11 Years

[The Straight Story]

It's been 11 years since I have heard from one of my sons.

Today I heard from him.

For years I lived not knowing where my boys were. 3 kids, missing - losing sleep, worried about them, nightmares on a regular basis. I spent days looking for them in the news, worried I would find the worst. Hoping I would find out where they were.

When my X died in 2005 my youngest called me. First contact.

Now in 2010 I talk to two of my sons, oldest is stationed at Ft. Hood. Youngest was in the military, had issues and got out, but is going back later this month. My middle son - he just dropped off the face of the earth and would not even talk to me and rarely talks to his brothers.

This morning, about 3am, he wrote me back.

11 years I worried, cried over him. Missed him so much. He was my 'special' little boy. My first Christmas without him I woke up after a nightmare, saw him dead in a frozen casket. I was living in Ridgcrest, CA, at the time. I drove up to Kennedy Meadows, some 6000 feet up the Sierra Nevada mountains. All alone and crying because I missed him.

I used to drive around Jack's Ranch Road out there, night after night, missing him and his brothers.

Years went by, then finally I found my boys. Except for him. He was just not ready.

Now he has replied to an email I sent him.

I don't know how to explain to you what it means to you to lose a child - and then find them. I sit here, waiting to hear back from him. I might not.

But for a moment today, I heard from my little boy.

And I wish I could just hold him again, snuggle him and his little stuffed bear, and let him know I am here for him.

[MadMaddie]

1. The Straight Story I am glad that he contacted you.

It must have been tough all of those years......I hope that your family continues to put the pieces back together.:grouphug:

[Atticus]

7. The memories your post revived left me wet-eyed and, again, sore of heart.

Our son was not "absent" for nearly so long---just a little over a year. But, I did experience the helplessness and pain that comes with not knowing where your child is; not knowing if they are healthy or in need;---not really knowing if they are alive.

I would not presume to say I know how you feel or to advise you how to handle your fear and pain. I will tell you that you will be on my mind and your situation will be in my heart tonight and, likely, for several days.

Stay strong.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. My dear Straight Story...

And I'm betting you he's wishing the very same thing...

One of these days you will see him, and the hug will light up both of your lives...

Blessings on you for this beautiful, poignant story, sweetie...

:hug:

[Lifelong Protester]

3. Had to give you a rec, a heart, and to tell you that you

are lucky and I hope it pans out for you from here.

[abq e streeter]

4. Wow--I don't know what to say...I'm glad that maybe, just maybe

there's reconciliation in the air for you, whatever it was that happened. I pray that it's so.

[OhioChick]

5. I'm happy to hear that you heard from him....

Maybe in time...the both of you will become close.

:hug:

[Terra Alta]

6. glad you heard from him

I really hope he builds a close relationship to you, and to his brothers as well. I will send good vibes your way!

[Subdivisions]

8. Hey TSS, I'm glad to hear this and am holding out hope for you that

you'll hear more from all your sons. I have a story I'd like to tell you (by PM) if you don't mind.

Whether you know it or not, buddy, I consider you a friend and if you ever come to Ft. Hood to see your son, you be sure to let me know because I would love to have you stop in for a cup of coffee or to stay over if you need to.

[alfredo]

9. It took me decades to have any contact with my dad.

It did both of us a lot of good.


I hope it works out well for the both of you.

[JohnnyLib2]

10. All the best for you and "yours".

:hug: