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"The modern American family is the smallest and most barren family that has ever existed. …Many have never had the least sense of family. I remember sitting down to Christmas dinner eighteen years ago in a communal house in Portland, Oregon, with about twelve others my own age, all of whom had no place they wished to go home to. That house was my first discovery of harmony and community with fellow human beings. This has been the experience of hundreds of thousands of men and women all over America ….Rather than the ‘breakdown of the family,’ we should see this as the transition to a new form of family."
--Gary Snyder; Earth House Hold; 1968.
I’ve quoted from Snyder’s wonderful book, Earth House Hold, several times in previous years on DU. And, while I recognize that this isn’t Christmas, because the book is in large part a commentary on the lessons that tribal societies can teach our modern, high-tech culture, it seems to fit with what I’d like to say this evening. More, what Snyder wrote more than forty years ago is perhaps more important today, than it was then. While it is no more "true" today, than it was yesterday, our society has an increasing need to be exposed to that truth.
A few weeks ago, there were some interesting threads on this forum regarding a possible "men’s issues" forum. I endorsed the proposition, because I think that an open and frank discussion about the rights and responsibilities of both men and women is essential in the quest for social justice. Recently, there has been discussion about possible steps back on women’s health care, as part of the corporate health care deform. Again, this is an issue that should be of interest to every man and woman on this forum. Last night, on the news, I saw a segment where young people described the tensions they endure when they want to go home for the holiday, and bring their Significant Other. We must all recognize that this twisted form of discrimination against family members, based on the person they love, is stark evidence that we live in a society where people continue to suffer from the small-minds and barren consciences of hateful, self-righteous fools.
The "breakdown" of the family is, of course, simply a smaller scale model of the breakdown within our communities, and our society as a whole. Yet we have an opportunity to act upon this, and use the building blocks that others have tossed away to build our own family, our own community, and our own cultural reality.
Other threads on this forum that I have read today indicate that some of this same breakdown is taking place within the Democratic Party. For example, some people are pleased with President Obama, and others are not. Some people urge patience, and others express impatience. Some people believe that progress is being made on health care reform, while others feel betrayed. Some people think that those opposed to the current plan are playing into the hands of republicans; others are convinced that support of the current plan is playing into the hands of corporations. I have no need to attend a family gathering this long weekend to witness a "family feud," I can just read DU:General Discussion.
Last week, my older son posted a couple things on this forum, under "H2O Man." A number of people here encouraged him to continue here – he was thinking of the possibility of becoming "McH2O Man." But, as he explained to me, as interesting as he finds the discussions here, and as friendly as people were to him, he is not entirely comfortable on a forum where he cannot be open and honest about his support of positions and candidates that are to the left of the Democratic Party. In 2008, he worked as a volunteer at the local party headquarters, along with me and other family members. He really does like President Obama, and is convinced that he is sincere about wanting to institute change. But he sees no evidence that the politicians in Congress are willing to go against their corporate masters – unless there is very real pressure from citizens on the local levels.
I understand his position. Oh, yes, I surely do. I understand it for the exact same reasons that I understand why a dozen young adults did not have a home that they wished to return to for the holiday in 1968. Still, I tell him that I think there are advantages to at very least considering this time as providing an opportunity to gather those who are definitely being shunned by the elected officials in Washington, and working with them to re-build within the party. It is possible to re-examine what our role is, and what options are available to use.
Some of us are old enough to remember the Mississippi Freedom Democratic Party. If you don’t know about it, I strongly suggest that you take some time this weekend, and do some research on it. It was made up of grass roots activists, who got tired of helping those people in the party who either took them for granted, or held them in utter contempt. The MFDP took those discarded people, and re-built their own organization, within the Democratic Party. It was strong enough to gain the attention, and then direct support, of Malcolm X. Some members even advocated having Malcolm run for political office, something he considered interesting. Any time an organized group of democrats takes firm positions like that, be assured that those elected representatives begin to pay attention. It doesn’t mean that they’ll like you, or invite you into their homes for a Thanksgiving feast. But they’ll know that you are serious, and that you won’t settle for complaining, or putting your tail between your legs and slinking away.
Now, when a person talks like this, it is natural that many people will say it can’t be done, that it’s a pipe dream, or that they’ve tried this in the past and it didn’t work. Those are the same responses that I often heard in social work, when dealing with families. "Impossible." " Can’t be done." "Pipe dream." "Tried it already, but it doesn’t work." Again, same dynamics, different scale.
From single families to institutions to the larger society, too many people have allowed greedy, mean-spirited, selfish, cruel people in "authority" to run the show. Good people find themselves in extremely dysfunctional, anti-human systems. At first, they try to rebel. Soon, they find it easier to be quiet, to "try to get along to get along." At some point, they become convinced that even if the system isn’t right, it is too big and powerful, and that they are too small and weak, to make meaningful change. It is then that they begin to cooperate with the very system that is robbing them of their humanity. They believe the Big Lie.
My message tonight is a simple one. If you are satisfied with the current environment in Washington – and I mean among democratic representatives, and in no way implying that anyone here is pro-republican – than that is fine. Keep on working in the same direction that you are. But, if you are not satisfied, please consider the option of gathering together in a "new" form of the Democratic Party family, in the style of that Mississippi Democratic Freedom Party. Help to re-define who are family and friends are, and advocate for our values. Our history provides us with valuable lessons and building plans.
Happy Thanksgiving!
H2O Man
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