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nicknameless Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-20-07 03:40 PM
Original message
** Bullying** The Biggest Online Resource: BullyOnline.org
This is a gigantic website, with MANY linked subcategory pages.
Homepage: http://www.BullyOnline.org
This website is so large that it helps to check out the links at the bottom of each page.
There appear to be too many subcategories to list on just one page.

SOME CATEGORIES:

School and Child Bullying, bullycide, myths, and advice for parents:
http://www.bullyonline.org/schoolbully/index.htm

How bullying injures your health. Understanding psychiatric injury, stress, denial, trauma, PTSD, self-harm, suicide:
http://www.bullyonline.org/stress/index.htm

Also, Stress and the effects of stress on health:
The injury to health caused by prolonged negative stress, including fatigue and CFS, anxiety, depression, immune system suppression, IBS, aches, pains, numbness and panic attacks:
http://www.bullyonline.org/stress/health.htm

How can I recognise that I'm being bullied?
http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/amibeing.htm

Description of the Serial Bully:
http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/serial.htm

Workplace bullying. What it is, how to recognize it, myths, facts, costs, and why me?
http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/index.htm

You are not alone: bullying survivor stories:
http://www.bullyonline.org/cases/index.htm

Bully action. Practical advice for tackling bullying, legal action and case law:
http://www.bullyonline.org/action/index.htm

Bullying in the family:
http://www.bullyonline.org/familybully/index.htm

Resources on bullying:
http://www.bullyonline.org/resources/index.htm

Related issues: Violence, rage, stalking and spree killing:
http://www.bullyonline.org/related/index.htm

These are just *some* of the pages linked at "Related issues”:
Bullying by neighbours | Bullying by landlords
Bullying by the church | Bullying and cults | Bullying and prisons
Bullying and whistleblowing | Bullying and stammering
Bullying and age discrimination | Bullying and long hours
Bullying and minorities | Bullying of gays and lesbians
Transsexuals and bullying | Bullying and disfigurement
Bullying and adoption | Bullying and eating disorders
Bullying and racism | Bullying because you're seen as overweight or fat
The cost of drugs and alcohol at work | Corporate bullying and fad-speak
Working from home | Management consultants
Bullying and business ethics | Toxic management | Bullying and fat cats
Bullying and call centres | Bullying and snooping
Cyberbullying, emails and the Internet
Abusive telephone calls | Bullying and mobile phones



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wicket Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-20-07 03:41 PM
Response to Original message
1. Great info
Thanks.
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Phredicles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-20-07 03:43 PM
Response to Original message
2. Great resource - thanks!
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nicknameless Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-20-07 04:04 PM
Response to Original message
3. Another page that discusses who usually gets targeted by bullies:
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autorank Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-20-07 04:30 PM
Response to Original message
4. I can't say enough good things about this post.


These are excellent resources and they address a major problem in our culture.

From "mean girls" to playground bullies, we've got to keep an eye on this type of behavior
and stop it. It's harmful to the victim and it sets the child into a distorted pattern of
behavior that usually has a very negative outcome. It's obviously imitated by these kids
based on what they see at home, parents or siblings who bully.

If people would just take the time to show their kids a good model of dealing with others,
this problem would vanish, largely, overnight.

Thanks for posting.

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Blue Diadem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-20-07 04:34 PM
Response to Original message
5. Thank you for posting this.
I'm bookmarking for later reading. Discussing this and keeping it in the open is extremely important.

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Bucky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-20-07 05:19 PM
Response to Original message
6. I had no idea there was such a resource online. Thanks for this.
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applegrove Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-20-07 06:28 PM
Response to Original message
7. Excellent site. Right on to the details.
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ends_dont_justify Donating Member (367 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-20-07 06:37 PM
Response to Original message
8. ...oh my O.o
It seems my mother fits every last one of those descriptions in 'how to tell if you're being bullied'. I was almost led to believe that my aggression towards her was just my own fault and my inability to see the truth...god, every last one of those descriptions.

Thank you for posting this...I just got used to a lot of the constant abuse and criticism in private.
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nicknameless Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-21-07 03:52 AM
Response to Reply #8
10. When we grow up in dysfunctional families, it can be very difficult to know the truth.
Like that saying, "Fish don't understand water."
When we're too immersed in it, we can't really see what's going on.

