Fan Club Newsletter of America's Favorite Cartoon Character (with centerfold preview.)

[Kurovski]

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Dingleberry Pillboy! If you’re a fan like me, you wake up wondering “What will he do or say today!?” I can’t hardly ever effing wait !!

When listening to Pillboy You may ask: "WTF!!? WTF is he talking about now??” Get a Dingleberry decoder ring today and find out!

Send in two UPC’s from boxes of Constant Comment teabags.

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This month’s contest!!!

Correctly answer the question “ How many boner pills does Dingleberry take a week?”

You can win a handsome polo shirt just like the one Pillboy paws at during his daily crybaby festival and story hour!!!

It’s stretched out for your comfort in all the same places as Dingleberry’s when he tugs at it to relieve his damp man knockers and grease-oozing pits.

Sweet!!!

What could be luckier than this?

Hurry! Hurry!! Hurry!!!

Last month’s contest question was: “Is Dingleberry Pillboy overcompensating for something?” Answer: “Shutup! Shutup! Shutup!”

No winners.

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Coming next month: Dingleberry diet secrets. (dust off your old chemistry sets!)


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Dingleberry Fact: Dingleberry Pillboy has accidentally eaten three Ronald McDonalds since 1963.

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Dingleberry Myth-Buster: He is not the son of the Pillsbury Doughboy and Phyllis Schlafly.

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Upcoming Events: Join Dingleberry Pillboy in Washington D.C. for the MYOMM! (Million Year-Old Man March)

Don’t let the parade pass you by! Force your way to the front. Proudly display your fear and confusion! Polish it up like that bowling trophy from 1958 that you found in the attic but your wife wanted to throw away!!

It’s patriotic! You’re patriotic!! Yes, goddamit, yes you are!!!

Fred Flintstone will join Pillboy as co-grand marshal. Free tours of Dick Cheney’s newest traveling triage-center in a bus. Super-souped-up. Cooler than sixty Corvettes. It’s the kind of thing I hope they spent my tax money on. You read me right, dammit!!

We talked to Dick Cheney the other day (he's also a big Dingleberry fan) and he’s really been hurt about how people keep telling him to shut the fuck up. He says he can read Keith Olbermann’s mind. Very hurtful.

That’s why he’s been sending out his daughter to do his bidding. Problem now is that people have been heard saying “Someone should put her in her place.” After all, she’s got the two kids at home.

So now Dick is out all over the place, getting throttled and beaten over the head by the dammit-to-hell liberals again. Poor old guy. Just can’t catch a break.

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Dingleberry Fun Fact: He lives in Florida, but stays whiter than a bleached anus!

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Feeling uncomfortable these days? Do you have that "not so fresh feeling" about recent events? Well, take back your country! Sit and listen to Dingleberry Pillboy on the radio all day! It's as comforting and refreshing as a summer's eve!!!

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Dingleberry Helpful Hint: Like most Pillboy fans, I'm into some really weird things, so oftentimes I'll be needing a "safety word" for when things get out of hand.

Use "Dingleberry!!!

...or better yet, use the name of the creator of Dingleberry Pillboy, Rush Limbaugh!

Guaranteed to work!!!

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This month's fan letter from Sarah in Alaska:

"I love Dingleberry, I sure do. He'd do anything for me. Or, I mean to say, I'D do anything for HIM." Oh, I'm a fan for sure. the heck with all them other bugs bunnies and what-nots. I pick Dingleberry!!! I don't care how much they smear Dingleberry, or try to wipe Dingleberry out, or try to tear dingleberry from his spot, I'm all for that tenacious little Dingleberry just hangin' in there!"

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Well, so, it's Halloween, right? And money is tight, just the way it always is when foreigners and socialists are picking your pockets.

No matter how much money you have, you can always manage to pinch out a dingleberry costume! It's as easy as 1,2 and number 3!

1) Buy a Dingleberry polo shirt at our online Dingleberry store! (Or win one!)

2) Bleach your anus.

3) Go and Trick or treat at all your local pharmacies.


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Dingleberry Pillboy WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!!!

You can win a dinner with DP! send in your entry form by mail or on our official website!

Open only to Newsletter subscribers.

Newsletter subscribers who are licensed physicians, pharmacists, or industrious housekeepers.


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DINGLEBERRY PILLBOY! He's your prescription for fun!!! See you next month!!!

[autorank]

1. What's a dingleberry;)

How many pills a week for Boehners? How many grains of sand are there in the Sahara?

It's so good to see you back!!!!!!!!!

[eridani]

2. But he did lose the primary, right? n/t

[formercia]

5. Dingleberries are the moons around Uranus. n/t

[formercia]

8. Or is it Assteroids? n/t

[Me.]

7. One Of Too Many To Count

How long do you give him? He's had a good long run but you know how the Gods are, they raise you and then, eventually, they knock you down. Dingleboy is due. I give him less than a year.

[Kurovski]

9. "Dingleberry swings like a pendulum do..."

Dingleberry is a ripe kind of fruit that's fit for the plucking. (provided one happens to have the stomach for it.)

Dingleberry is a dark star situated in the deepest reaches of the firmament.

Dingleberry is our all.

