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I sure wish we had a fathers' rights forum today. My brother

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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 04:28 PM
Original message
I sure wish we had a fathers' rights forum today. My brother
is looking for help because he's getting creamed over child support. And he's about to give hundreds of dollars to this Dennic Gac guy who is www.fathershelphotline. com.

All I can find about Gac is his own PR. BBB only gives him a "C" because they don't have enough info. There's one other article I found where the IRS and Justice caught him hiding assets.

His website makes claims that I don't believe but he has very nicely done DVDs.

This whole thing screams "scamming stressed out Dads" to me.

Have any of you dads heard of him? Mainly what I'm not finding are all the dads he's helped. :shrug:
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JonQ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 04:33 PM
Response to Original message
1. Sorry, can't help you
Never heard of this guy. I hope it works out for your brother.

This would be a perfect example of something to be discussed in a mens rights forum. Too bad some bigots are intent on preventing it.
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BoneDaddy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 02:48 PM
Response to Reply #1
109. Absolutely
Don't you know only women suffer.
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Matariki Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 02:58 PM
Response to Reply #1
113. Are there really people here preventing a Men's Issues forum
Or has no one gone through DU's process to start one? I.E. writing a mission statement and so forth?
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Dogmudgeon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 04:34 PM
Response to Original message
2. Ah, the exploitation of misery!
Capitalism at its most "charitable". No quicker buck was ever made.

My brother has a profoundly autistic son. The vultures have found him, and are lined up at the door, bearing snake oil and specimens of Sterconium bovis, the Common Wallet-Dwelling Leech.

--d!
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 05:55 PM
Response to Reply #2
38. Yep. And stressed out people are easy game.
:(
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leftstreet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 04:35 PM
Response to Original message
3. Is there still a parenting forum here?
I'm sure I saw once saw a link, but LOL no luck finding it now.

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Boojatta Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 03:15 PM
Response to Reply #3
117. Find link below...
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babylonsister Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 04:39 PM
Response to Original message
4. Rec'd for more eyes. nt
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 05:07 PM
Response to Reply #4
20. Thanks so much, sis.
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SacredCow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 04:43 PM
Response to Original message
5. Never heard of him....
but yeah- that website screams "scam" to me. I could be totally wrong, but I sure as hell wouldn't send money to him.

I guess child support laws differ from state to state. Where I am, they are completely and totally based on tables. They take what each of you earn and apply it to a formula- period. You can't argue it one way or the other.

Best to him- Been there, and when you've got a vindictive ex gunning for you (for whatever reason) men very often become guilty until proven innocent.
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knitter4democracy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 04:45 PM
Response to Reply #5
8. It's that way in Michigan, too. You can't mess with the formula.
It's highly dependent here on number of overnights per year, so my ex is fighting to get more overnights per year (pretty much just to lower his child support payments--he's been messing with the support money since last summer). He hasn't won on that and won't, most likely, given his behavior. Most guys aren't like my ex, though.
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knitter4democracy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 04:44 PM
Response to Original message
6. He needs to find his state's Fathers for Equal Rights group.
My dad was very, very active in ours for many, many years. While I've heard that other states' chapters aren't as strong as Michigan's, they would have the lawyer he needs to call, the ways on how to stand up for himself and make sure that the FOC's following the guidelines, and what he needs to do to protect himself.

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laylah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 02:09 PM
Response to Reply #6
106. I agree!
Had a similar issue years ago and became an advocate in my part of Colorado...and I'm a "she"!

Men need to pay their child support; however, they should not be left destitute and hanging on by a thread. Just MVHO.
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monmouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 04:44 PM
Response to Original message
7. The money he will probably end up sending this guy could be well
spent consulting with an attorney. I had a "grandmother" issue many years ago, visitation rights, etc. It was an out of state thing and both attorneys (mine and the one in the other state) were very helpful to me. Was not expensive at all. Much luck to your brother.
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The Straight Story Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 04:47 PM
Response to Original message
9. I lost 3 kids, overpaid child support through her fraud, and was told 'sorry about your luck'
It is not our job to prosecute parents who lie to us, only to collect your money....
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 05:15 PM
Response to Reply #9
23. And my experience was opposite. I framed the $35 check
the DA managed to get from my ex. That was it. I was left as their sole support from ages 8 and 11.

Crazy. :crazy:

But my bro did everything "right" afaik. He moved to the town she moved to with the girls. He kept a house when he didn't need one so they would be comfortable. He welcomed his ex to our family gatherings. He works his ass off.