I'm very glad you found this information to be helpful.
Having a few sociopaths in my past, I can relate.
Isn't it nice to see that all along, it wasn't you?

:)
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SoCalDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-23-07 05:46 PM
Response to Reply #10
15. The sad thing abourt bullying, is that usually other kids/teachers
are about the only ones who can blow the whistle on the bullies. Bullies don't race home after school to tell Mom & Dad about the kid they tormented that day..and the bullied kid is often too humiliated to admit that he/she was the target of bullies.
Kids who look the other way probably fear becoming the new target
Teachers who speak out probably fear being attacked by the parents who may not believe their little darling did it.

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nicknameless Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-24-07 02:45 AM
Response to Reply #15
19. The worst is when the victim lives with the bully(ies).
1) They’ve usually been indoctrinated into believing that *they* are the problem.
2) They have no one to turn to.
3) Their problem cannot be solved by changing teachers or even schools.

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shance Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-24-07 03:57 AM
Response to Reply #10
20. Perfect timing Nick. I'm going through this right now with some in my family.
The brother and sister-in law who,ironically I was closest to while growing up.

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nicknameless Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-24-07 07:58 PM
Response to Reply #20
23. Hang in there, and good luck.
There is no excuse for bullying.

For what it's worth, the sibling I was closest to is now a bushbot.
Sometimes the past is a poor indicator of the future.

:shrug:
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Kurovski Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-20-07 10:38 PM
Response to Original message
9. K&R.
:hi:
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liberalla Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-21-07 09:03 AM
Response to Original message
11. Thank you so much for this info!
Very valuable!
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nicknameless Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-21-07 02:00 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. You're very welcome
I had the great fortune of stumbling onto this website a few years ago.
It opened my eyes and answered countless questions I'd had for decades.

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nicknameless Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-21-07 02:35 PM
Response to Original message
13. Bullying causes stress ... Stress plays havoc with the body's immune system.
Symptoms

The symptoms of stress seem to cover more pages of every book published on the subject.
Stress caused by bullying results in these symptoms (and more):

* main symptoms - stress, anxiety, sleeplessness, fatigue (including Chronic Fatigue Syndrome - see below), trauma
* physical symptoms - reduced immunity to infection leading to frequent colds, coughs, flu, glandular fever, etc (especially on days off, eg weekends and holidays), aches & pains (with no clear cause - this lack of attributability suggests stress as the cause - sometimes diagnosed as fibromyalgia), back pain, chest pains and angina, high blood pressure, headaches and migraines, sweating, palpitations, trembling, hormonal problems (disturbed menstrual cycle, dysmenorrhoea, loss of libido, impotence), physical numbness (especially in toes, fingers, and lips), emotional numbness (including anhedonia, an inability to feel joy and love), irritable bowel syndrome or IBS, paruresis (shy bladder syndrome), thyroid problems, petit mal seizures, skin irritations and skin disorders (eg athlete's foot, eczema, psoriasis, shingles, internal and external ulcers, urticaria), loss of appetite (although a few people react by overeating), excessive or abnormal thirst, waking up more tired than when you went to bed, etc
* psychological symptoms - panic attacks, reactive depression (which some people describe as Adjustment Disorder with depressed mood), thoughts of suicide, stress breakdown (this is a psychiatric injury, not a mental illness), forgetfulness, impoverished or intermittently functioning memory, poor concentration, flashbacks and replays, excessive guilt, disbelief and confusion and bewilderment ("why me?" - click here for the answer), an unusual degree of fear, sense of isolation, insecurity, desperation, etc; one experiences acute anxiety at the prospect of meeting the bully or visiting the location where the bullying took place, or at the thought of touching the paperwork associated with the case; one is unable to attend disciplinary meetings and may vomit before, during or after the meeting, sometimes at the thought of the meeting or on receiving a threatening letter insisting one attends (these are PTSD diagnostic criteria B4 and B5)
* behavioural symptoms - tearfulness, irritability, angry outbursts, obsessiveness (the experience takes over your life), hypervigilance (feels like but is not paranoia), hypersensitivity (almost every remark or action is perceived as critical even when it is not), sullenness (a sign the inner psyche has been damaged), mood swings, withdrawal, indecision, loss of humour, hyperawareness (acute awareness of time, seasons, distance travelled), excessive biting, teeth grinding, picking, scratching or tics, increased reliance on drugs (tannin, caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, sleeping tablets, tranquillisers, antidepressants, other substances), comfort spending (and consequent financial problems), phobias (especially agoraphobia), etc
* effects on personality - shattered self-confidence and self-esteem, low self-image, loss of self-worth and self-love

Other symptoms and disorders reported include sleep disorder, bipolar disorder, mood disorder, eating disorder, anxiety disorder, panic disorder, skin disorder.

