Excellent article on "Cyber-Bullying" & Teen Suicide

[truedelphi]

The whole article can be found here.

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2010/cyberbullying-and-teen-suicide/2/


I am amazed at the indifference that many HS and Junior highs have about the issue of bullies.


Here are the first four paragraphs of the article:
Tragically, this is leading to increasing numbers of suicides among our teens. In 2006, suicide was the third leading cause of death for young people ages 15 to 24, just behind car accidents and homicide. It’s estimated that for every completed suicide, there are 5 or more attempts; attempts that could have been fatal but for the luck of miscalculation about the means or the luck of someone walking in on time.

Kids who make attempts are kids in pain. Attempts are not bids for attention or the use of drama to make a point. These kids don’t necessarily want to die. They want the pain to end and can’t figure out any other way to do it. When teen impulsivity and emotional extremes are added to the mix, the result can be (and too often is) fatal.

What can we do?

Watch for distress in our own kids. Kids who are chronically angry, who easily lose it, who are visibly upset about going to school or who refuse to go, are actively sending out signals of distress. Kids who are withdrawn and depressed; who spend hours holed up in their own rooms; who claim not to be interested in kids their own age; whose grades plummet – these kids are in more quiet but equally dangerous despair. Parents and teachers can and should talk to them, listen respectfully, and offer help. It’s important to be mindful that unless bullying is handled carefully, the situation can be made worse. Careful cooperation between home and school can make the difference.

Talk to our kids who don’t seem distressed. Unfortunately, kids don’t always tell us or show us that they are upset. The young girl in the introduction to this article was close to her parents, was pretty, smart and sociable, and seemed to have many friends. Recent arguments about dating turned vicious, then tragic. The lesson for us as parents is how critical it is to talk about bullying whether or not the kids bring it up. It’s important for our adolescents to know that we understand how awful the teen years can be and how unfairly sometimes kids treat each other. We can help them understand that the opinions of others don’t have to be a matter of life and death. Even the kids who seem most secure and mature need to be reassured that if they ever feel so depressed and hurt that they even consider suicide, they have sympathetic and helpful support at home.

[paulsby]

1. a bit of a clarification

the point about

"It’s estimated that for every completed suicide, there are 5 or more attempts; attempts that could have been fatal but for the luck of miscalculation about the means or the luck of someone walking in on time. "

not really. many of these "attempts" (and i've been to literally SCORES of these during my time as a firefighter and as a cop) are more "cries for help" than bona fide attempts.

this is far more common with girls than boys, fwiw. that's why the suicide "attempt" rate for girls is much higher, but boys actually commit more suicides.

if you really WANT to kill yourself it's not that difficult at all to do successfully. especially in the days of the internet where there are ample resources to find ways to do it successfully.

i've seen cases where victims have attempted suicide via (for example) sleeping pills (which has a very low success rate) when numerous effective methods were close at hand.

iow, a suicide "attempt" does not necessarily equal a bona fide ATTEMPT. in SOME cases, it certainly does, but in many if not most cases, it doesn't

almost all ARE cries for help and done by people in pain (rarely it's more for attention than actually due to pain, but usually the pain is the overwhelming trigger), but i'd argue a very fair percentage if not a majority are not "attempts that could have been fatal but for..."

[truedelphi]

2. Very interesting and pertinent to the discussion

And thank you too, for your contribution as a firefighter and a cop.

[paulsby]

3. you're welcome and thank you for your kind comments nt