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liberalhistorian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 04:47 PM
Response to Original message
10. Wow. poor thing. How dare he have to actually pay money
to support his own children. How dare his ex actually expect any help from the co-creator of their children at all. Wow, such nerve.
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noamnety Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 04:54 PM
Response to Reply #10
14. Not sure that comment was called for.
It doesn't sound like he has a problem paying some support. It sounds like he believes his portion is excessive. Those of us just reading the post have no knowledge of their incomes or the support amount, so we aren't in a position to judge or accuse.
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 04:57 PM
Response to Reply #10
15. You are so far out of line, you can't even see the line from where you are.
My brother is devoted dad and always has been. As it stands now, out of a $900 weekly paycheck, he has to hand over $700 and with the rest, he's supposed to maintain a residence where he can have the girls 1/3 of the time. Yeah, right.

The three girls are over 12 and his ex doesn't work.

You do the math. And welcome to ignore.
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SacredCow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 05:06 PM
Response to Reply #15
18. Yikes!
He pays $700 per WEEK in child support?!?!?!?! Is some of that temporary/permanent spousal support?
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 05:11 PM
Response to Reply #18
22. It's all child support. And the thing is, he would gladly hand it over
Edited on Mon Dec-07-09 05:11 PM by EFerrari
if he had enough left to keep a roof over his head.

He's one of the very few musicians that get union jobs at musicals in San Francisco. And he takes in students and whatever else he can think of.

This is insane. He's under so much pressure right now, I don't even know how he's putting one foot in front of the other. His credit rating has gone from great to horrible. I don't know how a judge can expect a wage earner to keep working if they now have trouble eating and stayig indoors. It's nuts.
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SacredCow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 05:16 PM
Response to Reply #22
24. My lawyer was emphatic...
that family court judges are not supposed to make judgements that create such a imbalance. Pardon my french, but he's getting fucked and damned well has a right to fight it.

I truly, truly hope that he gets some good help on this.
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WolverineDG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 07:28 PM
Response to Reply #22
59. What state is he in?
Did he owe any back support? Because unless he owes a LOT of back child support, $700 every week out of a $900 paycheck is WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH!!

(I'm in Texas, BTW)

dg
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knitter4democracy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 09:29 PM
Response to Reply #22
75. That would be against the law in my state.
We have a formula, and $700 of $900 would definitely not be per the formula. It would be over the amount that they're allowed to take here.
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liberalhistorian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 05:06 PM
Response to Reply #15
19. If his ex has three children she works, believe me.
And if they were still together, he'd be spending very near an equal amount, if not more, on them. And what's wrong with ensuring that he has a decent place for them to be 1/3 of the time????????
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SacredCow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 05:09 PM
Response to Reply #19
21. What's wrong is that you can't do it on $200 per week.
And judges are absolutely NOT supposed to make child support judgements that leave either parent in a position that they can't keep up with the basic necessities.
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mamaleah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 05:26 PM
Response to Reply #19
29. You personally know she works? You know her?
Single mothers actually have a harder time finding work due to the cost of child care.
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liberalhistorian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 06:11 PM
Response to Reply #29
44. What I meant was that three children are WORK
regardless of whether or not you have a job outside the home. And I'm more than familiar with single mothers, given that I was one myself for sixteen years. And with a deadbeat father who could hardly be bothered to pay the piddling amount he was ordered to pay (under $300 monthly) for most of that time (and got away with it and ocntinues to get away with it). And who got it reduced even further, even though he was very behind despite his good job, because he had another child with another girlfriend.
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dysfunctional press Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 12:50 PM
Response to Reply #44
91. do you know the mother...?
not all single mothers do the actual 'work' of raising the kids.
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snooper2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 12:51 PM
Response to Reply #44
92. now it comes out...
nt
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Rhythm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 01:02 PM
Response to Reply #19
100. The problem is that you CAN'T do that on $200./week in San Francisco...
That region is perhaps the second most expensive to live in the country (after NYC).

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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 06:19 PM
Response to Reply #15
46. so
he is making 3,600 a month and being told to pay 700, correct. that brings him to living on 2,900 a month. for three kids i dont know that it goes much below that. really dont know a lot. reading replies to be educated
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 06:22 PM
Response to Reply #46
47. No, he pays out 700 a week from 900 a week
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 06:36 PM
Response to Reply #47
52. i have never known anyone to get 2,800 in child support. and no way any judge is gonna
Edited on Mon Dec-07-09 06:40 PM by seabeyond
make someone pay 700 out of the 900 they make. i am all for guys rights on this issue. i have watched brother pay 130k over a decade to fight for his daughter as the mother got counseling for free. but....

not happening. something is wrong somewhere.
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 06:42 PM
Response to Reply #52
55. It's happening and it's happening to my brother.
Edited on Mon Dec-07-09 06:42 PM by EFerrari
And something is wrong. He's the wage earner and no one is paying attention to the fact that this judgment will not work over time. And no on e is questioning the fact that she doesn't work when all three girls are gone all day.

