Understanding the Law: One-Night Stands Versus Polygamy

[Boojatta]

Law Enforcement Officer: Good day, sir.

Innocent Man: Hello, officer.

Law Enforcement Officer: We had an anonymous tip, a complaint against you, and I just want to get your side of the story. Someone claims that when you bring a woman home for the night, there's not a lot of variety involved. Specifically, the complaint is that some nights it's one woman and other nights it's another woman, but there's a total of only two women involved. Please understand that I'm not here to judge you. I'm trying to get the facts, and I want to hear your side of the story.

Innocent Man: The reality is the opposite of what you've heard. When I bring a woman home for the night, it's always a one-night stand. It's a different woman every time.

Law Enforcement Officer: Well, it's perfectly legal to bring home the same woman more than once. I've done it myself.

Innocent Man: That's fine, but I haven't done it.

Law Enforcement Officer: Never?

Innocent Man: No.

Law Enforcement Officer: If that's the truth, then you have nothing to worry about, except maybe for some gossip. You know, people saying that you boast, that you're an uptight prude, that you think you're morally superior. You know, the usual gossip. However, understand this, you will be watched closely. A lot of people have invested a lot of money in this neighborhood, and they don't want illegal activities bringing down property values. Polygamy is illegal.

[Boojatta]

1. Any comments or questions?

[Kansas Wyatt]

2. Big mistake to bring a one night stand HOME

You always go back to her place, and you leave before she wakes up. It's the first line of defense against stalking and unexpected visitors, when you are in the company of someone who reached the third level, which is actually being invited in your home. The second level is the dating level, in case you were curious.

During one night stands, you may have to chew off your arm to get away if she is laying on it, but that's the risk you take. Of course this may depend on what she looks like too, so chewing your arm off may not be necessary. But a clean getaway is usually the best option, so you don't have to deal with the questioning, her giving you her number, and having to promise to call her.

[Berry Cool]

3. Wow, nothing sexist about THAT post.

Sometimes I'm just so proud of my fellow progressives...you know, knowing the men are still into "fuck 'er and forget 'er and take precautions lest she take offense and start stalking your wonderful self" sex...

Women, take note. You're not special to a man just because he fucks you. You're special to him only if he fucks you AT HIS HOUSE.

[Gwendolyn]

6. No actually there IS nothing sexist about that post. It makes perfect sense in today's world.

Women are also advised never to bring men home. Serial killers are loathe to murder anyone in their own abodes as it's difficult to dispose of the body, serial rapists don't do it as the chance for identification is great.

It really works both ways.

And there's absolutely nothing sexist in "fuck em and forget em" either. Many women engage in one night stands for that reason. It's a one time deal only.

[sudopod]

51. If you have to sneak out,

doesn't that seem to imply some dishonesty about one's intentions in the, um, "courtship" phase of date?

Clearly the poster has led the woman to believe that he's not there just to get his rocks off and has to flee to avoid the consequences of this deceit. That's not against the law, but that does make him an asshole.

[Kansas Wyatt]

62. You jump to conclusions. Are you using an alias?

The poster ALWAYS informed partners that it was "A one time deal with NO strings attached."

The leaving before she wakes up does away with having to REPEAT what was said the night before and hurt feelings over why I would not change my position.

Call it being an asshole if you choose, but I stuck to the bargain.

[notadmblnd]

71. if you wouldn't change positions then you must be a lazy f$ck

I prefer to bring my men home. That way they can change the sheets before they get the hell out!

[Gwendolyn]

64. Not necessarily, and what courtship phase?

Having a one night stand with someone you just met is hardly indicative of the intention to then date them.

Leaving without a big to do is sometimes preferable to both, especially if they both started off with beer goggles.

[Xithras]

55. Indeed. A one night stand is just that. No strings.

"fuck em and forget em", as you put it, is sort of the whole point. Sexual enjoyment for its own sake is neither wrong nor anti-liberal.

DU has always had its own prude patrol. The difference between DU and Freeperland, in that regard, is that the Freeper prudes cloak their moral outrage in misguided religious beliefs, and DU prudes cloak their moral outrage in a shroud of feminism. Same plot, different author.

A huge portion of the population, on both sides of the political aisle, simply cannot tolerate the idea that the things people do behind bedroom doors are nobody's business but their own.

[seabeyond]

59. no one is even talking about one night stand. who cares, and what business is it of anyones

and why assume we all havent been there, done that.

