A Pledge for Teabaggers--Git'r Dun

[texastoast]

This was originally posted on DU several months ago, and I apologize, but I don't recall who posted it. If you recognize it as your posting, please link up your original post. I think I tweaked this one just a bit with some great suggestions from other DU'ers.

Anyway, it is a marvelous response to the wingnuts who decry "socialism." I have used it and think it is quite effective in shutting up those poor, misinformed, truly unChristian, in-denial bunch of folks.

*****************************************************************

(This should be done prayerfully.)

I, ________________________, do solemnly swear to uphold the principles of a socialism-free society and heretofore pledge my word that I shall strictly adhere to the following:

I pledge to eliminate all government intervention in my life. I will abstain from the use of and participation in any socialist goods and services including but not limited to the following:

* Social Security

* Medicare/Medicaid

* State Children’s Health Insurance Programs (SCHIP)

* Military, Police, Fire, and Emergency Services

* US Postal Service

* Roads and Highways

* Air Travel (regulated by the socialist FAA)

* The US Railway System

* Public Subways and Metro Systems

* Public Bus and Lightrail Systems

* Rest Areas on Highways

* Sidewalks

* All Government-Funded Local/State Projects (e.g., see state 2009 federal senate appropriations)

* Public Water and Sewer Services (goodbye socialist toilet, shower, dishwasher, kitchen sink, outdoor hose!)

* Public and State Universities and Colleges

* Public Primary and Secondary Schools

* Sesame Street

* Publicly Funded Anti-Drug Use Education for Children

* Public Museums

* Libraries

* Public Parks and Beaches

* State and National Parks

* Public Zoos

* Unemployment Insurance

* Municipal Garbage and Recycling Services

* Treatment at Any Hospital or Clinic That Ever Received Funding From Local, State or Federal Government (pretty much all of them)

* Medical Services and Medications That Were Created or Derived From Any Government Grant or Research Funding (again, pretty much all of them)

* Socialist Byproducts of Government Investment Such as Duct Tape and Velcro (Nazi-NASA Inventions)

* Use of the Internet, email, and networked computers, as the DoD's ARPANET was the basis for subsequent computer networking

* Foodstuffs, Meats, Produce and Crops That Were Grown With, Fed With, Raised With or That Contain Inputs From Crops Grown With Government Subsidies

* Clothing Made from Crops (e.g. cotton) That Were Grown With or That Contain Inputs From Government Subsidies

If a veteran of the government-run socialist US military, I will forego my VA benefits and insist on paying for my own medical care
I will not tour socialist government buildings like the Capitol in Washington, D.C.

I pledge to never take myself, my family, or my children on a tour of the following types of socialist locations, including but not limited to:

* Smithsonian Museums such as the Air and Space Museum or Museum of American History

* The socialist Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson Monuments

* The government-operated Statue of Liberty

* The Grand Canyon

* The socialist World War II and Vietnam Veterans Memorials

* The government-run socialist-propaganda location known as Arlington National Cemetery

* All other public-funded socialist sites, whether it be in my state or in Washington, DC

I will eat only food that has not been inspected and approved by the socialist U.S. Department of Agriculture.

I will take drugs and other medications that have not been subject to the approval by the socialist Food and Drug Administration. That goes for any medical devices implanted in my body.

I will deposit all my money in savings institutions that are not regulated by the socialist FDIC.

I will urge my Member of Congress and Senators to forego their government salary and government-provided healthcare.

I will oppose and condemn the government-funded and therefore socialist military of the United States of America.

I will boycott the products of socialist defense contractors such as GE, Lockheed-Martin, Boeing, Northrop Grumman, General Dynamics, Raytheon, Humana, FedEx, General Motors, Honeywell, and hundreds of others that are paid by our socialist government to produce goods for our socialist army.

I will protest socialist security departments such as the Pentagon, FBI, CIA, Department of Homeland Security, TSA, Department of Justice and their socialist employees.

Upon reaching eligible retirement age, I will tear up my socialist Social Security checks.

Upon reaching age 65, I will forego Medicare and pay for my own private health insurance until I die.

I will complain about the destruction of 1st Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 1st Amendment Rights.

I will complain about the destruction of my 2nd Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 2nd Amendment rights by legally but brazenly brandishing unconcealed firearms in public.

I will foreswear the time-honored principles of fairness, decency, and respect by screaming unintelligible platitudes regarding tyranny, Nazi-ism, and socialism at public town halls.



SWORN ON A BIBLE AND SIGNED THIS DAY OF __________ IN THE YEAR ___.


_____________________________ _________________________
Signed Printed Name/Town and State

[old mark]

1. This should be named the Newt Gingrich proposal - He was famous for

vocal rabid opposition to "big government", yet received federal government money over every phase of his life since childhood, thoughout school and college, as a professor and later as a paid government official. he now derives a great living from his various political action fund raising groups as well as his government pension and whatever he managed to "put aside" during his congressional career.

A truly great American, GOP style.

mark

[Hello_Kitty]

4. So many of them are like that. eom

[texastoast]

5. I just saw your tagline

LMAO!

[old mark]

6. My wife got Ru Paul and Ron Paul mixed up...

Personally, I don't see the resemblance.....


mark

[Lifelong Protester]

2. Wasn't mine, but wish it was

these thoughts always come to my mind when I think of these "anti-govmint" types.

[louis-t]

3. Bookmarked for the next time my crazy relatives

send me an "Obama's a socialist" email. Thanks.