Erections and Sperm

[boston bean]

should be controlled by federal law. god would like to make sure no erection is helped along with the aid of viagra and frowns upon any child conceived via a chemically aided erection. god's will is god's will, afterall. if you cant' get it up naturally, god doesn't want you getting it up, period.

as for vasectomies, any male who would like to have one will have to submit to a penile ultrasound and sit through a session that explains the procedure and watch a slide show showing exactly how the snips are made. Men who want vasectomies will also have to sit through educational movies made about the children they might have had. god wants men to produce as much off spring as possible, therefore, he also frowns upon,

blow jobs, condoms, whacking off and any other act that ends in wasted sperm.

[Captain Hilts]

1. Got my vote. nt

[The Straight Story]

2. Tie it to healthcare and money, and you will have folks on the liberal side on board

:hide: :evilgrin:

[Gman]

3. I just think testosterone should be a controlled substance

[sendero]

8. Actually...

.. it is.

[Bigmack]

4. "Every sperm is Sacred... Every sperm is good.."

Monty Python... Meaning of Life.

[Demoiselle]

7. Oh thanks for yet another Monty Python earworm! (nt)

[valerief]

11. One of the funniest musical sequences on film. Maybe THE funniest.

:rofl:

[sybylla]

26. One of my faves.

Gotta love Python.

[hootinholler]

30. Every sperm is sacred every sperm is great

If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate!

Cut to the dancing mob ala Oliver...

:rofl:

First thing that came to my mind as well.

-Hoot

[11 Bravo]

5. K&R. Very nicely done! And before Rush Limbaugh gets any ideas ...

cornholing under-aged Dominican boys falls in the "wasted sperm" category. Sorry, Pigboy.

[JBoris]

6. Lets count the number of P's and VJ's amongst lawmakers

The dicks are in charge of making laws. So we know no anti-viagra laws will ever happen, but anti-abortion laws could.
It's a bunch of men sitting on their high horses trying to tell women what to do with their bodies, which is my main problem with the anti-choice crowd.

[Fridays Child]

9. This takes their crap not to a logical extreme but, simply, to a logicalconclusion.

Bravo! Well done!

[TheCowsCameHome]

10. This post is hard to beat.

[pipi_k]

12. Not just willful acts of sperm-wasting....

but nocturnal emissions too.

I say we subject guys' bedsheets and underpants to random inspections for signs of "accidental" sperm murder during the night.

[ldf]

15. those nocturnal emissions are god's doings...

HE caused me to waste all that sacred sperm.

THE HORROR!

[pipi_k]

27. Are you sure it was god? It could very well have been

Satan, up to mischief while God was busy elsewhere answering the prayers of someone who wanted a newer car or a better looking mistress...


:evilgrin:

[hootinholler]

31. Evidence that Satan sent his sucubus

:rofl:

-Hoot

[KG]

13. Bailiff, whack his pee-pee!

:P

[bluethruandthru]

14. No government dollars should be spent subsidizing Viagra,

cialis or any other erection inducer. Why help men impregnate women?

[keroro gunsou]

16. every sperm is sacred

every sperm is great
if one sperm is wasted....
god gets quite irate...

you know the rest.

[Kablooie]

17. But Abraham encouraged wanton erections and sperm. He offered his daughters for the purpose.

I just got R. Crumb's Illustrated Book of Genesis .
It's great. I can now read parts of the bible I had to skim over before.

http://www.amazon.com/Book-Genesis-Illustrated-R-Crumb/dp/0393061027/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1256791725&sr=8-1

[The Straight Story]

18. Are you referring to the old Jewish parts?

Those were pretty messed up IIRC. No wonder so many follow the NT more so than the OT.

[Kablooie]

19. Yep. And it's the inviolable word of God himself. Not the word of his proxy son.

[intheflow]

32. Not sure if it's a logical conclusion that less people follow the OT than the NT

because the OT is so messed up. First of all, the OT is still part of the Christian Bible, so many Christians take it just as seriously as the NT. And there is stuff in there that is not draconian, and is in fact liberating, such as the story of Moses freeing the slaves and many strong female role models that are almost entirely absent in the NT. Then there's the fact that the primary followers of the OT had their population severely decimated by that little thing called the Holocaust. And finally, those are the texts that Jesus himself drew inspiration from; if you like his teachings you cannot toss out the Hebrew teachings that informed him.

As a devout agnostic, I don't believe the Bible is inerrant, but to broadbrush the selective Jewish teachings that are included in the Christian Bible comes close to being anti-Semitic (although, knowing you, I am 100% sure that wasn't your intent).

[cliffordu]

20. Well, that last line puts the kabosh on all my hobbies.

[WillyT]

21. The First Time I Had Sex, I Was So Scared...

I was all by myself.

:evilgrin:

[Touchdown]

22. I got a better idea. Why not have a government with no God?

:shrug:

[SeattleGirl]

23. But, but, erections and sperm are SACRED!!!

:hummina: :hummina: :hummina:

All bow down to the sacred erection and sperm!





Actually, I rather like your idea, bb. For every restriction they put on a woman's right to control her body, a corresponding restriction should be placed on the man's right to control his body. I bet the misogynists would back off real fast if that were to happen.

[Iggo]

24. Nice post, Anita Bryant.

[Little Star]

25. K&R

[redqueen]

28. Excellent!

:thumbsup:

[Mrs. Overall]

29. WJUV?

I think not.