[Gwendolyn]

65. I agree with everything you've said.

:)

Trouble is...when these people infantalize women in one area, like sexuality, they hurt them in others. Like the professional arena.

[seabeyond]

8. an ass is an ass. he is trying too hard to be manly and ends up lookin

a fool

[Gwendolyn]

9. No, it's a crude and rude post, But has nothing whatsoever to do with being manly or not.

Women who engage in one night stands often have the same opinion as this poster.

[seabeyond]

10. no... you are wrong. again. nt

[Gwendolyn]

12. No I'm not.

Women often don't like one night stands coming over to their homes because they don't want them hanging around eating their food on a Sunday morning. Or because men steal. Or they become stalkers who know where you live and call a million times a day. Or they might be a serial killer. If I post all those things, does that make me "manly"? No, it makes me crude, even though what I said is true. You're just hyper sensitive for reasons that are easy to deduce.

[seabeyond]

14. that isnt what his post was about gwen.... but act like you dont get it. nt

[Gwendolyn]

19. You've been out of the dating game too long. Over a decade, right?

Anyone who spends time around people who engage in one night stands, no matter the gender or sexual orientation, will find these people have very practical, and often crude attitudes toward their behavior. Sorry if that doesn't fit into your victimization mold.

[Kalyke]

25. I've only been out of it for four years and I found the post sexist

and foolish.

Firstly, he thinks that the woman will take him to her place? Um, no (you've even admitted that yourself - women are advised not to).

Secondly, leave before they wake up? Did the two parties discuss the direction the night was headed before, in this case, the man, made the decision that it was only a one-night stand. Maybe the woman didn't exactly agree to that.

Finally, I'll agree with your opinion that people who engage in a series of one-night stands are crude, but they are NOT practical. In this day and age, sex can not only get one pregnant, it can kill you. One-night stands are not practical, at all.

[Gwendolyn]

30. Sexism is about stereotyping and discrimination.

That post was neither. Both men and women are among those who dislike waking up next to a hook-up the next day, both have fears of meeting a stalker, fears that s/he'll hang around all day the next day, and both mostly engage in one-nighters because they don't want repeat dates. That is not sexism in either case. You dislike it because a guy basically wrote something rude. I guarantee you women are having the same convo somewhere about the same thing in the same crude way.

Obviously there are risks involved in one-night stands. But the heart wants what it wants and so do the genitals. Those who are professional one-night standers usually stick to rules of behavior that mitigate the danger as much as possible.

[Kalyke]

35. Statistically, men are still more likely to participate in a one-night stand

without informing their female (and sometimes male) partners beforehand.

Until that result is 50-50, which it currently isn't and probably never will be, then it's a sexist post.

I don't mind rude. I'm rude. I don't like sexism. And, until women have more power, comments like his are sexist.

[Gwendolyn]

38. Breaking someone's heart and lying are not sexist. That's life.

What you suggest is funny. Can you really imagine two people who've just met at a bar, stopping to negotiate whether or not the sex they're about to have is going to lead to marriage or a full-time relationship? Come on. Anyone who agrees to a random hook-up with someone they barely know opens him or herself up to the risk of then being rejected.

And women have just as much ability and freedom to reject as men do. If they don't (which is purely your opinion) that doesn't make it sexist when men do. You're infantalizing women. Lots of supposed feminists on DU do the same thing.

[seabeyond]

43. he used all the talking points men sittin up at a bar not getting any ... use.

that is the point of my post.

pathetic

gwen always make the argument what isnt.

[Gwendolyn]

44. Too bad you don't bother at all to make sense when you post.

But that's another matter. The poster responded to an OP that talked about a man bringing home multiple women partners. And he's right. It's stupid to bring multiple strangers home to your house.

He did absolutely none of what your badly worded post above implies. You read a lot into the posts of men because you're insecure.

[NashVegas]

46. It's a Wonder We Don't All Invest In a Company That Makes Park Benches

Seems that's about the only place left.

[Kansas Wyatt]

20. The post was about screening.

You have to be an IDIOT to bring a ONE NIGHT STAND to your home.

Women are just as guilty of the same psychotic and criminal issues that men are, but you cannot accept that for some reason.

[redqueen]

11. Is it manliness, though, really?

Or is it just boorishness?

I think some men have the two quite hopelessly confused. Not a small amount of women buying into it, either.