He's basically homeless right now as he had to give up the house he rented and he's staying here. He's an open book and this is happening to him. It's insane.
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liberalhistorian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 08:44 PM
Response to Reply #52
67. I have to agree with this assessment. The only time things like
that seem to happen is if there's a LOT of back support that is owed. I suspect that that is the case here.
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snooper2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 12:54 PM
Response to Reply #52
95. One of my co-workers pays 1700 a month in child support
for one child...

He gave his wife the house and all equity as well. He is happy in a small apartment now...at least no more fighting...
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 01:07 PM
Response to Reply #95
102. about how much does he male.
even if the mans take home is 800 a month, though it shouldnt be take home, that is not enough to live on.

if your friend is taking home 4k a month, then different

but

i can absolutely hear ya if one can manage, being ok jsut for the peace adn being done with it. still, i am into a since of fairness
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snooper2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 01:52 PM
Response to Reply #102
103. It's right above 4K
so around 40%...

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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 02:11 PM
Response to Reply #103
107. that seems high to me but it also seems more reasonable.
Edited on Tue Dec-08-09 02:12 PM by seabeyond
i really dont have a lot of experiences in this. and most people i know divorced where i have heard amount are lower wage workers
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 02:55 PM
Response to Reply #107
112. I think in my bro's case, it has a lot to do with the venue and with this judge.
The venue is an upscale town where my sister in law moved and my brother followed and rented there to be near the girls. The cost of living there is ridiculous already. And this judge seems to be wearing some kind of chip on her shoulder.

It's just so bizarre to me. Maybe my post sounded like every post griping about child support but my brother's whole life is his girls. His ex has always been welcomed to our family gatherings, he's always running errands for her, he takes the girls on short notice, he never counted pennies until now, when she went back and asked for more and it's just too much. I don't see how any responsible judge could order such a thing but as a former court interpreter, I know they do all the time.

Well, we'll work it out. At least my brother isn't alone with it. He brought the girls over for Thanksgiving and they demolished an apple pie. They're big now so I was surprised that they all dug into dessert. I liked that. :)
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 03:10 PM
Response to Reply #112
116. It's just so bizarre to me.... it really is
and a huge apt on back to brother moving to where his daughters are. so important.

i will tell you though, regardless of the anger at hubby for divorce, fair would just have to be part of the equation. once i am emotionally done with a person, regardless of what they may have done to me, i am done. dont know how or why it works with me that way, just is. i could never do this to an x.
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 03:16 PM
Response to Reply #116
118. I divorced my first husband after he refused to get treatment for his depression
for five years. I was young and maybe didn't handle it very well but whatever, there was a divorce.

He moved 300 miles away after I literally begged him not to. And he never supported our two boys. That was in the 80s and I didn't have the money to hire a lawyer. That was a little before local DAs were helping out.

My ex sister in law has problems she hasn't examined. It's like she's still mad at him for a divorce she initiated. I wasn't in that marriage so I can't have an opinion. But it just seems shortsighted to do something like this. The family has to continue in some form. What is happening now will not help that happen.
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 03:20 PM
Response to Reply #118
120. agreed. nt
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Gormy Cuss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 12:31 PM
Response to Reply #47
89. If he's not paying for back support, he needs to get a modification order
to reduce his payments to reflect his current income. Something's seriously out of whack with that calculation.
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 03:19 PM
Response to Reply #89
119. San Mateo and my somewhat ADD brother.
Yep. He's the sax in "Wicked" right now, Gormy Cuss.

How often must this happen. It's depressing.
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blueamy66 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 12:45 PM
Response to Reply #15
90. I feel your brother's pain.
Edited on Tue Dec-08-09 12:46 PM by blueamy66
If my fiance didn't live with me, he'd been in a hovel.

They take exactly 1/2 of his paycheck.

Thank God his boy turns 18 next year.

And no, he doesn't have to pay thru his college years.

I'm all for paying child support, but my fiance got screwed.

And don't talk about modification orders....I know all about them.

Yeah, I'm bitter. And no, I don't let his kid know that I am bitter.

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mamaleah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 05:22 PM
Response to Reply #10
27. Why are you being a jerk? Many men are raked over the coals
on child support and alimony.

Losing enough of your pay so that you cannot live is punitive.
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Fire_Medic_Dave Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 06:07 PM
Response to Reply #10
42. Wow, ignorant and judgemental all wrapped up in one post.
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liberalhistorian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 06:14 PM
Response to Reply #42
45. No, just a realist. For every case of a noncustodial parent getting
raked over the coals, there are twenty more of custodial parents getting the total shaft and having to do EVERYTHING with the courts doing little. I've been in the legal field long enough to have been there, done that, and to have experienced it personally in my own case.
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SeattleGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 06:37 PM
Response to Reply #45
54. Okay, that's fine. But if you have been in the legal field, you should
also know that every case is different. The 20 getting the total shaft does not justify the one getting raked over the coals.

