I am a paid operative for the DLC.

[LoZoccolo]

I would like to come clean about a number of things:

1. The "shit statement" posts are an integral part of our strategy. We have found them to be the most effective way of getting people to change their minds to our point of view on a message board where people have strongly-held opinions.
2. We have also leveraged the power of push polls. Posting a poll with two simple opposite choices has a significant effect of injecting an opinion into the public mind.
3. In order to appeal to the countercultural rock-and-roll crowd, I have seasoned the posts with praise of the UK rock band Oasis. This has served to "humanize" our propaganda campaign, and carry an air of anti-establishmentarianism even against previous countercultural institutions such as the Beatles. This has provided the single biggest boost to our credibility.
4. We fed the tape of the Dean scream to the media. You will notice that the scream as it was played for days by cable news outlets was not the same one that was carried live.
5. This campaign has effectively worked, as witnessed by the number of recommendations the posts have recieved. There is no need for us to create another sock puppet and start over because the one I am using now is so popular.

[rudy23]

1. Well how could it be true if you're addressing it in such a jocular manner? You convinced me.

The DLC is not paying people to post on here--because it would be as precisely ridiculous as you said. And with your Dennis Kucinich avatar, how could you be on the DLC's side?


Oh I get it, April Fools. I'm so slow.

[blondeatlast]

2. Well...

Scar My Tattered Body No More With Your Punishing Dildo Mallet.


















Yeah, I get it. It's almost clever, even.

[LoZoccolo]

9. I did not know what that meant until this evening.

I was afraid to search for it because I was at work and they would think it was weird.

[Forkboy]

3. I'd say this belongs in the Lounge but I'd hate to inflict you on them.

[LoZoccolo]

5. I forgot one point.

6. Not responding to my own poll questions also adds to the manipulation of public opinion somehow.

[Forkboy]

8. Nah, it's just kind of cowardly.

Doesn't sway the opinion on the issue, just you. I think people should have the guts to just say what they think on an issue, especially when asked and the issue is controversial. Even in disagreement, people who are open tend to be taken more seriously than those who start fires but are then afraid to get near the heat. It's not something I respect, and for me has always been a fairly accurate indicator of the type of person doing so.

And don't forget 7. Start a mod praise thread every now and then to buy some time.

[emulatorloo]

4. Hilarious. Happy April Fools Day n/t

[QC]

6. Odd that anyone would pay for such shoddy work. n/t

[leftstreet]

7. Don't quit your day job n/t