[seabeyond]

15. that is why they end up lookin the fool. agreed. nt

[Kansas Wyatt]

26. Two bulls in a pasture....

The young bull wears himself out chasing the cows all over the pasture, and does not achieve the full enjoyment of what he is seeking.

The old bull just stands there... Because he knows. They will come, but he hasn't wasted all his energy getting all worked up in needless effort.

I learned long ago, what the moral of the story was, but your are free to speculate. Good day now.

[redqueen]

28. "does not achieve the full enjoyment of what he is seeking"

:spray:

OMFG... you're serious with this shit, aren't you?

:rofl:

Please say more!

Bless us with your knowledge, oh wise one... please!

[Kansas Wyatt]

32. If he's worn out before he starts...

The end result is not hard to determine. Open your mind.

:shrug:

Now you are just trying to nitpick.

"Bless us with your knowledge, oh wise one... please!" - Sorry, you may learn from your own experience. If you didn't, then that is your problem.

[redqueen]

33. So... at the bars you go to, you literally have to chase the women around?

Dude, that analogy is fucking hilarious... I was really hoping you'd take it a bit farther than that.

And no, I'm not nitpicking... I'm getting some free entertainment. Please, do go on!

[Name removed]

34. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[sudopod]

52. Why do you feel the urge to share this here?

Do you need some sort of validation from DU? Do you want a cookie? Maybe a high five? What?

Do whatever you want in your free time, but don't get bent out of shape it when you broadcast stories about it to the world and some fraction of the audience doesn't approve.

[Kansas Wyatt]

56. Small minds jumped on the post and asked about it.

It is a moral analogy.

Since you cannot understand either... There is NO reason to wear yourself out with mindless antics, when the decision has already been made. If you are into games, then that is a different story, which may be the reason why some have jumped to false conclusions. The time will come, and when it does, it would be better to be rested up and ABLE to engage, rather than worn out and worthless. Oh, and the one that is able to perform will be liked better than the one who is not.

Now I am really getting concerned about the alleged intelligence around here, since small minded people cannot see beyond their own bullshit.

[Kansas Wyatt]

16. I'm sorry you had your number tossed away at your door.

Believe it or not, there are actually psychotic women who can't accept no, just like men out there.
And by the way, all were told it was a ONE TIME DEAL.

"he is trying too hard to be manly and ends up lookin a fool" - No, I never tried at anything, they came to me. Just amazing how an attractive guy with a reputation makes women flock and think they are the ones to 'break' him. Your outrage is duly noted though.

[seabeyond]

18. bah ha haha. lol. ya right. so ugly you had to chew arm off. nt

[Kansas Wyatt]

22. Bar light - day light.... Amazing what pops out.

:yoiks:

[sudopod]

54. I'm sorry dude, seabeyond is one of the nicest people on the internets.

If someone that nice is bagging on you, you were asking for it.

[seabeyond]

58. the best part of the thread was deleted. a real hoot

you are sweet

thank you

[myrna minx]

5. Wow - this has to be one of the most sexist posts I've ever read here.

[redqueen]

13. Yep... assumes the woman wants to be with him more than one night.

:rofl:

Sexists... too stupid to know they're stupid. :)

[Kansas Wyatt]

17. Whatever

Women get very violent when rejected as well.

[redqueen]

21. Do they? Good thing men never do that!

Hey, good luck with the whole... whatever it is. Wrap it up! :hi:

[Kansas Wyatt]

23. So you are saying men are the ONLY ones who...

Have psychotic issues, when it comes to relating to the opposite sex.

Your ignorance and arrogance is duly noted. No, how many women have you dated? That will be all from you.

[redqueen]

24. LOL... you have some *serious* reading comprehension/projection issues.

[Kansas Wyatt]

27. The subject was ONE NIGHT STANDS

you have some *serious* reading comprehension/projection issues

[Dorian Gray]

66. We do?

That's laughable! Most women I know have too much dignity to get violent if some fool wasn't interested.

[NashVegas]

48. I Don't Find It Sexist

Rather, just plain immature.

One night stands are for people who'd rather have a McBurger than a well-prepped feast.

[redqueen]

49. I thought the assumption that the woman wanted more than a one night stand

pretty sexist, myself.

YMMV

[dysfunctional press]

29. nope.

[Boojatta]

41. Take away the "e" and capitalize and you get "NOP", No Operation.

Your reply was like the reply that consists of nothing but "No Reply."

[dysfunctional press]

50. you asked...

i answered.

[geek tragedy]

4. This post would have a point if

marriage was about nothing but sexual intercourse.