Increasingly researchers are suggesting that diabetes, asthma, allergies, fibromyalgia, multiple sclerosis (MS), chronic fatigue syndrome (ME) and even some forms of cancer are caused or aggravated by stress. An article in Biologist (T cells divide and rule in Gulf War syndrome (and asthma, TB, cancer, ME), Jenny Bryan, Immunology section in The Biologist, (1997) 44 (5)) suggests that a shared immunological defect may link many disorders. Others suggest that the inappropriateness of the stress response in dealing with modern threats - which are largely psychological rather than physical - is to blame.

The traumatising effect of bullying results in the target being unable to state clearly what is happening to them and who is responsible; the target may be so traumatised that they are unable to articulate their experience for a year or more after the event.
( ... )

Another frustration is incorrect diagnosis by a medical or mental health professional who doesn't understand Complex PTSD or who is antagonistic towards the concept of psychiatric injury. If you're under one of these characters, ditch them immediately as they will sabotage both your legal case and your efforts to recover. False diagnoses commonly given include schizophrenia, paranoia, work phobia, school phobia, borderline personality disorder (as a cause rather than a symptom), etc.

Bullying results in strong feelings of fear, shame, embarrassment, and guilt, which are encouraged by the bully to keep their target quiet. This is how all abusers (including child sex abusers) silence their targets. For detailed reasons why targets of abuse don't or can't report their abuse, click here.

Work colleagues often withdraw their support and then join in with the bullying, which increases the stress and consequent psychiatric injury ( ... )

Poor concentration, impaired memory, and fatigue are common and early signs of excessive stress. These have significant Health & Safety implications if the employee drives a vehicle, operates machinery, or is responsible for the care or welfare of others as part of their duties. RoSPA estimate that in the UK at least 1000 road deaths each year involve people for whom driving is part of their job. Fatigue is a major factor.

MUCH MUCH more at the link. http://www.bullyonline.org/stress/health.htm

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nicknameless Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-23-07 05:43 PM
Response to Original message
14. Bullying and PTSD
http://www.bullyonline.org/stress/ptsd.htm

Definition

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a natural emotional reaction to a deeply shocking and disturbing experience. It is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is defined in DSM-IV, the fourth edition of the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual. For a doctor or mental health professional to be able to make a diagnosis, the condition must be defined in DSM-IV or its international equivalent, the World Health Organization's ICD-10.

In the previous version of DSM (DSM-III) a criterion of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder was for the sufferer to have faced a single major life-threatening event; this criterion was present because a) it was thought that PTSD could not be a result of "normal" events such as bereavement, business failure, interpersonal conflict, bullying, harassment, stalking, marital disharmony, working for the emergency services, etc, and b) most of the research on PTSD had been undertaken with people who had suffered a threat to life (eg combat veterans, especially from Vietnam, victims of accident, disaster, and acts of violence).

In DSM-IV the requirement was eased although most mental health practitioners continue to interpret diagnostic criterion A1 as applying only to a single major life-threatening event. There is growing recognition that Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can result from many types of emotionally shocking experience including an accumulation of small, individually non-life-threatening events in which case the resultant PTSD is referred to as Complex PTSD.

DSM-IV diagnostic criteria for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

The diagnostic criteria for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) are defined in DSM-IV as follows:

A. The person experiences a traumatic event in which both of the following were present:

1. the person experienced or witnessed or was confronted with an event or events that involved actual or threatened death or serious injury, or a threat to the physical integrity of self or others;
2. the person's response involved intense fear, helplessness, or horror.