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mamaleah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 08:51 PM
Response to Reply #45
72. And that somehow justifies it?
Dance on the financial graves of the father getting screwed because there are some that are deadbeats?

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Fire_Medic_Dave Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 09:12 PM
Response to Reply #45
73. And that gives you to be self righteous and judgmental in this case.
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mamaleah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 09:43 PM
Response to Reply #73
76. Seems like she's projecting her situation onto this situation.
The women *always* get screwed, so when a man gets screwed, he had it coming. I believe that's the "logic" at work here.
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BR_Parkway Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 09:49 AM
Response to Reply #76
83. Tends to come up in every child support discussion I've ever seen
here.
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dysfunctional press Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 12:53 PM
Response to Reply #45
93. so how does that justify the cases where the non-custodial parent gets raked over the coals...?
please, explain...
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Zomby Woof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 09:17 PM
Response to Reply #42
74. She is not shy
...about bringing her own baggage into an argument.
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SeattleGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 06:33 PM
Response to Reply #10
50. Since you don't know all the details of this situation, your comment
is completely out of line.

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slackmaster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 08:46 PM
Response to Reply #10
68. Insensitive much?
:nuke:
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BoneDaddy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 02:48 PM
Response to Reply #10
110. ignorant
post.
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apocalypsehow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 04:43 PM
Response to Reply #10
124. And another self-righteous prick is heard from. Sweet. n/t.
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Le Taz Hot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 04:48 PM
Response to Original message
11. Sounds like the guy has
tapped into the unmitigated sexism with regards to fathers' custody rights and is, most likely, making a mint off of their despair. My husband went to a local lawyer who claimed she specialized in fathers' rights. We believed it and forked over $5,000. We got NOTHING for our time and money. Add to that the $1,000 a month for a 20-YEAR OLD (when the child support started) he hasn't been allowed to see in 17 years. We finally finished paying it off last May.
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 05:02 PM
Response to Reply #11
16. Oh, geeze, that's horrible.
Yes, there is rampant sexism in these cases. It's a real turnaround from the 80s when I had to deal with a real deadbeat dad.

My brother's three daughters are his focus and have been since they were born.

I'm just trying to find enough on this Gac person to know if it's a shot he should take or (more likely) if it's a scam he should avoid.

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WolverineDG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 07:32 PM
Response to Reply #16
60. He should spend his money on a real lawyer nt
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 07:33 PM
Response to Reply #60
61. Yep. I'm trying to help find him one right now. nt
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liberalhistorian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 08:46 PM
Response to Reply #16
69. If that were really true, then why do I and so many other women
I know and know have such trouble getting even the piddly amounts we're owed???????
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WolverineDG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 12:55 PM
Response to Reply #69
98. I've seen both of these situations
but just because it is more common for custodial parents to be owed child support doesn't negate the court's (or anyone else's for that matter) responsibility to see that the non-custodial parent pays only what is fair in their particular case. And $700 a WEEK is too damn high when the NCP's paycheck is only $900. Mom wants more money? She can get off her ass & work like the rest of us.

dg
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 03:28 PM
Response to Reply #98
121. His ex has problems. After she got the increase and he had to give up
Edited on Tue Dec-08-09 03:29 PM by EFerrari
his house (which he rented to accomodate the girls) the very weekend he was moving, she called him up to tell him that she needed him to have the girls more often.

And he has part time custody, I don't know the split, maybe 1/3.