Howdy, pal. :hi:

[Swamp Rat]

3. LOLOL!!!

:rofl: Kurovski! :hi::hug:

"How many boner pills does Dingleberry take a week?" - a brazillion. :D

[Kurovski]

10. Has anyone made my boy-toy Boehner into a pumpkin?

It would seem a natural fit, color-wise. (hint,hint)

Hi, Swampy! :loveya:

[Swamp Rat]

11. I was busy doing something else this afternoon.

"Mother, please!..." :D

[Kurovski]

14. You are indeed a master of terror.

You could jump Double-Dutch with that dastardly harridan's pearls.

[Swamp Rat]

24. Ok, here ya geaux my dear Kurovski:

:D

[Kurovski]

25. Yee-haw!

He looks like a hippy!! :rofl: Or just "hippy".

Thanks for that, dearest Swampy. :)

You got yourself 3 DUzy images there.

[NuttyFluffers]

4. beautiful! but don't use up everything in one go, save some for later.

brevity is the soul of with and less is more and all that.

save some dough to leaven the next batch, as it were. this could be a serial form of entertainment. ;)

edit: cartoon action shots would heighten the experience, btw.

[Kurovski]

17. I think next time

might be someone else.

The righties have so many lovable characters perfectly ripe for the cartooning.

It's their gift.

[Joe Chi Minh]

6. As Joe Biden's sainted, Irish mother used to say, "Gawd love him! He's

a tremendous, wonderful, man and a dear, dear friend, but, but...

[Laurab]

12. I'm joining up for sure! I wouldn't miss this for the world....

Kurovski, my friend, it's so good to see you back - and with a work of art like this, no less!

[Kurovski]

21. >

:hug:

[Laurab]

13. I was in such a rush to join I forgot to add:

I'm all dressed up, done with the bleach, and off to trick-or-treat at ALL my local pharmacies!

[Kurovski]

15. A true Rush Dingleberry devotee!

I hope you win next month's contest. I'll see if I can rig it in your favor. Why not?

[Laurab]

28. Why not, indeed?

I fully agree that I should win although I'm not sure why! :loveya:

[Kurovski]

30. Because winning is everything.

Are you SURE you're an American? :loveya: back.

[Laurab]

31. I dunno I'd have to find my birth certificate...

Not the one the dumb city gave me, of course, my REAL one, wherever it may be!

[Kurovski]

32. Find an active Teabagger in your area.

They know everything.

I'm guessing yours is in Zanzibar.

[JeffR]

16. K & arf!

:rofl:

[Kurovski]

20. Oh, you are just the person I was hoping to see!

I need your help with an upcoming Rush-Limp-Ding-athon event I'd like to get up-and-running, but I'm stumped for where to begin.

Now, I heard that you organised a real nice Palin event, now what was that called? I don't remember, but anyhow, I was hoping you could brainstorm for the fan club's event. any ideas?

[JeffR]

22. Sarahstock was a huge success.

We rented a helicopter and shot a dachshund and two poodles from the air. Even getting busted by the cops didn't dampen the fun.

For your event, I'd advise:

duct tape

hand mirrors

safety scissors

gin

Triscuits

[Kurovski]

23. You are a genius.

And that is why we ask you these things.

I'd like to put something on the Triscuits. What do you think? Yes? No?

[JeffR]

27. Great idea. How about a smidgen of horseradish

topped with a lug nut? You can't go wrong with lug nuts.

[Kurovski]

29. Nothing you say is wrong. Nothing.

Buckshot is nice too. Crunchy, and a personal long-time favorite.

You know, I can barely contain myself because I saw Mr. Pillboy interviewed on Facts News today. I had no idea he was going to be on. I had a friend over who watched with me--which was a mistake--I think her mother smoked too much of the pot when she was pregnant with her, too many bean sprouts and rowdy luv-ins, if you get my drift.

She kept whining about how she wanted to watch something called "Kristy Almannpour" the whole time, but I still managed to take some notes.

First of all, let's face it--Dingleberry is looking great. from his gleaming new neon-white dentures, to his capri pants and espadrilles, he looked aces in my book.

He admitted that his radio audience was "astronomically high". which I guess would be a case of "monkey see, monkey do." He said something off-color--which made me uncomfortable, being in mixed company as I was. He referred to the "biggest snatch". See? Now I'm blushing.

The interviewer from the lefty-liberal-lie factory, Chris Wallace, had the nerve to ask him if he's worth the hundreds of millions that he gets paid every year, he said "People who invest in me get results beyond their expectations." Who didn't already know that? That was real impertinence on the part of the commie questioner who wants us to think Dingleberry is worthless.

Then my house guest (let's call her "pain in my rear") shot off her Cappuccino hole after Dingleberry said the following: " Every day...there's a new potential threat to liberty and freedom being launched by that man (Obama)."

Pillboy continued: "...some days I feel like I'm in a war--no bullets being fired--but...but trenches in a war."

My guest snorted, and in such a mean voice said: "It sounds like he's disappointed that there are no bullets! He's an instigator, Kurovski! Why do you listen to his nonsense?"

Well, by now I'm pretty sure she's crazy and so I don't want to set her off, but all I could do was feel sorry for her that she couldn't appreciate such a fine American millionaire hero. So sad. How could she not understand that in any other country in the world you can't talk for three hours every day on the radio without being taken away. We have freedoms in our country that she just does not understand!! Crazy, right??!

[Catshrink]

18. I thought this would have been Marge Simpson.

[Kurovski]

19. And it would have been,

were she a right wing asshole.

[nadinbrzezinski]

26. Cool!