B. The traumatic event is persistently re-experienced in any of the following ways:

1. recurrent and intrusive distressing recollections of the event, including images, thoughts or perceptions;
2. recurrent distressing dreams of the event;
3. acting or feeling as if the traumatic event were recurring (eg reliving the experience, illusions, hallucinations, and dissociative flashback episodes, including those on wakening or when intoxicated);
4. intense psychological distress at exposure to internal or external cues that symbolise or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event;
5. physiological reactivity on exposure to internal or external cues that symbolise or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event.

C. Persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma and numbing of general responsiveness (not present before the trauma) as indicated by at least three of:

1. efforts to avoid thoughts, feelings or conversations associated with the trauma;
2. efforts to avoid activities, places or people that arouse recollections of this trauma;
3. inability to recall an important aspect of the trauma;
4. markedly diminished interest or participation in significant activities;
5. feeling of detachment or estrangement from others;
6. restricted range of affect (eg unable to have loving feelings);
7. sense of a foreshortened future (eg does not expect to have a career, marriage, children or a normal life span).

D. Persistent symptoms of increased arousal (not present before the trauma) as indicated by at least two of the following:

1. difficulty falling or staying asleep;
2. irritability or outbursts of anger;
3. difficulty concentrating;
4. hypervigilance;
5. exaggerated startle response.

E. The symptoms on Criteria B, C and D last for more than one month.

F. The disturbance causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning.

The focus of the DSM-IV definition of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a single life-threatening event or threat to integrity. However, the symptoms of traumatic stress also arise from an accumulation of small incidents rather than one major incident. Examples include:

* repeated exposure to horrific scenes at accidents or fires, such as those endured by members of the emergency services (eg bodies mutilated in car crashes, or horribly burnt or disfigured by fire, or dismembered or disembowelled in aeroplane disasters, etc)
* repeated involvement in dealing with serious crime, eg where violence has been used and especially where children are hurt
* breaking news of bereavement caused by accident or violence, especially if children are involved
* repeated violations such as in verbal abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse and sexual abuse
* regular intrusion and violation, both physical and psychological, as in bullying, stalking, harassment, domestic violence, etc

Where the symptoms are the result of a series of events, the term Complex PTSD (formerly referred to unofficially as Prolonged Duress Stress Disorder or PDSD) may be more appropriate. Whilst Complex PTSD is not yet an official diagnosis in DSM-IV or ICD-10, it is often used in preference to other terms such as "rolling PTSD", "PDSD", and "cumulative stress". See the National Center for PTSD fact page on Complex PTSD.

Causes of PTSD

PTSD resulting from accident, disaster, war, terrorism, torture, kidnap, etc has been extensively studied and literature is available elsewhere. The first written reference to PTSD symptoms comes from the sixth century BC; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is nothing new - and neither is the willingness of some people to discredit and deny the existence of the disorder.

This section of Bully OnLine focuses on PTSD and Complex PTSD resulting from bullying, primarily in the workplace, however anyone suffering PTSD (however caused) will find this page enlightening.

Most of the information on this page and web site is relevant to other types of bullying, eg at school, in relationships (including domestic violence), by families, by neighbours or landlords, in the care of the elderly, in the armed services, etc. Bullying is behind harassment, discrimination, prejudice and persecution, therefore targets of repeated sexual harassment or racial discrimination or religious or ethnic persecution will also identify with the symptoms. The insight about bullying on this web site is therefore also relevant to more serious issues including physical abuse, repeated verbal abuse, sexual abuse, violent crime, kidnap, abduction, rape, war, terrorism, torture, and denial and abuse of human rights. Those exploring Contact Experience may also find this page helpful.

PTSD, Complex PTSD and bullying

It's widely accepted that PTSD can result from a single, major, life-threatening event, as defined in DSM-IV. Now there is growing awareness that PTSD can also result from an accumulation of many small, individually non-life-threatening incidents. To differentiate the cause, the term "Complex PTSD" is used. The reason that Complex PTSD is not in DSM-IV is that the definition of PTSD in DSM-IV was derived using only people who had suffered a single major life-threatening incident such as Vietnam veterans and survivors of disasters.