But the timing of that call is telling to me, anyway. I don't think any amount of money can fix that.
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WolverineDG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 03:34 PM
Response to Reply #121
122. Yeah, well, I guess I'm a big ol' meanie
but I think it's time for Mommy to step up to the financial plate & start providing financially for the kids too. Then your brother won't have to provide 100% of the financial support for the kids (who you state are now out of the house most of the time anyway) & might be able to afford a nicer place for the kids to stay when they visit.
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Kalyke Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 01:04 PM
Response to Reply #11
101. When did he divorce? When the child was three?
That's called restitution and it's perfectly legal.
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Le Taz Hot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 04:06 PM
Response to Reply #101
123. Shotgun wedding but they never lived together.
He paid for 18 years. Never got behind and always on time. Many times he actually sent more than was ordered. Finally, he got a notice from the state of New York that he was done with his obligation when she turned 18. Yay! THEN the state of California got into it and, according to their child support laws, the non-custodial parent is obligated to continue to pay child support if the child is going to college until he/she is 23. But this is it. We would have been HAPPY to pay her tuition, books and expenses if we had just known. We didn't. And here's the REAL kicker! The child support of $1,000 a month was assessed by CALIFORNIA (she was going to school in New York) as of January 2004. We weren't notified until October of 2004 which means right off the bat we were $10,000 in arrears without even knowing it! Don't EVEN ask me how California got into all of this. So . . . we paid $1,000 a month so we wouldn't get any further behind PLUS $500.00 a month towards the arrears. That's $1500 a month for one child. AND . . . because the books showed my husband was in arrears (even though we began paying as soon as we were notified), THEY TOOK AWAY HIS DRIVERS LICENSE until it was all paid back. Restitution? Really? I call it legalized blackmail.
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noamnety Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 04:48 PM
Response to Original message
12. I don't know about that group, but I'd check with friends of the court.
Edited on Mon Dec-07-09 04:50 PM by noamnety
In Michigan, Friends of the Court has a straight forward sliding scale where they put in each spouse's income and it calculates what child support should be (regardless of gender). Seems like his state should have a similar thing. The noncustodial parent will want to add in that child support is abated by X% when they have visitation. (Could be 50%, could be 100% - should be something, though.)

Other issues to consider: which parent has access to a family health insurance plan. Maybe only one does, and the other might need to contribute to premiums for the child in addition to child support (or if the person paying support is the one with the insurance plan, it might be deducted from what the scale says is their fair share.) If there are day care expenses while the child is small, that might be in addition to child support, and of course that expense disappears once the kid's old enough to not need day care. That's not usually for a baby sitter for the custodial parent to go out on the town, it's more like school ends at 2pm and the custodial parent doesn't get off work til 5, so they need to be in a latch key program.

Disclaimer: I'm not a lawyer, I'm just someone who's been through the system.

Without knowing where he stands in relation to the Friends of the Court chart, it's hard to tell much. I know you didn't ask about that, only about the company's rep. But it should be free or very low cost to request FOC to give their recommendation for support based on each party's income. That's how ours was determined, and at several points when our income levels changed (promotions, layoffs), whoever thought they were getting screwed would go in and request for it to be refigured. That doesn't need to be set in stone for 18 years. If either parent gets laid off, that is their cue to get their butt in to request new math, and you can't wait on that because they won't do it retroactively.

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The Straight Story Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 04:48 PM
Response to Original message
13. Oh and men don't have issues-we have all the power. Which is why I don't live with any of my 5 kids
go figure....
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 05:06 PM
Response to Reply #13
17. This is about killing me. I WISH my own boys' father had been as into his kids
as my brother has been. There was never a question from day - 8 months and 29 days what kind of dad he would be.

Anyway, if anyone knows about this Dennis Gac guy or about his fathershelphotline, I sure would appreciate any info, good or bad. My brother needs help, not a scammer cashing in on the misery of others.
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dgibby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 05:16 PM
Response to Original message
25. Check with your state's Atty Gen
They should be able to tell you if there are any lawsuits/complaints, also any state or national consumers groups. What about Snopes or some other site like that?

Good luck.

K&R in hopes more people see this and you get the answers your looking for.
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 05:18 PM
Response to Reply #25
26. Thanks, dgibby!
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mamaleah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 05:24 PM
Response to Original message
28. Instead of using some thing he found online wouldn't it be better to pay a lawyer who might actually
be able to provide him with real legal advice and help?

I am really sorry your brother is going through this. I have to say the family court system tends to be very biased against father.

K&R and I hope you get an answer!
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 05:32 PM
Response to Reply #28
31. Out of his $200 dollars?
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mamaleah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 05:43 PM
Response to Reply #31
35. Fair point.
There have to be some decent pro-bono lawyers that can help....

Again, I am really really sorry you all are going through this.
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 05:52 PM
Response to Reply #35
37. Thanks, mamaleah.
Bad things happen sometimes. :(
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Lex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 05:30 PM
Response to Original message
30. Isn't the child support formula based on his income?
It is in my state.

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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 05:34 PM
Response to Reply #30
32. I always thought it was. But what kind of formula
this judge is using it over my head. :shrug:
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Lex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 05:37 PM
Response to Reply #32
34. Maybe if he goes to court to prove his current income situation, then
the amount can be adjusted--if it was calculated using old income information.

In NC the calculation is based on income so that there is a reasonalbe amount left to live on for the father. (Now in one instance I saw in court, some guy had a big boat payment and the judge told him he would have to sell the boat if he couldn't afford it AND make his child support payments, or get a 2nd job.)



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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 05:51 PM
Response to Reply #34
36. My bro doesn't have any boats. Just a few saxes that he needs for work.
lol

If he did have a boat, I'd be the first one to kick his @ss.

