****DUzy Awards for the week ending 2-26-10****

Ghost in the Machine

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Fri Feb-26-10 08:33 PM
Original message

Special thanks to: dixiegrrrrl, CaliforniaPeggy, AwakeAtLast, havocmom, Mira, and Hatchling for their invaluable assistance in bringing you the DUzy Awards this week

On a thread by CaliforniaPeggy: Alexander Haig Dead at 85

      leftstreet: 1. Meh (he rest in peace)

or something

      LuvNewcastle: 4. Who did he leave in charge? n/t

      WeDidIt: 6. This is from Hell, Satan has been taken to a hospital Haig holds press conference

Claims "he is in charge here".

      mithnanthy: 7. He wants Satan's job...

He's been practicing for years!

      NecklyTyler
: 13. Haig, Nixon and Raygun can sit around the fire and talk over old times

Maybe I should have said sit around IN the fire

General Discussion, Feb-20-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7757912

OP by grantcart: Seismologist in Conneticut have identified source of underground shaking

AP
Sharon, Connecticut

Dewey Cheetham
http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=24915565

Seismologists Identify Ground Zero for Underground Disturbance

For the past 48 hours seismologists across the country have been zeroing in on an unusually source of underground disturbance. Starting early Friday morning the underground vibrations have increased at a steady rate and picked up intensity.

Using different detectors from 17 different universities seizmologists located the disturbance as being in the area of Sharon, a small town located in Litchfield County in Connecticut. Refinements narrowed the search area to Saint Bernard Cemetary and final tests have isolated the vibrations as coming from the the area underneath the marker of William F. Buckley.

William F. Pederstone head of the Geology Department of the University of Pittsburg related his findings to a stunned gathering of reporters. "Once we identified where the sound was coming from we put listening devices on the area and could hear a grinding sound. We then put a sonograph detector on the grave spot and could see that there is actually spinning going on."

Playing back the results of the underground sonograph showed that the rotations seemed to speed up exactly in sinc with developments at the CPAC conference in Washington, DC. Rotations timed at about 57 RPM were recorded when the John Birch Society entered the hall and set up shop, it hasn't been lower than 57 RPM since that time.

Different speakers at the conference triggered different RPM levels Gingrich's speach peaked at 157 RPM while Glenn Becks ran a range of about 450 RPMs and when he broke into tears it double to almost 910 RPMs.

When the CPAC voting concluded selecting Ron Paul and Mit Romney as one and two in the Presidential poll the spinning settled in at a steady 245 RPMs.

In a related development emergency rooms across the US are recording increased stroke and heart attack responses among conservatives and 'freepers' when the vote was announced. Stephen Horsedinker professor of Reactionary Politics at the University of Deleware explained that "Ron Paul and Mit Romney being chosen as leaders of the conservative movement has tea baggers and freepers vomiting all across the country. Paul's antiwar and uhber isolationist viewpoints and Romney's representation of the established CEO corporate eliltist couldn't be further away from the macho Cheney Wing and the evangelical Huckabee Wing of the Party."

"This is why they go crazy over Palin. She unifies the macho and religious fervor that has replaced the Republican equivalent of thinking."

The deep divisions in the Republican Party between Ron Paul's anti establishment grassroots movement, Mit Romney's increasingly discredited representation of the failing CEO class, the religious Huckabee wing and the Macho Cheney Militarists are all coming into conflict with the Tea Party Movement.

It is doubtful that even Ronald Reagan could stem this increasingly inevitable civil war in the Republican/Conservative movement.

The only leader that seems to be able to wed the two largest factions, the radical religious right and the ubher militarists seems to be Sarah Palin.

Scientists in Connecticut are pondering ways to capture the energy source in Sharon, Connecticut as sustainable non carbon energy source.

General Discussion: Presidency, Feb-21-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=433x190334

On a thread by DeSwiss: The Secret Farm Where Tiger Wine Is Made

      flvegan: 9. Boltcutters and balaclavas.

Tranq 'em and yank 'em.

Then, visit every store selling "tiger wine" with an aluminum softball TPX.

If I were a rich man...

      Orrex
: 10. Baklava?!? This is no time to chat about pastries!!!!

      flvegan: 11. Pasties? This is no time to chat about nipple covers!

      YOY: 12. Patsies? Would you two quit talking about Oswald and Bush!

      Orrex
: 13. Oswald and Bush? I was talking about Cline and Kensit!

      flvegan: 14. Pansies? In the winter? Foolish to even think about.

      YOY: 16. Panties? Victoria's Secret has it's top sales in the winter. Wonder if they sell ski masks though.

Cos ski masks would really help you to break in with those boltcutters....far more than wearing panties on your head.

General Discussion, Feb-22-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7773715#7773897

On a thread by wpsedgwick: Google selling power like a utility

Enrique: 2. so can I plug my toaster into my computer screen now?

:crazy:

Latest Breaking News, Feb-22-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=102&topic_id=4278867

On a thread by Donnachaidh
: White House slammed after declaring ‘not enough support’ for public option

harun
: 29. We don't have enough support from the R side to pass the butter.

General Discussion, Feb-24-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7783147

On a thread by stevedeshazer: Miss Beverly Hills tries to one-up Carrie Prejean, says it’s divine law that gays be put to death.