Note: there has recently been a trend amongst some psychiatric professionals to label people suffering Complex PTSD as a exhibiting a personality disorder, especially Borderline Personality Disorder. This is not the case - PTSD, Complex or otherwise, is a psychiatric injury and nothing to do with personality disorders. If there is an overlap, then Borderline Personality Disorder should be regarded as a psychiatric injury, not a personality disorder. If you encounter a psychiatrist, psychologist or other mental health professional who wants to label your Complex PTSD as a personality disorder, change to another, more competent professional.

It seems that Complex PTSD can potentially arise from any prolonged period of negative stress in which certain factors are present, which may include any of captivity, lack of means of escape, entrapment, repeated violation of boundaries, betrayal, rejection, bewilderment, confusion, and - crucially - lack of control, loss of control and disempowerment. It is the overwhelming nature of the events and the inability (helplessness, lack of knowledge, lack of support etc) of the person trying to deal with those events that leads to the development of Complex PTSD. Situations which might give rise to Complex PTSD include bullying, harassment, abuse, domestic violence, stalking, long-term caring for a disabled relative, unresolved grief, exam stress over a period of years, mounting debt, contact experience, etc. Those working in regular traumatic situations, eg the emergency services, are also prone to developing Complex PTSD.

A key feature of Complex PTSD is the aspect of captivity. The individual experiencing trauma by degree is unable to escape the situation. Despite some people's assertions to the contrary, situations of domestic abuse and workplace abuse can be extremely difficult to get out of. In the latter case there are several reasons, including financial vulnerability (especially if you're a single parent or main breadwinner - the rate of marital breakdown is approaching 50% in the UK), unavailability of jobs, ageism (many people who are bullied are over 40), partner unable to move, and kids settled in school and you are unable or unwilling to move them. The real killer, though, is being unable to get a job reference - the bully will go to great lengths to blacken the person's name, often for years, and it is this lack of reference more than anything else which prevents people escaping.

Until recently, little (or no) attention was paid to the psychological harm caused by bullying and harassment. Misperceptions (usually as a result of the observer's lack of knowledge or lack of empathy) still abound: "It's something you have to put up with" (like rape or repeated sexual abuse?) and "Bullying toughens you up" (ditto). Armed forces personnel faced threats of being labelled with "cowardice" and "lack of moral fibre" (LMF) if they gave in to the symptoms of PTSD. In World War I, 306 British and Commonwealth soldiers were shot as "cowards" and "deserters" on the orders of General Haig in an act which today would be treated as a war crime - see separate page on this injustice.

In the UK at least 16 children kill themselves each year because they are being bullied at school. This figure is established in the book Bullycide: death at playtime. Each of these deaths is unnecessary, foreseeable, and preventable. The UK has one of the highest adult suicide rates in Europe: around 5000 a year. The number of adults in the UK committing suicide because of bullying is unknown. Each year 19,000 children attempt suicide in the UK - one every half hour. in the UK, suicide is the number one cause of death for 18-24-year-old males. Females also attempt suicide in large numbers but tend to use less successful means.

Since Andrea Adams first identified workplace bullying and gave it its name in 1988, recognition of adult bullying has grown steadily. Tim Field's UK National Workplace Bullying Advice Line has logged over 8000 cases in seven years; in the majority of cases (over 80%), the caller is a white-collar worker who has become the prey of a serial bully whose behaviour profile suggests a disordered personality. Callers refer to predecessors who have had stress breakdowns, taken early or ill-health retirement, or been dismissed on grounds of ill-health - all caused by the same individual. Sometimes callers refer to suicides of fellow employees.

Mapping the health effects of bullying onto PTSD and Complex PTSD
Repeated bullying, often over a period of years, results in symptoms of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. How do the PTSD symptoms resulting from bullying meet the criteria in DSM-IV?

A. The prolonged (chronic) negative stress resulting from bullying has lead to threat of loss of job, career, health, livelihood, often also resulting in threat to marriage and family life. The family are the unseen victims of bullying.
A.1.One of the key symptoms of prolonged negative stress is reactive depression; this causes the balance of the mind to be disturbed, leading first to thoughts of, then attempts at, and ultimately, suicide.
A.2.The target of bullying may be unaware that they are being bullied, and even when they do realise (there's usually a moment of enlightenment as the person realises that the criticisms and tactics of control etc are invalid), they often cannot bring themselves to believe they are dealing with a disordered personality who lacks a conscience and does not share the same moral values as themselves. Naivety is the great enemy. The target of bullying is bewildered, confused, frightened, angry - and after enlightenment, very angry. For an answer to the question Why me? click here.