The system up here must be overloaded or something because this jdgement isn't going to work. It doesn't look like anyone is really paying attention to the basic math.
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Born_A_Truman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 06:36 PM
Response to Reply #32
53. The formula is because his ex-wife has no job, no income
She shows zero income. The state calculates the income and some expenses of each parent and the time awarded to each, who has primary physical custody, etc. Has your brother done the numbers?

http://www.childsup.ca.gov/Resources/CalculateChildSupport/tabid/114/Default.aspx
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 06:47 PM
Response to Reply #53
56. Sure he has. And they made more sense when the girls were younger
Edited on Mon Dec-07-09 06:48 PM by EFerrari
and his ex wanted to stay home for them. Now, not so much. She's got the same ed level he does and a good resume of her own. But she doesn't seem inclined to do more than volunteer at the high school at the moment. It's just weird. Because at some point this is going to be unsustainable for my brother. And then what will she do?

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liberalhistorian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 08:49 PM
Response to Reply #56
70. How do you know for sure that she "doesn't seem inclined?"
How do you know she isn't trying to find a job and having sucky luck at it like forty million other Americans?
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dysfunctional press Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 12:54 PM
Response to Reply #70
96. i'm guessing that he's a probably little more informed of the situation than you....
Edited on Tue Dec-08-09 12:55 PM by dysfunctional press
:eyes:
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varelse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 08:50 PM
Response to Reply #56
71. It's already unsustainable now, from the information you've given
can he go back to court to get full custody of the kids? This is horribly unfair, and it will not last.
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 09:47 PM
Response to Reply #71
78. He can go back to court but with what resources?
It's a terrible rock and hard place.

He's always been one of those lucky muscians who get enough union work to get benefits so he's stable in that way. But, he's also capped.

If he's always paying out more than he can afford just to make rent, where does he get the retainer? I need to find a local lawyer that will work with him, I guess. Argh.
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Born_A_Truman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 11:09 PM
Response to Reply #78
80. My daughter went in pro per
He can file to have his support reduced on his own. It will take some research and he can get the forms at the court house.
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 11:34 AM
Response to Reply #80
84. I did my divorce that way but it doesn't seem like a good idea
in this particular situation.
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varelse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 02:03 PM
Response to Reply #78
105. Argh indeed
Your brother isn't being treated fairly by our "justice" system or by his ex wife. I am glad (for him) that he at least has a very supportive, loving sister. I wish I could do more than simply hope that things will improve for all concerned (and that the ex will get off of her butt and get at least a part-time job while the kids are at school).
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SacredCow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 05:36 PM
Response to Reply #30
33. I believe that the laws are different from state to state...
It is in my state- overall, it's a pretty fair way to handle it. But I think there are ways to go around it, if both parties in the divorce are in agreement (how often does THAT happen?).
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 06:34 PM
Response to Reply #30
51. It is in my state too. Kinda thought it was all over, but what the hell do I know?
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hootinholler Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 06:00 PM
Response to Original message
39. Beth you have good instincts...
If it screams scam at you my money is on your perception!

My boys finally graduate high school this year and my child support obligation ends after paying roughly 30% after tax income and having joint custody which is actually joint half time with each of us. Then my pay off the ex obligation begins.

-Hoot
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 06:02 PM
Response to Reply #39
40. Well, thanks, hoot.
I'll remember that as I try to run down more info on this outfit.

:hug:
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MindPilot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 06:03 PM
Response to Original message
41. there are several father's rights organizations
I'd suggest doing a little more research and spending the hundreds of dollars on someone who has a door with the word "attorney" written on it.
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 06:09 PM
Response to Reply #41
43. This Gac guy is an attorney. With a franchise, it looks like to me, anyway.
Edited on Mon Dec-07-09 06:23 PM by EFerrari
But, as you probably know, most attorneys charge hundreds of $ an hour and this Gac guy is promising pie in the sky for only hundreds up front. And he has a web site!

Yeah, I'm going to keep digging.
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MindPilot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 06:29 PM
Response to Reply #43
48. Yeah, your bro needs someone local
who knows the laws, the judges and the folks down at the county office. It may seem like an insurmountable financial obstacle right now, but he's got to know what he does with this today will affect the rest of his life; not a place for snap decisions. Wish him luck for me.
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 06:31 PM
Response to Reply #48
49. Thanks, Mindpilot.
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kelly1mm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 07:17 PM
Response to Original message
57. Since you said he is in San Francisco I ran the numbers =$348 per week
Edited on Mon Dec-07-09 07:43 PM by kelly1mm
based on $900 per week income and O% time with the 3 kids. Unless there are arrears (back child support) or extraordinary expenses then the Judge is way out of wack with the child support guidelines. See an attorney. If you have any more info perhaps others here can give you more advice.
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 07:35 PM
Response to Reply #57
62. There's no arrears. What I need to help him do is find a local lawyer
who knows this judge, as others have said. Thanks.
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proud2BlibKansan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 07:25 PM
Response to Original message
58. That really sucks. Kicking to keep it up top.
:hug:
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 07:36 PM
Response to Original message
63. Thanks so much for all your suggestions. Logging off to
do local digging.
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walldude Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 07:40 PM
Response to Original message
64. Oh man that sucks...
I wouldn't trust that Dennic Gac guy though, at least not till I talked to someone who used him.

