one-year-old kid, beaten and tortured, tied to a fence and left to die.

It is for this reason I personally believe that Ms. McMillen’s story deserves national attention, and careful scrutiny. Her story is but one tale – but there are others that will, unfortunately, go forever untold.

It may strike some that I am being overly dramatic in stating my case – or, more to the point, supporting Constance’s case.

But I have lived long enough to see the outcome of discrimination, of hatred, of so-called “Christianity” being used as a shield to protect behavior that is so clearly contrary to the teachings of Christ.

I have seen its genesis in incidents like the one at-hand, and understand that if weeds are not uprooted and exposed to the light of day, the garden stands little chance of reaching the full promise of its potential beauty, and its ultimate perfection.

“You've got to be taught to hate and fear, you've got to be taught from year to year,
it's got to be drummed in your dear little ear, you've got to be carefully taught.”*

*Rodgers & Hammerstein, “South Pacific”

I wonder which prom Jesus would attend?