B.1. The target of bullying experiences regular intrusive violent visualisations and replays of events and conversations; often, the endings of these replays are altered in favour of the target.
B.2. Sleeplessness, nightmares and replays are a common feature of being bullied.
B.3. The events are constantly relived; night-time and sleep do not bring relief as it becomes impossible to switch the brain off. Such sleep as is achieved is non-restorative and people wake up as tired, and often more tired, than when they went to bed.
B.4. Fear, horror, chronic anxiety, and panic attacks are triggered by any reminder of the experience, eg receiving threatening letters from the bully, the employer, or personnel about disciplinary hearings etc.
B.5. Panic attacks, palpitations, sweating, trembling, ditto.
Criteria B4 and B5 manifest themselves as immediate physical and mental paralysis in response to any reminder of the bullying or prospect of having to take action against the bully.

C. Physical numbness (toes, fingertips, lips) is common, as is emotional numbness (especially inability to feel joy). Sufferers report that their spark has gone out and, even years later, find they just cannot get motivated about anything.
C.1. The target of bullying tries harder and harder to avoid saying or doing anything which reminds them of the horror of the bullying.
C.2. Work, especially in the person's chosen field becomes difficult, often impossible, to undertake; the place of work holds such horrific memories that it becomes impossible to set foot on the premises; many targets of bullying avoid the street where the workplace is located.
C.3. Almost all callers to the UK National Workplace Bullying Advice Line report impaired memory; this may be partly due to suppressing horrific memories, and partly due to damage to the hippocampus, an area of the brain linked to learning and memory (see John O'Brien's paper below)
C.4. the person becomes obsessed with resolving the bullying experience which takes over their life, eclipsing and excluding almost every other interest.
C.5. Feelings of withdrawal and isolation are common; the person just wants to be on their own and solitude is sought.
C.6. Emotional numbness, including inability to feel joy (anhedonia) and deadening of loving feelings towards others are commonly reported. One fears never being able to feel love again.
C.7. The target of bullying becomes very gloomy and senses a foreshortened career - usually with justification. Many targets of bullying ultimately give up their career; in the professions, severe psychiatric injury, severely impaired health, refusal by the bully and the employer to give a satisfactory reference, and many other reasons, conspire to bar the person from continuance in their chosen career.

D.1. Sleep becomes almost impossible, despite the constant fatigue; such sleep as is obtained tends to be unsatisfying, unrefreshing and non-restorative. On waking, the person often feels more tired than when they went to bed. Depressive feelings are worst early in the morning. Feelings of vulnerability may be heightened overnight.
D.2. The person has an extremely short fuse and is often permanently irritated, especially by small insignificant events. The person frequently visualises a violent solution, eg arranging an accident for, or murdering the bully; the resultant feelings of guilt tend to hinder progress in recovery.
D.3. Concentration is impaired to the point of precluding preparation for legal action, study, work, or search for work.
D.4. The person is on constant alert because their fight or flight mechanism has become permanently activated.
D.5. The person has become hypersensitized and now unwittingly and inappropriately perceives almost any remark as critical.

E. Recovery from a bullying experience is measured in years. Some people never fully recover.

F. For many, social life ceases and work becomes impossible; the overwhelming need to earn a living combined with the inability to work deepens the trauma.

Common symptoms of PTSD and Complex PTSD that sufferers report experiencing

* hypervigilance (feels like but is not paranoia)
* exaggerated startle response
* irritability
* sudden angry or violent outbursts
* flashbacks, nightmares, intrusive recollections, replays, violent visualisations
* triggers
* sleep disturbance
* exhaustion and chronic fatigue
* reactive depression
* guilt
* feelings of detachment
* avoidance behaviours
* nervousness, anxiety
* phobias about specific daily routines, events or objects
* irrational or impulsive behaviour
* loss of interest
* loss of ambition
* anhedonia (inability to feel joy and pleasure)
* poor concentration
* impaired memory
* joint pains, muscle pains
* emotional numbness
* physical numbness
* low self-esteem
* an overwhelming sense of injustice and a strong desire to do something about it

* * *

MUCH more at link
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bobbolink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-23-07 05:57 PM
Response to Original message
16. THANX!! Could you please also kick and Recommend this related post?!
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x730804

It's not getting so much attention, but is also valuable.