I'm almost in the opposite boat. I got custody of my kids. My ex hasn't paid a damn thing in 10 years. I have to pick her up and drive her home if the kids want to see her, she "borrows" money from me, her mom "borrows" money from me. And I have to be the good guy and keep handing it out so my kids have some semblance of a relationship with their mother. It sucks.
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Blue Diadem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 07:45 PM
Response to Original message
65. News artcle has something here:
Edited on Mon Dec-07-09 07:45 PM by Blue Diadem
http://www.usatoday.com/money/companies/regulation/2007-05-31-hiding-assets-usat_N.htm

snip: Dennis Gac, a divorced father who lives in Washington, was among those the IRS and Justice Department recently identified as the owner of a corporation registered by Asset Protection Group. Gac is affiliated with the Father's Help Hotline, an organization whose website advertises "Legal-Kung-Fu" methods aimed at helping fathers facing divorce to cut their child support payments and win favorable custody rights.

Records filed with the King County Auditor's office in Washington show two 1993 federal tax liens against Gac, totaling $111,049. Separately, Washington state court records show judgments totaling nearly $55,000 against Gac for support payments owed his ex-wife and legal fees due her attorney.

"You do an asset search on him, and you don't find anything," said the lawyer, Kevin Scudder. "Yet he drives a nice car and plays squash and has all the nice accouterments."

In a brief interview, Gac acknowledged he had formed a corporation through Asset Protection Group. As in thousands of similar registrations by the Nevada firm, Gac's role was obscured by listing Asset Protection Group head William Reed as the sole officer and signer for the corporate account.
-------------
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 09:44 PM
Response to Reply #65
77. Thank you, I found that, too. I don't think my brother needs someone
who is in trouble with the Justice Department. Geeze. :crazy:
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TexasObserver Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 07:51 PM
Response to Original message
66. Gac is a huckster. Your brother needs a good custody attorney.
The attorney needs to be someone who is familiar with the family court judges in the community where the case for custody resides. A family law custody specialist in the court where the case resides is the best chance of prevailing on all issues, including dealing with custody and child support.

Child support is for the kids, and that is how the courts look at it. They want the non custodial parent to pay, and aren't very understanding when such parents fail to pay. Listening to some jackass like Gac, who owes over $50,000 for child support and has avoided paying it by fraud, is insane. Judges have no tolerance for guys who walk in with their self help "Father's Rights" book in hand.

If your brother is in trouble on child support, he'd better get good advice fast, and he's not headed that direction right now. I favor competent family court women attorneys for men fighting over custody. In family court matters, a female lawyer can often cross examine a female ex better than a male attorney can.
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REACTIVATED IN CT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 10:10 PM
Response to Original message
79. If he can't afford a lawyer, he should do it pro se
Its not that difficult. Been there and done that. Go see the Clerk of the Court and ask for the forms. It may cost him a hundred dollars or so with filing and service of process fees. Someone who responded here ran the numbers and came up with a more realistic amount. When he gets his court appearance, someone at the court will do that. Note that the maximum discussed below is based on disposable income - after taxes and health insurance premiums

Federal Law, in the Consumer Credit Protection Act, (CCPA), 15 USC 1673(b)(2) says

2) The maximum part of the aggregate disposable earnings of an individual for any workweek which is subject to garnishment to enforce any order for the support of any person shall not exceed -

*

(A) where such individual is supporting his spouse or dependent child (other than a spouse or child with respect to whose support such order is used), 50 per centum of such individual's disposable earnings for that week; and
*

(B) where such individual is not supporting such a spouse or dependent child described in clause (A), 60 per centum of such individual's disposable earnings for that week; except that, with respect to the disposable earnings of any individual for any workweek, the 50 per centum specified in clause (A) shall be deemed to be 55 per centum and the 60 per centum specified in clause (B) shall be deemed to be 65 per centum, if and to the extent that such earnings are subject to garnishment to enforce a support order with respect to a period which is prior to the twelve-week period which ends with the beginning of such workweek.
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noamnety Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 11:27 PM
Response to Reply #79
81. One more vote for skipping the lawyer.
My ex and I went through refiguring this a few times, always without a lawyer. It really wasn't all that difficult. If it goes badly, he can always try again with a lawyer, but it's just so expensive I wouldn't bother.

