"Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" repeal will benefit children

[Bluebear]

-- by Dana Rudolph

If a review of the military’s "Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" (DADT) policy includes speaking with gay and lesbian servicemembers (or ex-servicemembers), as discussed in the Feb. 2 Senate Armed Services Committee hearing, it would be wise to make sure families with children are among them.

Two years ago, I had the honor of interviewing an active-duty lesbian servicemember and her partner about the difficulty of raising children while remaining closeted ("Bay Windows," 2/10/08). They spoke of the stress on their family from having to live apart from the other families on base, for fear that one of their young children would inadvertently let slip the fact that he has two moms. They spoke of missing the base holiday party, complete with Santa, and having their children forego the friendship and support of other children whose parents were deployed to war zones. There were economic hardships, too -- a lack of medical benefits for the non-military partner, for example -- but they paled next to the emotional ones.

Since I first posted the interview on my blog, several other lesbian military moms and their partners have left comments telling similar stories. One wrote:

"For now, we just try to offer some explanation to the kids of why gays aren’t ’good enough’ to serve in the open...when we’re good enough to make sacrifices in our personal lives in excess of the heterosexuals we serve beside every day. The saddest part isn’t the sacrifices my family or I make in the service of our country; it is the misinterpretation of the Constitution. I’m very proud to be a defender of the Constitution...the same document that in a normal society would, under Article 14, allow me to simply be the person God made me to be."

http://www.baywindows.com/index.php?ch=columnists&sc=mombian&id=102388

[Solly Mack]

1. k/r