To be a soldier ... or a human being: One woman's encounter with 'don't ask, don't tell'

[kpete]

To be a soldier ... or a human being: One woman's encounter with 'don't ask, don't tell'
I just wanted to serve my country, but my country didn't want me. CMU grad student KAREN MESKO tells her story
Sunday, February 21, 2010

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"Don't ask, don't tell" is a federal law that prohibits military service by openly gay Americans. It requires the nearly impossible of those who still want to serve -- that you be celibate and completely closeted. Anyone who knows you're gay is a risk, so the closet often extends into your personal life. I faced a moral dilemma -- serving my country or upholding my integrity and honor.

This dilemma haunted me as graduation neared. Since I loved the military and couldn't imagine never wearing the uniform again, I tried to make the best of the situation. I decided to commission into the Reserves and take a civilian job so I could at least live honestly in my personal life. It was a huge disappointment to give up my dream of an active-duty career, a dream I had spent four years training for, day in and day out.

I began working at a large, progressive corporation. To my surprise, two of my new colleagues were themselves in the National Guard and Reserves. "Don't ask, don't tell" had followed me all the way to my cubicle in a Fortune 50 company. I kept to myself, but in the course of the workday I inevitably had to lie about my friends, weekend plans and relationship.

This same distance separated me from my fellow officers and soldiers at drill weekend each month. I worked hard but rarely socialized. The careful distance I maintained prevented me from forging close friendships in my unit. If I did detract from unit cohesion, it wasn't because I'm gay, it was because I couldn't be openly gay.

One of the worst aspects of being closeted is not just feeling like less of a person, but becoming less of a person -- less open, less honest, less trusting.]/i]

After several years, I was no longer willing to live in fear of being found out, or to continue compromising my integrity. I finally came out to my commander and was subsequently discharged -- for "moral and professional dereliction," as my Army discharge papers read.

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Read more: http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/10052/1037169-109.stm#ixzz0gWWJjuJY

[HeresyLives]

1. For "moral and professional dereliction???

Ye gawds, it actually says that???