The FOC meetings were just in a cubicle, they weren't in court itself.

Also, at one point when my ex didn't work by choice, they figured "imputed" income - meaning he was able bodied and capable of working, but was opting not to. If the kids are all in school, I believe that might apply to her.
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 12:00 PM
Response to Reply #81
87. I think he's now at the "it went badly" stage. And the venue
is an small upscale Bay Area community. I don't think they imputed any income to the mother. She chose to move there and my brother followed so he could continue to be engaged with the kids activities.
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REACTIVATED IN CT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 12:23 PM
Response to Reply #81
88. Same here - went into the courtroom and then into an
anteroom with a "counselor" who ran the numbers, then back before the judge who blessed it.

Your brother can more than likely read up on the process on the court's website. I'm sure it is something he can do on his own. Lots of folks do.
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 03:06 PM
Response to Reply #88
115. My brother is somewhat ADD and not his own best advocate.
I did my divorce that way -- I even helped my ex write up his responses and we had two kids. It went fine.

My brother has short term memory problems and doesn't process verbal communication as well as most people. You'd never even notice it until you knew him pretty well. No judge is ever going to get that.

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ohheckyeah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 11:37 PM
Response to Original message
82. I found this:
Dennis Gac, a divorced father who lives in Washington, was among those the IRS and Justice Department recently identified as the owner of a corporation registered by Asset Protection Group. Gac is affiliated with the Father's Help Hotline, an organization whose website advertises "Legal-Kung-Fu" methods aimed at helping fathers facing divorce to cut their child support payments and win favorable custody rights.

Records filed with the King County Auditor's office in Washington show two 1993 federal tax liens against Gac, totaling $111,049. Separately, Washington state court records show judgments totaling nearly $55,000 against Gac for support payments owed his ex-wife and legal fees due her attorney.

"You do an asset search on him, and you don't find anything," said the lawyer, Kevin Scudder. "Yet he drives a nice car and plays squash and has all the nice accouterments."

In a brief interview, Gac acknowledged he had formed a corporation through Asset Protection Group. As in thousands of similar registrations by the Nevada firm, Gac's role was obscured by listing Asset Protection Group head William Reed as the sole officer and signer for the corporate account.

"That's the way the accounts were set up," said Gac, adding, "I don't know anything about that other legal stuff."
http://www.usatoday.com/money/companies/regulation/2007-05-31-hiding-assets-usat_N.htm
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 11:37 AM
Response to Reply #82
85. He doesn't know anything about that other legal stuff and HE'S A LAWYER.
I found that, too, but missed that quote. Sheesh.
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bluestateguy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 11:40 AM
Response to Original message
86. Fathers rights are not all that popular around here, unfortunately
There is an ethos that certain people have that suggests that all fathers who owe alimony or child support are by definition dead beats and losers.
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 02:59 PM
Response to Reply #86
114. Talking about divorce makes a lot of us irrational.
It sort of goes with the territory / topic. Yeah, I know, having seen my divorced parents work it out beautifully over time, dealing with a real deadbeat dad that I divorced, and now watching my brother go through this. On top of everything else, he feels GUILTY as if he's failing in some way. And he's among the very small per centage of working musicians in this area that actually make a real living. Unreal. He doesn't deserve this shit.
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Kalyke Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 12:53 PM
Response to Original message
94. How can one get creamed over child support?
The state bases child support on the number of children and a certain percentage of income. There's no "creaming." It is what it is.

I don't know who Dennic Gac is, but if he's advocating hiding money from the court so your children won't receive it, then he sounds like an asshole to me.
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WolverineDG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 12:57 PM
Response to Reply #94
99. It happens a lot in states that allow the NCP to stay at home
making no income & forcing the CP to make up the difference.

dg
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liberalhistorian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 01:53 PM
Response to Reply #94
104. He certainly IS an asshole, for two reasons.
One is the reason you've given, and the other is that he takes money from desperate people claiming to be able to help them and then doesn't do a damned thing for them. He's just another con shark who's found a group to exploit and has gotten rich off of doing just that without doing anything for them. There are legitimate attorneys who could do the same thing, often for less than him.
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 02:46 PM
Response to Reply #94
108. He sounds like an asshole to me, too.
And, you can get creamed when the court orders you to pay out more than 70% of your income, leaving you without enough to live on so you can keep working to support your children. That's how.

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fizzgig Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 12:55 PM
Response to Original message
97. get in touch with the local bar association
i know that some of them offer certain services pro bono.

good luck to your brother
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-08-09 02:48 PM
Response to Reply #97
111. I wish we could find a referral from someone who has already been through this
in this venue, if not with this judge.

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