Thanks so much for reposting this! I was looking for it earlier, because a person who has been dealing with this is leaving because of the bullying, and I printed off a bunch of stuff for him.

So, you see, you really helped someone with this.

The health effects were VERY helpful!!

Thanks again, and thanks for kicking and recommending that other thread!
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nicknameless Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-23-07 07:18 PM
Response to Reply #16
18. I'm VERY glad to know that this info helped.
I recommended the other thread as well.

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proud patriot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-23-07 07:05 PM
Response to Original message
17. I'm kicking this great info
Thanks
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shance Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-24-07 12:02 PM
Response to Original message
21. Information kick
n/t
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nicknameless Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-24-07 06:53 PM
Response to Original message
22. How can I recognise that I'm being bullied?
Where are people bullied?

* at work by their manager or co-workers or subordinates, or by their clients (bullying, workplace bullying, mobbing, work abuse, harassment, discrimination)
* at home by their partner or parents or siblings or children (bullying, assault, domestic violence, abuse, verbal abuse)
* at school (bullying, harassment, assault)
* in the care of others, such as in hospital, convalescent homes, care homes, residential homes (bullying, harassment, assault)
* in the armed forces (bullying, harassment, discrimination, assault)
* by those in authority (harassment, abuse of power)
* by neighbours and landlords (bullying, harassment)
* by strangers (harassment, stalking, assault, sexual assault, rape, grievous bodily harm, murder)

How do you know if you're being bullied? Bullying differs from harassment and assault in that the latter can result from a single incident or small number of incidents - which everybody recognises as harassment or assault - whereas bullying tends to be an accumulation of many small incidents over a long period of time. Each incident tends to be trivial, and on its own and out of context does not constitute an offence or grounds for disciplinary or grievance action. So, ...

What is bullying?

* constant nit-picking, fault-finding and criticism of a trivial nature - the triviality, regularity and frequency betray bullying; often there is a grain of truth (but only a grain) in the criticism to fool you into believing the criticism has validity, which it does not; often, the criticism is based on distortion, misrepresentation or fabrication
* simultaneous with the criticism, a constant refusal to acknowledge you and your contributions and achievements or to recognise your existence and value
* constant attempts to undermine you and your position, status, worth, value and potential
* where you are in a group (eg at work), being singled out and treated differently; for instance, everyone else can get away with murder but the moment you put a foot wrong - however trivial - action is taken against you
* being isolated and separated from colleagues, excluded from what's going on, marginalized, overruled, ignored, sidelined, frozen out, sent to Coventry
* being belittled, demeaned and patronised, especially in front of others
* being humiliated, shouted at and threatened, often in front of others
* being overloaded with work, or having all your work taken away and replaced with either menial tasks (filing, photocopying, minute taking) or with no work at all
* finding that your work - and the credit for it - is stolen and plagiarised
* having your responsibility increased but your authority taken away
* having annual leave, sickness leave, and - especially - compassionate leave refused
* being denied training necessary for you to fulfil your duties
* having unrealistic goals set, which change as you approach them
* ditto deadlines which are changed at short notice - or no notice - and without you being informed until it's too late
* finding that everything you say and do is twisted, distorted and misrepresented
* being subjected to disciplinary procedures with verbal or written warnings imposed for trivial or fabricated reasons and without proper investigation
* being coerced into leaving through no fault of your own, constructive dismissal, early or ill-health retirement, etc

For further information on what bullying is, click here. For an answer to the question Why me?, click here.

How do I recognise a bully?

Most bullying is traceable to one person, male or female - bullying is not a gender issue. Bullies are often clever people (especially female bullies) but you can be clever too.

Who does this describe in your life?

