I'm writing a letter to the editor and I was wondering if I can get some input before I send.

[MrSlayer]

The Philadelphia Daily News ran a cover story today about backlash against the Democratic party the possible return of Republican congressional rule.


My letter is as follows.

To the Editor,

I find it amazing that the American people would even consider voting the Republicans back into power as it was they who put us in the horrible mess we are dealing with now. Because the President and the Democrats were unable to wave a magic wand and fix everything in one year we need to put the fox back into the hen house? The Republicans controlled Congress for twelve straight years and all three branches for six of the last nine and the results were an absolute disaster for the middle and lower classes. They have outright refused to do anything to help since Mr. Obama took office, voting in lockstep against every single bill that actually made it to the floor and filibustering everything else. Literally everything. And that after many of the concessions they asked for were met. They are even voting against things they themselves originally sponsored! They have no interest in helping the American people at all. Their only interest is in making things worse in a cynical attempt to get back into power. How are things going to get better by voting back the very same politicians whose policies have been proved a complete and utter failure? It's harder to build than it is to destroy and there is still much work to be done, work that cannot be put aside by a party that is totally bought out by corporate lobbyists. The people seem to have incredibly short memories and if they do this, nothing that benefits them will get done over the next three years. The slow but steady recovery we are seeing will be squandered and sadly, they will have gotten what they deserve.


What do you think? Should I throw something in there about the corporate Dems also being a part of the problem and that they should be ousted in primaries?

[Roland99]

1. Brah-Vo!

[FrenchieCat]

2. Excellent......

Just maybe breaking it out into a couple of paragraphs to make it easier to read.

Don't forget that Republicans had years in power to come up with health Care Reform,
and they didn't. Now, after they lose the election, we are supposed to want to listen
to what they have to say!

Again, even without changing a thing, this letter incapsulates the truth of the matter.

As for Throwing out Dems, the only option then becomes voting for a Republican....
and that would go against what you have just written from where I sit.

[MrSlayer]

5. Thanks Frenchie.

I was suggesting that we throw out the seated Democrats that are part of the problem through primaries and putting better, more progressive Democrats into the seats. Though in a lot of cases, that would seem near impossible.

[FrenchieCat]

6. The only Dems in true danger are the New ones that we got during the last two elections......

and I fear if they are voted out, it is a puke that would replace them.

Without a majority in the house, or in the senate......we in essence are giving
them the power that we just got back. Wish the math was different, but that's
about the sum of it. :(

[MrSlayer]

8. I agree.

I'll leave that idea out.

[Bobbie Jo]

3. Nicely done.

Hit send. :thumbsup:

[katanalori]

4. suggestion

Last sentence - change "have gotten" to "get."

Great LTTE!

[MrSlayer]

7. I was thinking in future perfect habitual tense.

Is it a grammatical error as it is?

[katanalori]

14. No, not a grammatical error. n/t

[gratuitous]

9. Pretty good

It's tempting to bring in other things, like the corporate Dems, but staying with one theme or idea makes the letter better. Start a new paragraph at "They have no interest in helping the American people at all." Maybe substituting "Republicans" for "They."

[TexasObserver]

10. Make it four paragraphs.

[MrSlayer]

11. How's this?

To the Editor,

I find it amazing that the American people would even consider voting the Republicans back into power as it was they who put us in the horrible mess we are dealing with now. Because the President and the Democrats were unable to wave a magic wand and fix everything in one year we need to put the fox back into the hen house?

The Republicans controlled Congress for twelve straight years and all three branches for six of the last nine and the results were an absolute disaster for the middle and lower classes. They have outright refused to do anything to help since Mr. Obama took office, voting in lockstep against every single bill that actually made it to the floor and filibustering everything else. Literally everything. And that after many of the concessions they asked for were met. They are even voting against things they themselves originally sponsored!

Republicans have no interest in helping the American people at all. Their only interest is in making things worse in a cynical attempt to get back into power. How are things going to get better by voting back the very same politicians whose policies have been proved a complete and utter failure?

It's harder to build than it is to destroy and there is still much work to be done, work that cannot be put aside by a party that is totally bought out by corporate lobbyists. The people seem to have incredibly short memories and if they do this, nothing that benefits them will get done over the next three years. The slow but steady recovery we are seeing will be squandered and sadly, they will have gotten what they deserve.

[TexasObserver]

13. Great! Remember, in print the width is much smaller.

In the print version of the paper, each paragraph will be at least twice as narrow and twice as long as your typed version.

The modern multi-task reader prefers bite sized paragraphs, for print or online publications. It's easier to look at the document and read a paragraph if they're shorter paragraphs. Readers like shorter paragraphs and that makes them more likely to read your letter, or in this case, for the publisher/editor to choose your letter for publication.

They typically prefer letters that aren't too long, and with short paragraphs.




I make no attempt to address your content, punctuation, grammar, word usage, verb tense or other matters of technical proficiency. You adequately express yourself on the topic. Precision in all other matters is not required of a letter to the editor. If it sounds "real" and gets across a point in readable form, it does the job.

[intheflow]

17. Your content is excellent, but as a frequent LTTE writer myself,

I can predict it will be cut down, possibly omitting things you would rather have kept to sacrifice some thing else. I've been frustrated by this in the past, but I have to say I have had about a 90% successful published LTTE record, with minimal edits, for about a decade now.

I think many newspaper editors are most concerned with word count when editing, so will cut out half sentences when you could just extract a few words out of the whole letter. You have a few short qualifiers that could be cut, such as the extraneous "ands" linking sentences together. For example:

"The Republicans controlled Congress for twelve straight years and all three branches for six of the last nine and the results were an absolute disaster for the middle and lower classes."

becomes

"The Republicans controlled Congress for twelve straight years and all three branches for six of the last nine. The results were an absolute disaster for the middle and lower classes."

It's another version of the "shorter is better" meme someone else said upthread, referring to your paragraphs. Seriously: the average American loses track of their thoughts during commercial breaks, mentally shifting easily between your LTTE and celebrity gossip. As a populace, we have a short attention span. Your letter has to grab them and hold their attention better than Balloon Boy or Bigfoot or Can I Haz a Cheeseburger's fan page on facebook. :eyes:

One question I do have is about your use of the word "people." Are you referring to the people as an entity, as defined in the Preamble of the Declaration of Independence, "We the People?" If so, "people" should be capitalized, as it is in that document. We the People are as much an entity as Exxon, Blackwater, or the Republican Party. If those scoundrels deserve capitalization, so do We!!

Once again, though, overall excellent letter! :applause:

[Captain Hilts]

12. Shorter is always better. Take out everything after "do anything.... Many of their..."

This makes it shorter and takes the focus off the president and less about him and more about them as the Bad Guys.

I've gotten so many letters in the WP the senior editor called me and talked to me for an hour!

Good luck.

Hilts

[aikoaiko]

15. I don't like rhetorical questions -- be direct.

We should not return fox to the hen house because the President and the Democrats were unable to wave a magic wand and fix everything in one year.

[timeforpeace]

16. Perfect. Sent it as is.