      Bluzmann57: 1. And when she says "...black and white"

Is one to assume that she means the pages are white and the ink is black?

      Brickbat: 3. "Pretty black and white," she says. Sure, except for those parts where Jesus talks in red and I

don't recall him EVER saying that gay people should be put to death. SO STFU, Miss Beverly Hills 2010!

(Also, "Lauren Ashley"? Is that for realz?)

      Orsino: 6. When will her sex tape be released? n/t

      Stevenmarc: 15. I wouldn't want to ber her the next time she goes into a Beverly Hills salon

      guitar man: 72. Good Grief!

She could eat an apple through a fence except that nose might get in the way!!

:rofl:

      spanone: 55. why don't they include brains in these 'pretty thingys'

General Discussion, Feb-24-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7783720

OP by LeftyFingerPop: Why didn't any of you tell me?

For years I have been purchasing all of my shirts in size XXXXXL because of excess back, shoulder, and abdominal hair.

Turns out that a size "XL Furry" fits just fine.

      MiddleFingerMom: 2. Like we knew that Wookies actually bothered to purchase shirts. n/t

      Kali
: 3. is the neck hole of XL Furry big enough for floppy beachball head?

      LeftyFingerPop: 6. Of course not.

That's what scissors are for.

      MiddleFingerMom: 12. I read that as "sloppy beachball head"...

... and my first reaction was, "Sober UP, Ms Funicello, and I'd be happy
to let you try that again."

The DU Lounge, Feb-24-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x9269920

OP by Throd: Is it wrong to let my dog preclean my pots and pans?

Lately I have been letting my dog lick the remains from my frying pans. She seems to love it and as a 90lb Rottweiler/Shephard she has a big ol' tongue well suited for the job. After she is done I rinse the pan and stick it in the dishwasher. It seems gross at first, but when one considers how much bacteria is on the average household sponge, it might be just as sanitary with less scrubbing. I consider it a win/win.

      Duer 157099: 4. And of course you've heard the one about the guy who

had family over for dinner and when his son asked how clean his dishes were, the old man said "They're as clean as cold water can get them" and then later on in the evening, he heard his old man calling for his dog, Coldwater.

      MiddleFingerMom: 6. I don't let my dog "pre-clean" mine until JUST before I use them again.

That "pre-moistening" means I don't need oil or butter anymore.
.
.
Nah... just kidding. I don't really have a dog.
.
.
So, I just don't clean my pots and pans before I reuse them.
.
.
Anybody ELSE spend less time sleeping on the floor of your bathroom
when you actually DO have a dog to help out in the kitchen?

      Skittles: 8. scheduling Throd for ass kicking

EGREGIOUS

      LeftyMom: 9. Just remember: your dog licks his junk with that same tongue.

So really, you could have him teabag your dishes for the same effect.

      rcrush: 15. How would your dog like it if you licked his dishes!?

The DU Lounge, Feb-25-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x9270184

On a thread by BridgeTheGap: Researchers find oldest-ever stash of marijuana

      rug : 1. Found nearby was a bone containing the lyrics to Swee Jane in cuneiform.

      LynneSin: 7. I also heard found next to the stash was the first ever known bag of doritos

:rofl:

      PVnRT: 11. 2700 years of bogarting that shit....assholes...

      mike_c: 12. damn!-- I thought NO one would EVER look in there....

:cry:

      bookworm65t: 19. "Made In China"... as usual

another point of contention for my dad, who is always on a rant about the Chinese-made goods here.

Now I will tell him that pot may have originated in China. Will he still rant? Who knows?

:evilgrin:

      Tommy_Carcetti: 20. There has to be a Keith Richards joke in here somehow.

Come on people, you are slacking.

      BlueJazz: 23. The ten Researchers who "examined" the find also (as luck would have it)..

were across the street from "mel's Mini-Food market".

Mel's will be out of chips, hotdogs and cookies for the next few days....

      blue neen: 27. The graffiti on the tomb wall says "Esta Es La Mejor Mota".

There is also a red ochre sketch of a man who looks like Chris Robinson.

      RushIsRot : 29. What's Chinese for "Wow!" or "Far Out"?

Sssssssssssss! Ssss, ss, ss, Ahhhhhhhhh!

The DU Lounge, Feb-24-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x9268891

On a thread by dgibby: ***BREAKING: CHENEY ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL WITH CHEST PAIN**

The Magistrate: 20. Hopefully, Ma'am, It Will Not Turn Out To Be Anything Trivial....

"I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice note saying I approved of it."

General Discussion, Feb-22-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=389&topic_id=7772435

On a thread by annabanana: Mr. Prez just called Boner a liar...

Snotcicles: 5. I'm getting him saying his talking points for a wake up on my alarm. Because

there is nothing like waking up with a drunken orange Boner.

General Discussion, Feb-25-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7795129

Special Visual Achievement Award

On a thread by HysteryDiagnosis: Betelgeuse is shrinking for some unknown reason.

response #1 by Warren DeMontague

The DU Lounge, Feb-22-10: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x9267018

OP by FrenchieCat
: The Republicans Answer the Dare from the WH! Their Plans now Posted!

General Discussion: Presidency, Wed Feb-24: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=433x194972