I Would Like to Voice My Support for the Republican Purity Pledge

[Lyric]

I know they shot it down and replaced it with that watered-down, non-binding "party resolution," but come on! Rise up, right-wingers! Demand that your party leaders force all Republican lawmakers to sign the purity test. In fact, forget all that "8 out of 10 principles" nonsense--10 out of 10 should be what you demand! Perfect ideological lockstop! It's no less than you deserve. Everything in your party would be INCREDIBLY peachy if only, if ONLY, you force out anyone who doesn't march in perfect unison with the conservative right. Just imagine! No more intra-party fighting. No more compromises that leave you with McCain (when you really want Palin) and Steele (because you KNOW why they picked him, and you hate it! HATE IT!)

Demand the purity test! If God is on your side (like you incessantly claim that He is) then he'll fix things so that you don't need the RINOs anymore. You just have to BELIEVE! Otherwise, you could be guilty of doubting God! *gasp* Of course, you doubted God when Barack Obama won the Presidency, but I think you can all agree that doubt is A-Okay when scary black men are involved.

You have many, many liberals behind you in your endeavor to purge your party, believe me. We have NO problem being bipartisan about this one. Evil, godless ingrates that we are, even WE can see how you're being oppressed and denied your TRUE place as the rightful rulers of your party. In fact, we have an even better idea--let Rush Limbaugh write the purity test and become the new RNC chairman! He's your real leader anyway--make it official! Recall that Steele guy and put Limbaugh on the golden throne you've been preparing for him for SO very long. Imagine how wonderful it'll be to never have to listen to another RINO again, ever. Paradise!

Of course there might be a *few* unintended consequences that aren't really worth going into, election stuff and all, totally boring, don't worry your pretty little heads about it. But you'll have Purity! PURITY! We'll chip in for the purity rings, btw--we know how much you like those.

:hi:

[pipi_k]

1. I don't even mind if they have a secret handshake...

and a cute little holographic membership card


:7

[Vincardog]

2. Just strip the last two sentences and send it on with may name on it.

[DiverDave]

3. "Purity...baaa-baaa-baaa

of course the sheep want to be alike, who in their right mind wants to THINK??

[provis99]

4. of course you know, we might have to stop complaining about Sen. Specter

or we might be accused of having a "Democratic Purity Pledge" of our own.

[rurallib]

5. They should have an outward sign of their purity for their meetings

Might I suggest a white robe And perhaps a white hat of some sort. Nothing says purity like white.

[Lyric]

6. ....

:rofl:

Well played.

[blondeatlast]

7. Should be easy for them, anyway, they have no sense of hypocrisy whatsoever.

Perhaps we should all pledge a nickel to every RRR who signs? Individual donations--why, they'll be overwhelmed by our generosity and with that many donations coming in, who could resist?!

:rofl: