Texas Megachurch to Give Out Cars, TVs at Easter Services

[saigon68]

Source: The Christian Post

Sixteen cars, 15 flat-screen televisions, furniture sets and other prizes are lined up at Bay Area Fellowship Church and ready to be claimed by anyone who attends the church's Easter services on Sunday.

Though the church of some 7,000 weekly attendees has regularly flexed its creative muscles to draw the unchurched, the upcoming "Ultimate Giveaway" is like no other outreach it has ever attempted.

Pastor Bil Cornelius, who made the game show analogy, admits it's a bit "outrageous." But he sees it as "an opportunity to share Christ with people who may never go to a church for any reason," he told The Christian Post.

The prizes are worth over $2 million and are all donated items or sponsored by members of the church. Pastor Cornelius asked the congregation to give and to get their businesses involved for the bold effort. Bay Area members signed up to give cars, bikes, laptops, gym memberships and other gifts.



Read more: http://www.christianpost.com/article/20100402/texas-megachurch-to-give-out-cars-tvs-at-easter-services/index.html

---

Only in Texas---Everything is BIGGER there

Ratzinger needs to get with the program-- all his guys give away is_____________(Insert Medical STD here)

[ericinne]

1. Is Oprah gonna be there?

It wouldn't be complete unless Oprah was there to say "OK Parishioners, look under your pews, Jesus has a special surprise for some of you.. GOOOOOOO JEEEEESSSSSUUUSSS!!!

[zeemike]

2. Talk about money changers in the temple.

If Jesus came back and went to that church he would need some help to chase those money changer out.

[no_hypocrisy]

3. Isn't the ultimate Christian "give away" the resurrection after death for all believers.

How could you top that?

[Bill McBlueState]

6. i know --

If the Christian message were true, it would be the best news you could possibly hear. So I don't understand why the evangelical movement feels the need to resort to all these goofy tactics to spread the word.

[Arkansas Granny]

11. Because, in many cases, it's all about the membership and the money

that they can talk people into dropping into the collection plate.

[pattmarty]

4. "Catholic church to give away used altar boys"

:sarcasm:

[Liberal Veteran]

5. Tacky.

That is all.

[rurallib]

7. how 'bout some directions?

[peekaloo]

8. If you all would please open your hymn books to page 12 and sing along.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-GFqhCq2HA

[Historic NY]

9. "Thank you Jesus"........

:evilfrown: I've come for the TEE-VEE & Jaguar.

[CanonRay]

10. "Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz

my friends, they all have them I must make amends."

[rsmith6621]

12. WHAT ABOUT FEEDING THE HUNGRY.....

.......Sorry....I forgot that is the governments responsibility... It's all about the church and not about the people anymore...

Jesus is not HAPPY.

[divvy]

13. I would expect guns and lifetime NRA memberships to be included

Which heat would Jesus pack?

[skoalyman]

14. probable a nuke tipped rocket launcher

:nuke:

[protocol rv]

15. Oh Lord, won't you buy me, a Mercedes Benz

Christianity is such a nice religion. It can be tailor made for the customer, like a custom built house. So if you want a materialistic church, they got them in the USA all over the place. They even have preachers whose main pitch is you follow Jesus and Jesus will make you rich. I guess they forgot about the camel story.

And this is why I can't be a Christian, it's opium for the masses, that is all.

[Javaman]

16. A neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwww CAR!!!

Game show host Jesus, wears a loud suit and a $1000 hair cut. He intones to the audience.

Jesus: Now, Mrs. Hazmahaz, You have already won the golden wafer, the weekend cruse for two to the holy wine country and the diamond studded rosary beads, do you want to risk it all for what's behind the holy mirrored vestment?

Mrs. Hazmahaz: Dang, I don't know, Mr. Jesus.

Jesus: That's Mr. Christ, but you can call me J.

Mrs. Hazmahaz gets bit flustered and beams at Jesus.

Mrs. Hazmahaz: Okay...J.

(she giggles nervously, blushes and smiles excitedly, like someone meeting their favorite teen rock star)

Jesus looks around the audience.

Jesus: So what do you folks think? Vestments ooooorrrrr...

Jesus whips out an envelope sealed with a golden cross.

Jesus: (Cont'd) (slyly) Or what I have in this envelope?

Mrs. Hazmahaz squeals.

Mrs. Hazmahaz: OHMYGOD! OHMYGOD! OHMYGOD!

Jesus: Hey, let's not bring my dad into this. Ha ha ha!

The audience laughs.

Jesus: Mrs. Hazmahaz, according to the revelation countdown clock, your time is running out. You need to make a choice now!

Mrs. Hazmahaz: Um, er...um...THE VESTMENTS!!!

The Audience goes nuts.

Jesus: The vestments it is, but first let's see what you passed up by not taking the envelope.

Jesus opens it with a swipe, pulls out the contents, reads, then dramatically looks at Mrs. Hazmahaz then to the audience.

Jesus: Oh, Mrs. Hazmahaz, oh dear.

Mrs. Hazmahaz looks worried.

Jesus: (Cont'd) You missed out on a chance to go to the Museum of National History in New York City!

Sad trumpet sound, wah wah wah. The audience laughs, Mrs. Hazmahaz looks relieved.

Jesus: (Cont'd) instead, you will be...

Pulls back vestments.

Jesus: (Cont'd) driving around in your new Car!!! An Escalade!!!!!

Angelic trumpets blare, confetti drops, balloons fall from the ceiling.

Mrs. Hazmahaz grabs Jesus and plants a firm kiss on his mouth.

Mrs. Hazmahaz: Thank you, Jesus!!

Jesus pulls away as Mrs. Hazmahaz runs over to the vehicle.

Jesus: (Cont'd) That's it for today folks, and like I always say, if you can't find happiness, go out and buy it!