* Jekyll & Hyde nature - vicious and vindictive in private, but innocent and charming in front of witnesses; no-one can (or wants to) believe this individual has a vindictive nature - only the current target sees both sides
* is a convincing, compulsive liar and when called to account, will make up anything spontaneously to fit their needs at that moment
* uses lots of charm and is always plausible and convincing when peers, superiors or others are present; the motive of the charm is deception and its purpose is to compensate for lack of empathy
* relies on mimicry to convince others that they are a "normal" human being but their words, writing and deeds are hollow, superficial and glib
* displays a great deal of certitude and self-assuredness to mask their insecurity
* excels at deception
* exhibits unusual inappropriate attitudes to sexual matters or sexual behaviour; underneath the charming exterior there are often suspicions or intimations of sexual harassment, sex discrimination or sexual abuse (sometimes racial prejudice as well)
* exhibits much controlling behaviour and is a control freak
* displays a compulsive need to criticise whilst simultaneously refusing to acknowledge, value and praise others
* when called upon to share or address the needs and concerns of others, responds with impatience, irritability and aggression
* often has an overwhelming, unhealthy and narcissistic need to portray themselves as a wonderful, kind, caring and compassionate person, in contrast to their behaviour and treatment of others; the bully is oblivious to the discrepancy between how they like to be seen (and believe they are seen), and how they are actually seen
* has an overbearing belief in their qualities of leadership but cannot distinguish between leadership (maturity, decisiveness, assertiveness, trust and integrity) and bullying (immaturity, impulsiveness, aggression, distrust and deceitfulness)
* when called to account, immediately and aggressively denies everything, then counter-attacks with distorted or fabricated criticisms and allegations; if this is insufficient, quickly feigns victimhood, often by bursting into tears (the purpose is to avoid answering the question and thus evade accountability by manipulating others through the use of guilt)
* is also ... aggressive, devious, manipulative, spiteful, vengeful, doesn't listen, can't sustain mature adult conversation, lacks a conscience, shows no remorse, is drawn to power, emotionally cold and flat, humourless, joyless, ungrateful, dysfunctional, disruptive, divisive, rigid and inflexible, selfish, insincere, insecure, immature and deeply inadequate, especially in interpersonal skills

I estimate one person in thirty has this behaviour profile. I describe them as having a disordered personality: an aggressive but intelligent individual who expresses their violence psychologically (constant criticism etc) rather than physically (assault). For the full profile, click here; to see and be able to recognise the four most common types of serial bully, click here.

* * *

More info plus numerous clickable links: http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/amibeing.htm

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Lars39 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-24-07 08:04 PM
Response to Reply #22
24. I have painfully learned of another type of bullying the past few days.
The bullying of a care-giver by a care-receiver. I'm not sure I'm ever going to get over this.
My heart is breaking. :cry:
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nicknameless Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-24-07 08:51 PM
Response to Reply #24
25. I am so sorry you’re going through that, Lars.
Being a caregiver can be physically and emotionally exhausting with an *easy-going* patient.
I can’t imagine what it must be like to give of yourself, your time and your emotional caring to someone who is abusing you.

I surely hope you have emotionally supportive people to lean on.
I am so sorry. :( :hug:

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Lars39 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-24-07 09:19 PM
Response to Reply #25
29. Thanks, nicknameless.
I really needed that hug. I'm still kind of shell-shocked. My family's coming up in the morning so we can figure out what to do. :(
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nicknameless Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-25-07 12:46 AM
Response to Reply #29
31. Good luck
I'm VERY glad you'll have people around to help you.
Please take care of yourself.

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BeHereNow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-24-07 08:56 PM
Response to Original message
26. Perhaps some one should mail this link to the Bully Baldwin?
I finally heard the entire tape of the message he left his daughter.
Typical AA lunatic shit.
Have a drink, Mr. Baldwin.
Please.

BHN
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BeHereNow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-24-07 08:56 PM
Response to Original message
27. Self delete- dupe
Edited on Tue Apr-24-07 08:57 PM by BeHereNow
BHN
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BeHereNow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-24-07 08:56 PM
Response to Original message
28. Self delete- dupe
Edited on Tue Apr-24-07 08:56 PM by BeHereNow

BHN
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AZBlue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-24-07 09:26 PM
Response to Original message
30. Just be sure not to go to bullyonline.com - or you'll be reading about Oscar & Eric
(bulldogs)

Thanks for the info - I have the page (the right page) bookmarked!
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nicknameless Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-25-07 12:50 AM
Response to Reply #30
32. LOL -- Careless typing has lead me to their website before.
:)
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shance Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-26-07 10:56 AM
Response to Original message
33. Morning kick*
n/t
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