But, in this universe, what a dumbass post.

[Boojatta]

37. If you make the hypothetical scenario more elaborate...

then what is the key difference between the original hypothetical scenario and the more elaborate scenario?

[Statistical]

7. How about you start with defintion of polygamy?

It has nothing to do with the scenario you describe.

polygamy
po⋅lyg⋅a⋅my /pəˈlɪgəmi/
–noun
1. the practice or condition of having more than one spouse, esp. wife, at one time.

[Boojatta]

39. If A and B are repeatedly seen at night going to the same residential dwelling together...

then is there no basis for any suspicion that A and B could be spouses of each other?

Given the same thing for A and C, is there no basis for suspicion that A has both B and C as spouses?

[Statistical]

40. No there isn't.

[Boojatta]

42. What specific observations would be needed...

for an eyewitness to have a basis for the suspicion that the two might be spouses of each other?

[Statistical]

57. Eyewitness. Who gives shit. Cop better come to door with more than that.

If he doesn't slam the door shut.

You have no requirement to speak to a Police Officer. Don't like his question shut the door, then call the Police dept and file a complaint. Police shouldn't even question you without REASONBLE suspicion.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reasonable_suspicion

Having 2 people live with you "could" mean you are married to both of them. It could also mean they are your roomates. Any information that doesn't differential between the crime (polygamy) and the noncrime (living together) doesn't support reasonable suspicion. It would be like saying cop can detain you for suspicion of drug dealing because you are wearing sneakers. Most drug dealers wear sneakers but so do millions of non drug dealers.


Since the crime is more than one spouse and that requires 2+ MARRIAGES you can't figure out what would be required for sufficient EVIDENCE to sustain an arrest? Really? Your mind is totally blank on what possible thing could be sufficient evidence to support probable cause? Well how about some MARRIAGE RECORDS. You have more than 2 MARRIAGE CERTS with no DIVORCE DECREE that might be enough for a judge to sustain the arrest.

[Boojatta]

63. You're talking about law enforcement.

The Original Post of this thread is intended to focus attention on the law and community standards regarding one-night stands versus polygamy, and it involved a law enforcement officer only for the purpose of dramatization.

When you write "Police shouldn't even question you without REASONABLE suspicion", you are talking about law enforcement procedures. However, when I posed to you a question about suspicion, I was referring to ordinary suspicions of ordinary people. I wasn't referring to a concept in law.

[Statistical]

67. Why would I care if my neighbors are "suspicous".

They have no arrest authority.

Their "suspicion" isn't worth anything.

If you replace your cop in the OP with a "suspicion neighbor" it becomes even more laughable.

I would say something like "get off my property before I throw you off".

[Boojatta]

69. What threshold of suspiciousness must be crossed...

for those who have arrest authority to detain a person and transfer the detained person to the custody of torturers?

[Boojatta]

68. "You have more than 2 MARRIAGE CERTS with no DIVORCE DECREE"

Here's something that I found online:

If you live in one of the common law states and don't want your relationship to become a common law marriage, you must be clear that it is your intention not to marry.

If that's accurate, then refraining from getting officially married is not necessarily enough.

[David Zephyr]

31. Monogamous relationships are like Playboy Magazine except you get the same center fold every month.

;-)

[Kalyke]

36. And, if you love that centerfold, there will be no problem.

;)

[David Zephyr]

61. LOL.

I'm still with mine after over 30 years.

[arcadian]

45. Law Enforcement Officer: Good day, sir.

Innocent Man:...

Law Enforcement Officer: Good day, sir.

Innocent Man:...

Law Enforcement Officer: Good DAY, sir...

Innocent Man:...

Law Enforcement Officer: I SAID "Good DAY, sir..."

Innocent Man: *leaves*

[seabeyond]

47. funny. i like. hm. nt

[Statistical]

53. +1000000. lol

[Ozymanithrax]

60. Polygamy is defines has "having more than one spouse at a time."

A one night stand, a weekend fling, or a long term relationship, does not a spouse make, unless the state's "Common Law Marriage" statute defines the beginning of a common law marriage as a one night cohabitation.

If you live in a neighborhood where people call the cops for bringing home a little strange, you should move or revel in the attention of jealous neighbors.

[Teaser]

70. I'm trying, but I just don't know what this is about

.

[rd_kent]

72. Understanding Boojatta: Posts with a point Versus posts that simply take up bandwidth

Seriously, dude, WTF? You really should seek help.